Geoff’s Journal - Glm + LotS + LD

Journals - Major Programs
#1

God Like Masculinity and The Legacy of the Spartan.

I had thought of many subs over the past weeks, ascension was really high on my list until I felt complete revulsion to any and all sexual/romance scripting. I can’t express how much I want nothing to do with it.

I had bought Rebirth yesterday and was going to run it with Glm as sales page says it’d stack well together. I am no stranger to having traumas brought up since running Dragon Reborn for 1 year, however since I am currently going through Neurofeedback therapy I want to refrain from emotional healing as it can cause me to give feedback that could affect how my therapist adjusts things, so I’m keeping it simple.

To be quite honest, there is something in me that sabotages any effort I put into my self physically. Most likely self esteem I’m thinking. I lack consistency, drive, discipline, inspiration and resolve. I give in to things that are not good for me. I justify bad decisions and manipulate myself out of good decisions. I have a defeatist attitude and sometimes my cynicism downgrades into pessimism. I lack a level of masculinity needed to accomplish what I want.

Exercise/desire to work out - none
Discipline - low/none
Motivation/inspiration - low
Self control - low
Drive - low
Self esteem - low
Confidence - low
Consistency - low

Current weight - 152lbs (about 25 to 32lbs over)
Goal weight 125lbs shred, built up - 135lbs

Emotional Resilience
Emotional Self control
Boundaries
Assertiveness
Discipline
Endurance

I just want to stop getting in my own way, build resilience and self respect.

10 Likes
#2

3:45am - Monday

Glm - 15 mins + LotS - 15 mins

Edit: (4:25am) 10 mins after my loops, I felt the desire to do two sets of flutter kicks (slowed) and 10 push ups. Not much but I’ll take it.

I had the thoughts “I want to be like iron” and “no more weak behaviors” in my mind, then the push to do something. I’m definitely out of shape, it shows. Gotta start somewhere

5 Likes
#3

Mon night, talking to coworker about an area being blocked. Coworker offered to get hi-lo and move object. I said oh really, cool thanks man. As he was walking away, he said “only for you Geoff, only for you.”

Definitely a Glm result. The whole thing had a different vibe, usually no one would do anything about things like this.

I was only at work mon night but at work no one cracked jokes, or made comments to me like in times past. Ppl also did not use me as a sounding board like before. I felt comfortable just standing in my area without feeling the need to continue the conversation.

I decided randomly to clean up my work area, wipe down my machines that I run. I Haven’t done this in literal months (6+)

Tues, overwhelmingly tired, like legacy is working on me. I accomplished planting out the rest of my garden. I fixed part of my fence that’s been broken for 6+ months. If I wasn’t so tired on a deep level, I would have done more. My sleep today felt heavy, like I was in repair mode.

I am off on vacation the rest of the week so my plan is to get done all of the things I avoided, ignored and just plain didn’t care about for the past year.

From what I can tell so far, Glm is like a strong, wise man talking to you, guiding you to do all things a man should.

I have talked to ppl on the phone and in person. No lashing out, no upset or feelings of annoyance/aggravation. Communication is direct and without unnecessary words. I used to get triggered by others but now I feel unphased so far.

My demeanor feels stoic for lack of a better word. Unless the situation necessitates emotions, I seem to have this calm and composed face on throughout my day. Emotional control/regulation is impressive so far. This is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. Self control.

As far as Legacy - I feel this subtle reminder to take any opportunity for improvement. It’s as if waiting until I have a free moment, it whispers how about some push ups, or if I’m at work, why not do some bodyweight squats while you stand there. Today however I feel genuinely tired on a deeper level. So processing/shifting is going on but I have yet to notice what.

So far I like what’s manifesting. I think this will bring me to the next level going forward. I’ll only be running twice a week for 3 weeks with one week washout each month. I do not want to over expose, the magic happens after you listen, so less is more :slight_smile:

4 Likes
#4

Nice results. How long do you listen to each title.? 15 min?

