Genesis + Ascension.
Will write when i feel like it.
Will write what i feel like writing.
This journal is for myself.
Enjoy.
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Exactly how all the journals should be. For oneself. Others are free to read.
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I wrote this because in the past i made journals for validation, tried to come up with cool stacks and cool names for the journal, every time i wrote something in the journal i would refresh the site to see likes and comments.
Genesis helped me see this validation seeking and eliminate it.
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I have no purpose, i wake up, go to the gym, scroll on the phone, watch tv and go to work.
Why do i even wake up in the morning? Im useless.
Maybe my purpose is to scroll all day on tiktok…
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Are you feeling apathy?
Sometimes, way less than when i wrote this
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Run this stack and read “Mastery” by Greene.
I discovered my purpose already, thanks a lot 
What are you running now then?
Is it aligned with your purpose?
Great, I myself am working in my own apathy. The reason I go into apathy is because the duality of emotions (feel good/bad) is part is life but I’m too attached to feeling good and disowning/resisting feeling bad. Basically I’m uncomfortable with my own emotions so I go into apathy because it’s hopeless to strive for happiness and resist sadness, it’s an impossible battle. So I go into apathy because I rather feel nothing.
I now try to feel every emotion and accept it. Also trying to not labelling “bad” emotions bad. Long journey ahead. But just wanted to say, apathy is not the answer.
Right now i am not running anything, you can see the reason on my latest journal if you are interested.
My purpose is to become the best fighter who ever lived, vetter than all the warriors of previous times and so good that no other fighter in the future have hope to surpass me, but still instill inspiration in upcoming fighters.
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This is the reason i feel/felt apathy.
But i learned and still learning to open my heart and embrace every emotion, good or bad.
I now look at emotions as an inseparable part of the human experience.
Its better to feel bad emotions than to feel nothing.
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Couldn’t have said it better myself brother.
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