Glitching&Unlocking the Matrix (DR +RoS+RoM)

[Akephalos]

Time cometh for update.
KHAN ST1 total breakdown. First cycle.
Intuitively kind of knew gmx and a tournament event irl would help unravel khan st1 whats been boiling in my subconscious for a while.

I came very close to winning but as i was leading mistakes and misfortune took the victory from me and that triggered deep anger sitting there for a long while. The feeling of victory being taken from me nothing i despise more.

I always been obsessed with winning all the time but i never got the spotlight i felt i deserved. Strong resonance with sun in my chart(pride, ego, victory obsession, glory, recognition aka need to shine ) . Every time i feel im way too kind, empathetic and that i should be way more ruthless and cutthroat to win.
After all khan conquered most of the world because he did whatever it took.

Thoughts looping ‘Im cursed and fked by god/universe since the day i was born to always get screwed over’ it just rotts the soul from inside and makes me feel if the universe deprives me of the spotlight i deserve then i will go to any lenght neccessery to take it by force.
At the end of the day i much rather win than lose.

Being in the mist of recon im aware it is a sort of self imposed dark comedy but oh well i still have to play my part.

I been through deep spiritual experiences oneness with infinite, integration of death and more but if i incarnated on this plane i want to play the material game and direct the spiritual into helping me conquer the material.

Fuck money, fuck love and everything else. There’s just nothing sweeter on this plane of existance than victory and glory.

[Akephalos]

In the spirit of comment above also been listening on repeat to https://youtu.be/MfmYCM4CS8o?si=vgsgt0JA3bwOSSak

[Akephalos]

And as for khanblack 3rd cycle st1 being almost over a spot luckily just opened nearby for a kundalini awakening retreat i signed up.
Will be interesting to match the extremes of my current mood with the spiritual.

[Risky]

Ooo that sounds like it’s going to be awesome together with KB.

I’m taking a breathwork course and doing some YouTube guided standing meditation and see progress, imagine a retreat where you can focus on a practice.

[SwagKing]

Love this journal. These are exactly the wild experiments I love.

[Akephalos]

Im glad you are enjoying it, havent updated much mostly just written on product pages some updates, currently khan st 1, phenix 1 and kb st2 as i need a strong blockages purge and rebirth to reset and clear the foundation before building upon it and i manifested a process which will start soon for a very strong symbolic rebirth, clean slate, blockage /limitations clearing then time for growth, expansion and njoying the fuck out of material life

[Akephalos]

@Realitysmith posting reply here so its not derailing the other thread.

From khan mindset that is the sweetest of fruits.

Jokes aside i really love the way they make me feel.
Like a medival king, royalty, a billionaire that won at life and now just enjoying the walk in a plesant breeze.
I like feeling the intensity of emotions, the intensity of their focused love and the romantic sweet build up to it.

Its a very focused directed clear energy stream of love , not diluted by many entanglements and romantic/sexual connections of past parthners.

I like feeling as if im their entire world, it makes me want to give them the world. Its like a never ending reality bubble for just the two of us, reminds me of that song.

Several girls told me the emotional connection is so extremely intense for them for the guy they lost their virginity to, even if they were treated poorly they still loved him. Recall once over hearing a girl say she cant respect the new guy dating her because he wasnt the biological father of her child but thats a bit different situation with an added variable to equation.

Anyway when i feel that intense love, loyalty and devotion from her its very motivating to me to commit and invest in the relationship, i personally like treating a girl pretty well, and giving her new experiences, giving her joy gives me joy as well as i have high empathy but i have to feel that she is worth it and deserves it.
Objectively her being a virgin is a very strong foundation for a loving lasting successful relationship and i like long term building towards something.

Otherwise i dont really have motivation to commit or invest into relationship to nonvirgins as theres so many flavours of girls, i really need strong motivation.

Also for lack of a better term i dont really want someone elses “leftovers” no judgement but its just a hard pass for me, its very repulsive, disgusting and even disrespectful to me in a relationship context, for sex its whatever.

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Also for lack of a better term i dont really want someone elses “leftovers” no judgement but its just a hard pass for me, its very repulsive, disgusting and even disrespectful to me in a relationship context, for sex its whatever.

Overall to summarise the beautiful young virgin girl makes me feel on top of the world like i won at life, that translates to positive psychological and body chemical health benefits, that youthful passionate loving energy infects me and makes me love and appreciate life so much more… To enjoy the sweetness of it all.

While with nonvirgins and older girls i feel pretty much the opposite of all that in a summary just “meh”

[Realitysmith]

Very controversial post. I personally don’t really care if a girl is a virgin or not, as long as she’s clean (no STD’s).