#5

I started Monday with 1 loop each, 15 min each. These are not as dense as DR so I’m not sure if I’ll stay with 15 mins or switch it up.
But whenever I start new titles, I usually run the first two loops the full 15.

2 Likes
#6

You mean you will lower them to like 9, 7, 5, or 3 minutes in the future right?

#7

Yes, probably 7 min loops next week

1 Like
#8

How has LotS been going for you bro? Still running it?

#9

Yep still running. But as of today, it will be in the custom with some other modules like
Heracles
Anvil of Hephaestus
Serum X
Deep sleep.

But thus far it is definitely better than what I tried.
I mean I tried Spartan, EF st 1,2,3, and also Wanted.

But of course, you need to take action. Like going to the gym etc.

#10

Did it make you tired at first? Today I’ve been just deeply tired and it feels like shifting or healing

#11

Not at all. I have had it with Khan st1 and CFW in my first cycle and then with Khan st1 and SE and never felt like something is off.
Btw my working out schedule is One day working out and one day rest and so forth so I have time to regenerate enough.

#12

I guess it’s just me then. Then again I have a ways to go since I’m currently starting from the bottom.

#13

Yes, it could be. Maybe you can try NMN or D-ribose to boost your energy. Or Rhodiola or Siberian ginseng.

#14

Since I know you have those problems with adrenals have you ever thought about using Paragon?

#15

I ran a Paragon custom last few months with DR, it was helpful. I might use that custom again in a few cycles

1 Like
#16

I notice that when I’m off work, and it’s late…the worst of me comes out. Idle hands type of thing but also the thoughts and temptations. If I’m not doing something of value, then all the weakness starts creeping.

Self esteem, self worth and value keep coming into my mind whenever I see myself behaving in sub par ways. Something is bothering me. :confused:

What is at the root of devaluing self? What causes someone to go against their own development? Why, after a year on DR and ongoing neurofeedback do I still act in opposition to my goals. The subs are just tools and action is required, yet when I have nothing really going on, I sabotage. Is this due to not loving oneself?

I am literally retraining brain waves with therapy and installing new beliefs through subliminals and I’m still struggling with this.

All of a sudden I’m questioning if LBH or Rebirth would be better. Is this frustration from reconciliation or just me thinking out loud. With each poor decision, my anger towards myself grows. Maybe that indignation is the problem, maybe it should love and compassion instead. Anger begets more anger after all.

Thoughts of switching to Rebirth + LBH litter my mind. I’ve only ran 1 loop of my stack. No…if anything, add LBH next cycle. Or would adding Limit Destroyer to my stack help :thinking:

Maybe I should just move forward and do better tomorrow.

Sometimes I come to realize that I am not even on my own side. That would definitely slow results in growth.

1 Like
#17

Where do you get this? I am interested in NF

#18

I see a neurofeedback therapist in my area once a week, every Friday. $160 a session. She hooks up wires like an EEG to areas of my head and my brain gets to see itself and adjusts.

I specifically do the Othmer method. It’s really taken away my hypervigilance, and sympathetic dominance issues. I’m much more calm and relaxed. But working on finding balance now as my focus/awareness isn’t quite in the zone yet.

I’d Google practices near you. But most places are out of pocket since insurances aren’t really into covering it, some do though.

Check here @Palpatine

https://eeginfo.com/member/directory.do

2 Likes
#19

@Palpatine

Can you tell me if when you ran Ascension…your self confidence shot up? Did it help you focus more on always doing things, not wasting time or getting yourself into trouble when bored?

#20

I felt “calmer” mostly. Which I think partly came from a sense of confidence of the flavor of “Even if I don’t know how to X, I can find out easily enough how to X, so no biggie”

or “I don’t know the answer, but it’s easy enough to find it”

Having GLM in with it helped a lot, too. I’m bringing Ascension and GLM back as soon as I can