I had a similar thing on another producer’s subs. It was uncanny. I’d get something on track, and some stroke of bad luck would come out of the blue and derail it. Then an equally unlikely stroke of good luck would happen to at least let me find a solution to at least mitigate the disaster.
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Lol, that’s how it is for me as well. Been struck from all angles for the last 3 months, to the point where I’m stuck in all areas of my life. Nevertheless I was able to mitigate the disasters and probably thanks to the subs kept my self emotionally strong, only once in a while get a sudden 2 min or 1 min of rage or emotional frustration but it is in private.
Already finished my 5 day washout and the recoil that didn’t felt during the month cycle was really strong during the washout, specially the last 2 days. It manifested itself in the form of tiredness and indifference towards everything/not wanting to do anything at all.
Today already transitioned towards QLST1 and since PPC got upgraded felt the desire to change from emperor to the will to power but disregarded it as being shinny object syndrome, lol. And stuck with Emperor since it helps me keep a positive mood despite circumstances.
On the other hand when I took my break from Trading was 9% down in my portfolio and now I’m only 4% down (FTMO) so it has been an improvement since last time
Today ran a full loop of QL ST2 and a 5 min loop of EB, to see if I get better results. I’ve been decently productive but compared to when I was running Genesis, on Genesis felt compelled to be pretty active through the day and felt pretty positive, but it may be also another symptom of recoil.
So after the 5 min loop of EB, during the day was somewhat more productive, I would say around 20% more, and now I could probably tell the difference between Genesis and EB when it comes to productivity (keep in mind that I’m also running QLST2).
Genesis motivates me to do more things, when I ran genesis felt pretty good during the day, pretty positive, and would imagine things get a positive emotion associated with the pursuit of the goal and get motivated to take action.
EB on the other hand feels somewhat more subtle, it feels like it works more through the removal of distractions, I don’t feel motivated to do stuff, take action, I just do it like a normal part of my routine and remain focused on the task for longer periods of time, getting absorbed in the activity.
After that day been procrastinating somewhat, then lost the FTMO challenge and just started a new one but with other Prop Firm. My only focus is to be hyper productive for the year, so I hope change comes when I start running QL ST3 combined with EB. Otherwise I’ll replace it for something like EOG ST3 or Executive, since I’m not that interested in increasing my dominance since I’m already a dominant person.
Today just started after another 5 day washout, moved on to QL ST3 and instead of running daily EB will switch it for EOG ST3 and run only once per week EB.
The main effects I’ve seen from EB are increased savageness with other people, mainly calling people out on BS or other stuff without any tact which is kinda funny but isn’t a great power move, lol.
I had these last insights while running that stack:
I hated easy things and would always look towards succeeding at doing hard stuff, I tend to glorify the struggle and that would be displayed in several things like not studying for tests but at the same time getting top grades, competing against the best at certain sports until I was able to get at a similar level or even beat them up. When it came to videogames would only play them at the hardest difficulties (playing at a lesser difficulty than that was for pussies lol).
At the same time would judge people for trying to ease things up, to make them easier or getting things easily. I believe this has manifested into my life by making everything extremely hard eventually to I can barely make it out.
The Irony is that now I’ve been unemployed for like 3 months already submitted thousands of applications, changed my resume several times, in fact I try to tailor it to the job at hand and still unemployed. It’s gotten to the point were I’ve gone to step outside home depots at 5 in the morning waiting for the construction contractors to arrive to offer them a labor hand and still nothing has come up
Now I decided to go another route towards healing and I’m running Dragon Reborn ST1 and Revelation of mind. I’m in the 3rd week running it.
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Right now I’m on my 1st washout day out of the 5 and will be moving into DR St2 afterwards. Just Finished an inner child meditation, during the meditation when I asked what was blocking me from achieving prosperity, the answer I received was being judged by others and not being considered an equal.
Today just started running DR St 3 and did one 10 min loop of daredevil
Regarding my journey on ST2 didn’t felt much recon as I expected although when I felt it, I felt it pretty hard. During my ST2 journey I combined it with love bomb and revelation of Spirit.
More likely at the end of running ST2 felt more tired of not having money and this gave me more fuel to push harder towards success. At this point I’m already looking for any opportunity.
With Love bomb, I was love bombed by my dog a couple times and also personal at different facilities like secretaries would treat me better than usual.
Revelation of Spirit gave me more discipline in regards to my spiritual practices. I just to flake a lot when it came to doing yoga but now I’m doing yoga directed at developing my chakras on a daily basis. Also I’m learning Quantum human design. And when It came to doing tarot readings that already been practicing for a couple years, I’ve been more accurate.
I was able to get a job but is a way underpaid job, like a thousand usd per month for 48 hrs in us lol. I feel dead working over there, it reminds me of the scene at better call soul in which he is working at dunking donuts and the whole scene is black and white and lifeless
Right now In st3 I’ve had some realizations about how much of a coward I am and I’ve realized that I have a ton of weaknesses and flaws. Combined with the awareness I got by taking some sort of trauma/emotion correction/growth course. I’ve realized that I was suppressing a lot of emotions not really tuning into them or just ignoring them, nevertheless I would never outgrow them and that may be one of the reasons I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
I have a lot of shame about my self and feel like an absolute loser at times, but at the same time I’m feeling more motivated to move forward, I cannot stand this anymore.
What is your listening schedule?
Are you using microloops?
Thursday- 1: 7min loop of daredevil and 1 full loop of DR ST 3
Saturday- 1: Full loops of DR ST 3 and 1 full loop of Revelation of Dreams
Monday- 1 Full loop of DR ST3 and 1 full loop of Revelation of Dreams
The rest are washout days
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Took an extra day off with my listening schedule and today started to feel extremely negative, even was considering suicide which never happened before and nothing bad happened to me today which is the weird thing nevertheless, the crappy feeling is till lingering around. I hope this is recon and possibly cluttered emotions that I need to go through.
suggestion
if youd ever feel like you get too much recon maybe try listening to one sub per day.
Monday : Revelation of Dreams
Thursday : daredevil
Saturday : DR ST 3
or you could also try :
day 1 : Revelation of Dreams + ascencion chamber
3 days rest
day 2 : DR ST 3 + daredevil
3 days rest
repeat…
maybe you could get more results that way since you let each individual script to settle and bloom in your mind. Allowing it to express itself with more ease since youre not constantly processing