12:30 am, Thurs
Ascension Chamber- 3 mins and DR: Limit Destroyer- 3 mins.
Let’s break through the fog, gain clarity and move.
Edit: not 15 mins later and I’m nodding off at work, feeling increased tiredness. 4 more hours left here and now I just want to sleep…damn, not a side effect I wanted.
Edit 2: 1.5 hours later I’m doing push ups and squats at work. Still tired but not nodding off. Weird shift in state.
Seems like the neurofeedback is working. My speech is better.
Bro, that’s amazing news! Congrats. I bet you’re feeling great about that huh.
Yeah I am feeling great but it is not my finished goal (that is a full eradication), will see what it can do in the long term because right now I had if I am not mistaken 6 or 7 sessions so far.
DRLD has me thinking about how I’m treated and how I want/should be treated. Every person I know, there’s been memories of interactions and I seem to be dissecting the dynamics and learning from them.
The last girl I was involved with, there’s still a yearning there and I recognize now(today) how I tend to give my value/power away for her time. I’m pissy at myself for not accepting this sooner yet I’m conflicted still on the whole thing but I know the right move is 100% disconnection. I guess I still don’t have enough self value or I wouldn’t be doing things like this. My actions demonstrate to others that I don’t value myself, so why should they?.
The inner dialogue I’m having today is rough, lots of questions over what I do, have done or will do in the future as well as WHY. It’s mentally taxing, like when you’re a child and your parents are verbally chewing you out and you’re just lost in it.
DRLD definitely over powers Glm/LotS as the results I usually feel on Mon when running it are completely overshadowed by this internal fire I’m experiencing.
It’s funny, probably ascension chamber related. The girl I mentioned above, called me tonight while I’m at work. I had replied to a msg on telegram and so we chatted for 22 mins. Nothing major, caught up basically. It’s like the state of mind I changed to, somehow affected her and she reached out. She hasn’t called this year, only texted sporadically.
I felt more grounded and guarded. More aware of my words and less giving with my energy.
Lesson: Don’t get sucked back in, respect yourself and others will too.
Never force, don’t beg and don’t chase.
I look back and see I’ve done them all, makes sense why the past was not successful. Rules to live by. If only we can keep wisdom like this ever present in our conscious mind and therefore never falter.
Sunday, 5:30am
Glm/LotS - 15 mins each.
I felt the urge to listen to full loops all weekend, so decided to run today instead of Monday as to give me 3 full days to process and integrate before my next listening day.
I always listen to lowest or 2nd lowest volume on phone when running subs. That +1 or +2 up from silent. I tried +2 just now and it was too much as I’m laying in my bed in utter silence.
Worked out twice this weekend, I’m starting to feel this systemic tiredness which means I’m doing too much. The impatience I feel for more results physically has been a lot lately. I seem to just want to get there already. This transition is a lifestyle, not a destination and anything of value, takes sustained effort. most days I still can’t believe that I was depressed and traumatized for 30 + years.
It’s not surprising the impatience and rush to build the life I should have built 15 years ago. Still dealing with the feelings of lost time, wasted life ect. It’s never too late to change. I just hope I’m moving in the right direction. I believe I am but only God knows.
Been trying to visualize my ideal physical shape, not sure it’s of benefit. Do I just picture myself with abs? Do I think about bodyfat melting off me? Do I picture my triceps getting larger? Or do I just affirm to myself " I am getting leaner" or “my shoulders are getting stronger with every rep”
Not 100% clear on what visualization looks like in this case. I’m still at 141lbs this week, I upped carbs a little and even had a ice fruit bar or two last night as a treat. I’ll be back strict this week.
Maybe the plateau is from not resting enough. Maybe one loop a week isn’t enough anymore. I’ll see how full loops today affect me this week. It’s still 1 loop a week, just 15 mins now.
I imagine I’m standing before a mirror looking at my reflection. Seeing myself looking how I want. Flexing. Tensing pecs, etc.
Woke up after a solid 10hr sleep. Hazy mind and a slight head-ache, not really a real headache. Lower left back/side feels like a strain or pulled muscle? Can you you strain a muscle in sleep? I don’t completely remember dreaming but maybe I did and it facilitated that pull 
Not a great way to start the week. As I was falling asleep this morning I told myself the priority was slimming down. When I pictured myself in the mirror, it’s weird but I can’t visualize my face and I had a hard time visualizing the pecs I wanted on me. I guess minds eye is becoming a higher priority in the future.
