Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1387

Back from gym there was some unpositive things and there were good things too,
Like I executed deadlift properly that was good.
The first time i tried to do it, i got frustrated because the bar was empty and it was so low that i had to bend too much, but i add something to increase height and problem solved. But i think it’s still more complicated than the other exercises in gym.

And i did seated cable fly pain free, and it’s so good, better than pec deck fly, it gives you more tension.

And the negative thing is, i can see that my strength decreased at chin ups, like when i first tried i was doing 3-4 reps with 7.5, 5 kgs now im doing 3-4 reps with bodyweight. i don’t know why, this happened

#1388

I think one of the issue with my gym progress is I’m doing an are only twice a month. Like first week I’m doing chest &back, legs. Other week arms&delts legs again and goes on…

i think it hinders my progress. i will do some experiments, at leg day i will do chin ups and dips

#1389
#1390
#1391
#1392

i was reading hero’s sales page again out of curiosity, now I’m thinking to buy it, i realized that i overlooked some parts of the title, like

Mental perfection
Physical perfection
Spiritual perceftion
Financial perfection
Moral perfection

What is surprising me is financial perfection, does it have any wealth script, or it will make through craftmanship

#1393

I’m on tight budget but maybe i could buy it.
i need changes but before buying i will think for a few days.

i think this sub is a versatile one. Like 2-3 subs emerged in a one sub.

This could be really good for my studyings and might help me to feel more secure safe, confident.

#1394

Well people say Khan black is the best sub for beating pmo addiction, but for recent times i can’t say this is the truth for me. i ran st1 for lots times i don’t even remember the count.
i even think that it increased the urge to do pmo, recently i feel my energy more stagnant and it leads to ejaculation otherwise I feel so bad.

Now I’m playing st2 maybe st1 was the problem, but if i think that it’s not beneficial for me i might drop it.

#1395

Actually before thinking buying hero, yesterday I was thinking about running DR: Limit Destroyer or Phoenix which I already have. I’m little indecisive now.

if i read the copies again i might have better ideas but copies are long and takes time.

#1396

i re read the copies of phoenix and Limit Destroyer, I think they are nice but idk I’ve ran them in the past.
Objectives are good, i think they are similar titles. But as i understand from the copies phoenix is more aggressive. And they are healing subliminals so they are disruptive, and this is the last i need. i need consistency, order.

i will read the copy of hero, and then make the choice. The issue is my stack is full+ i already run 4 subs, if I’m gonna buy the hero i should drop legacy of the Spartan, but this may not be enough.

As far as i understand hero origins has a very long script. But i don’t want to drop limitless nor sanguine. And i want to give more time to Khan black

#1397

Reading hero’s copy lasts like eternity

#1398

Back from gym,

i was not doing any overhead press for a while because i thought that incline bench press and dips will cover it. But i think this was a mistake. Now I’m thinking adding military press, but which day I’m gonna do it?
Frequency?? And with my Norma situation i train my back &chest 2x month and 2x arms&delts. And i think this is not efficient with this program i couldn’t gain strength actually with certain movements it decreased.

To solve this i add upper movements in leg days.

But what about military press, if i add this in arms and delts day, trainin will be more long of course. At that program I’ve already added extra movements. I don’t know. And i think I should military press twice time in a cycle so it makes 4times in a month. Not bad.

i should try this by my own, and find answers. Actually when i look to what I’m doing, I’m doing experimental training. i haven’t found the optimal program yet.

it might sound funny but the exercise get me thinking is elbow ones, i don’t want to give time them, but i have to do it

#1399

the conclusions i get from my trainings so far:
Any overhead press version is mandatory, and train upper body at least 2x a week

#1400

I’ve ran hero for the first time for 2min.

From now on my stack is:

Limitless
Sanguine
Khan Black
Hero.
Will see, what will happen, but later maybe i can drop sanguine or KB

#1401

What do I have to do(!?), i mean what I’m avoiding to do? What shackles me? it’s the exam, education system. This is my main problem, so for my life i didn’t avoid from hardships i was responsible person. But during pandemic when Ive realized that, the education system’s aim is raising employees. My motivation to study all of sudden disappeared, and i wasn’t disciplened and not eager to study anymore.

But because i think so, it doesn’t mean the education system disappear too, or changed
I was still subject to the university exam.

And because that I’m not studying i got bad results.

And all of this process made feel stupid, felt like a total failure, doomed, and lazy.
But recently i began to realize (even little) I’m not none of this.

But still this is problem. I’m in paradox. i hate this actually it’s hard to maintain sanity. Education system’s purpose is growin slaves, and it seems that nobody bothers from that.
Yes I’m saying this is bad sucks, but what can I do better, my father is not rich. And if i don’t go to the a good university, still i will do labour works. Probably it will be much more worse.

This situation killing me, killing me inside. Like I’m drowning. it fucks me in every way.

#1402

What would i want, yes I would want to be in top 400 etc. But working again is like torture.

Every year same things happen, i start with hope etc then exhausted. Give up

#1403

Because of this, I’m watching life from sides. I’m not living. And i believe that one of the reason why i don’t get results from subliminals is this.

#1404

i find good books i don’t have time all for it. i need to choose wisely.

i have self worth issues, how can i have high worth if i got under my potential. With doing labour works( I’m not doing it but i will have if it goes like this)

i need purpose, to stand tall, upright, otherwise it feels empty

#1405

My head is full now, but i might take radical decisions on subliminals. i have 4 subs running now, but i might drop 3of them.

I’m running sanguine khan black and limitless(shorter than the others) but did i see anything significant, not yet. Maybe I’m not aware because I’m in it. But i might cut them and run only Hero.

And life is so boring, I’m not contend with this life.

Also i should use affirmations.
For this, i have to clear what is my problems and what do I want. Otherwise I’m doing it somedays and somedays not

#1406

i don’t understand why people see “pride” as a bad thing, as long as deserved i think it’s a good thing(at least not sin), privileged. i saw this on twitter account(christian, smart)who i follow, they treat this as a sin, and i think it comes from slave morality. I’m not saying don’t have humility or be overly-pride( delusional, no self awareness) but this understanding is disgusting

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