I’m quite late in making one of these on here. Not just this cycle but in general. Ive had some breakthroughs and results despite minimal action. I know the subs work, but it’s always my skepticism and fears keeping me from action. I’ll try and write the important things so far.
- When I started to listen to the subs, especially ROM my mind felt cool, like the inside of my head was submerged in cool water. I felt that way before with other subs but felt I should make note of it, also felt more clear mentally.
2.i had several mental breakthroughs.
Mental breakthroughs: Breakthrough of romance. I thought back to one of my exes, and again that whole setup was amazing. I didn’t even have a car and she was making a good bit more than me, but that didn’t matter. From heavy makeout sessions, to making me breakfast, ordering pizza, spankings, dinner! And she was pretty cute with a playful sassy attitude!
Though there’s one one thing that’s been living in my head for a few days. We were dancing in her kitchen while she was cooking and during a part on the song I walked up behind her and whispered in her ear " talk dirty to me" and she loved that shit. She said it was sexy asf. I don’t know why it hit me but I never thought of myself as sexy. I had few exes call me either cute or handsome, a couple girls who didn’t like me admit that at one point they thought I was cute, but still I just don’t see myself that way.
Not sure how to transition smoothly but now I’m going to start with what I thought of yesterday.
5/28 it’s the 18th of this cycle I think. I still can’t remember the listening pattern because I missed a couple of loops in exchange for rest days, didn’t plan too but oh well. Despite all this my mind feels pretty good, still had a few breakthroughs, though I took little action towards coding and meta learning. The few times I did, I definitely saw some results. I still procrastinate but a good bit less, it’s 50/50 when I see something that has to be done I’ll get up from my comfy spot and just get it over with. I procrastinate heavy when it comes when writing down my thoughts and the fear of not doing something yet because I want it perfect is still there, but at least I recognize it for what it is.
Fear of failing myself and my loved one. The fear of somehow setting myself and my loved ones back by even trying to move forward. My family has always had faith in me. Encouraging me to pursue what I want. Our circumstances held the opposite view. From giving up singing and piano, to not being able to go to learn martial arts, to having to “fail” at Catholic school so my mom would some money to spend time and help my grandma, which didn’t even work since she passed away weeks to a few months later. Each time it came down to me making the sacrifice play for my family because we couldn’t afford another option, we couldn’t afford a good life.
Not sure if that breakthrough is about mostly learning or financials.