Can the lack of visualization skills be hindering/holding back shifting results? As if I can’t see a better version of me, how would my subconscious take action on an unclear picture?
Might be that a different sensory modality would work better for you.
Feeling how tight mean muscles would feel as you go about your day.
Or hearing woman complimenting how cut you are.
Just lost my job an hour ago. I’ve been wanting to leave for awhile, just not be blindsided like I was. 3 out of 5 of us on nights are gone. 6 ppl on days, plus half of the foundry and our direct supervisor gone.
Only weird part is, I’m 8 years there and they let me go but kept a guy with less than 1 year on 1st. But I’m not the only one with more seniority who got fleeced. I could file a grievance with the union but I’m not sure I want to actually stay and work there.
Now I’m not sure what to run to help in finding a job. I could make a custom asap but what?
I’m going on vacation Wednesday through Sat to Florida and now I have this anxiety to deal with. I’m a single income with modest emergency fund so the fears kicked in already.
I’m sure it’s all for the best, but for now the unknown is unsettling.
Sorry man. I know that shit sucks.
I got fired on April Fool’s Day in 2006 from a “hometown” Sears dealer store because the manager lied about an agreement he and I had about working Saturdays.
The first sub combo/stack that jumps out at is Mogul+Ascension Chamber.
Or Genesis+AscChamber.
Would have been nice to have had job leads before hand but oh well.
Do you think Ascension is good for jobs?
I’m thinking about a light minds eye custom with yggdrasil, fortunes fav, job seeker, tyrant and whatever else would help in manifesting an ideal situation?
I may be biased, but I think you can’t ever go wrong with Ascension.
Drld has really killed my vibe as far as motivation, optimism and discipline goes. Too healing focused. I’m hoping Ascension perks me up and gets me going again.
I feel way too detatched and uninterested lately. Which does not help when pursuing work.
Thanks man
Here’s the money manifestation custom I built:
I haven’t run it enough to report results. Ran it a few times and got bigger tips on Uber Eats and Doordash.
It’s meant more for manifestation, not as much healing. I iterated the modules list with Saint a bit, and his recommendation at the time was to run R.I.C.H. once weekly with this custom in a standard every-other-day rotation…where R.I.C.H. would handle whittling away at the wealth ceilings.
Once weekly so it wouldn’t be overwhelming.
Thurs - 4 am.
Drld - 5 mins and Ascension chamber- 5 mins.
Spent all day in airports yesterday, in Florida today. Slept 5 hrs. It’s been 2 days since I was laid off work and it’s crazy how much I feel like a loser. My perception of a “man” is overly related to work. The struggle of my inner voice waring with the creeping discouragement…
It’s difficult for me trying to enjoy a vacation. My minds saying I don’t deserve a vacation and I need to work harder.
…
I’m still dealing with this strain or pulled muscle from sleep the other day. Not healing too quick. I’m stuck at 141lbs the past week. My psyche is drifting to places I don’t need to go. There’s moments I think I am heading to a victim mindset and I freak out. I need to reset, re center everything.
Drld doesn’t really uplift. It feels like added weight whenever I run it. Too much uncertainty right now, its unsettling.
7am - Sat
Drld - 3 mins.
Heading back home this morning, figure another loop can’t hurt, extra for this week. Need to break fantasies in my life, overcome this deep rooted fear/aversion drld has been digging up all week. Everytime I run a loop I turn nasty, attitude wise, it’s never good but happens.
Got a job interview monday as well. So hopefully it’s worth it.
…
Edit: Sat evening, back home now. I notice such a heavy feeling on Drld. Burdening, internal anger. Nothings changed in this regard since I started with it. Not sure how job searching/interviews are going to go when I feel so heavy and emotionally oppressed. Motivation and drive is below average, reconciliation is heavy but not intense.
Mon - 1:30am
LotS - 5 mins and Glm - 5 mins.
It’s been a heavy week in many ways. Trip was okay, and now I’m on the job grind. Interview later today. I’ve been dealing with low confidence and inadequacy from running Drld, so hopefully lots/glm overrides that.
Muscle strain in back almost healed, only took a 1.5 weeks, longer than I thought. Looking forward to the shit feelings going away, drld recon or just getting laid off…I don’t know. Just tired of feeling so low.