The current stack is making me question why I’m running it in first place.
Why do I want to become socially and sexually powerfully dominant? Is that to seek external validation to show off or brag about the next conquests? Is that to hide from some inferiority complex or to cover some past trauma?
Am I running it to feed my Ego or because I deeply want to overcome my limits/limitations? If I’m running it to overcome my limitations, then is there a better title to do that?
Why do I want to change my whole physical appearance? Lack of self-love and self-acceptance or because I want to prove something to others? Once again, isn’t it another mask for seeking the external validation which I can’t provide enough for myself right now?
Also, am I unconsciously seeking to be sexually free/liberated and probably don’t care about the whole power dynamics at all but to inflate my Ego?
If yes, then I only need to do a tabula rasa of my weaknesses and limits without going through the ST2, ST3, ST4 programming phase.
From there I can build something truly authentic and tailored to my deepest nature, which isn’t driven by egoic power dynamics.
At the end it always boil down to Freedom, satisfaction, inner and outer joy.
If not, I will keep chasing external things in order to cover something which is still lacking inside.
Money, power, women aren’t going to fix those inner things, I guess.
Another thing I would like to expose is all the contradicting thoughts, behaviors, actions and different attitudes I brought since a long time in many similar cycles.
There’s seem to be a deep cognitive dissonance still lingering in the background which then explodes from time to time in order to manifest polar opposite sides.
If not why do I fee the urge to change my stacks so many times in order to reach so many objectives in a very limited time frame?
It looks like I would benefit greatly with sticking to Total Breakdown + AoH + Alchemist:Singularity
