Finding my True North

Journals - Major Programs
#452

How much of a difference do I see in myself from a year ago?
Stronger emotionally - having a sense of self, no longer chasing after people for validation
More masculine - no longer having the maturity of a child and embracing my own power
More assertive - putting people in their place finally.
More confident - been through the toughest tests and lived.
Self respect - establishing this crucial ingredient for a self fulfilling life
Have boundaries - knowing where I end and to stop being so giving of my time and energy to others. No longer a trained human listening post
More emotionally independent - I’ve let go of all my female friends who didn’t treat me with the respect I deserved

I’m crediting all of this to Khan, however PCC was the turning key point for assertiveness and Regeneration clearing the past.

Tomorrow, to celebrate, as it will be Valentine’s, what better way than to treat oneself?

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#453

That’s awesome, a very well written detailed post filled with truly emotive benefits.

Amazing @Michel. I keep always being impressed with you and your progress :slight_smile:

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#454

@Michel absolutely amazing - go for it !

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#455

This is just brilliant!!!

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#456

Mixed Messages:
Woke up with thoughts questioning conflicting beliefs I’ve remembered from childhood:

  • Don’t kick the ball in the yard/don’t ride the bike here, go to the park
  • Where were you, you must always stay in your yard!
  • You’re making to much noise
  • Why are you not talking?

Then I realised I had ST1 in my ears.

Felt good to finally address these mixed messages from way back and release them from my body.

Self care
Going back to try to revisit what I liked as a child and reclaim it as an adult. Mostly through the foods I liked (rice pudding is the shit) music and going for a skate on ice.

Speaking of which, the amount of jealous boyfriends clutching onto their girls. I’m doing nothing. I ain’t moving in on your woman, relax…

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#457

Kommander Khan Korrupt Komplete (with some Breakdown)
Day 20

A special mention to Regeneration who retired today. Regen served faithfully to treat my long-standing undiagnosed Complex PTSD symptoms for 60 days straight, with the Elixir. :clap:

A “head storm” of intense self criticism, self-hatred, obsessing over not having things, confusing instructions from the past delivered under the threat of punishing violence…
ST1 broke all of those errornous beliefs into dust with force. No more head stress in public leaving a clear path to confidence.

Was still obsessing over losing a friend, a lack of work and money for the last two weeks, but Khan gave me time to learn to live with myself. So:

  • Started learning a new language
  • Learning how to skate on ice
  • Continued to go to the gym (highly recommended).
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#458

Brother, what do you think of effectiveness of using Elixr while having a stack of Qlst1 KSt4 PCC?

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#459

I wonder, doesn’t the management you are working for have an exact protocol how to handle situations like this (in accordance with the CI)? Just a general question because I was wondering about this recently.

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#460

Haha relatable. They asked me why I wasn’t laughing, next day I laughed then they told me to leave the class room :joy:

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#461

You’re getting distracted again. Stay on course.

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#462

@anon3072973 the bars have on-call heavies if anything serious kicks off, but it’s fairly light touch, as those drunks often spend thousands each. I’ve been at 5-star venues when two brutes have punched each other out. Personally I don’t worry about myself (Kommander Khan takes care of that).

Parents/teachers/society don’t realise the contradictory messages they send out. They’re ultimately frustrated over their own lives and you just happened to catch a case from them.

Within the brutal narcissistic family regime, any breaking of the changing “rules” is met with violence and pain, so no wonder I felt traumatised as fuck.

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#463

Which language is this? :slight_smile:

I’m on my 6th language now. So, I am officially a hyper-polyglot :smile:

I love learning, improving, progressing, and also languages.

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#464

@AMASH Six languages, tabarnak…

It took me 10 years to get to conversational French using the new methods… Hopefully Italian is more straightforward.

I identify with polyglot Karl Lagerfeld when he said “I don’t speak any language correctly” including his native. Luckily any foreigner who takes the time to learn Italian is treated warmly by its citizens. An experience I never received with either French or Dutch.

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#465

I agree 100%. I have an accent now in my native language.

But not too heavy, just a cool worldly accent :sunglasses:

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#466

Same here. I don’t speak my native language in quite the same way anymore. More internal categories reframing everything.

Sometimes I’ll look at a very simple word ‘is’, ‘bird’, and so on, and feel like, ‘hmm…that’s odd’.

Very much looking forward to learning more.

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#467

@AMASH is one of the most precise people I have spoken to :’)

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#468

Kommander Khan Korrupt Komplete (with some Breakdown)
Day 22

Committing to ST1 for two months, like Regeneration. Despite turning down the dominance, Khan is getting me friendlier and with more charm going to and at work.

I noticed at least two people trying to bombard me with their word diarrhea and feeling an automatic desire to swerve away from their obvious manipulation. Both female coworkers tried to get me feeling sorry for them with a long list of their problems (they can’t pay their rent, their family members ill…) PCC had me changing the subject quickly and easily.

As an experiment, I stepped into the role of “deputy” team leader, facing the gauntlet of customer complaints when things inevitably went wrong (no food left, beer taps not working, no cups left…) luckily very little anger was directed at me because I was honest and direct. The actual team leader profusely thanked me for stepping in like that.

The interesting thing was I had confronted the stand managers afterwards about the complete clusterfuck that unfolded. Surprisingly they admitted to all the staff that they couldn’t do much about it either. It felt good to actually get on their case and having them explain themselves for once.

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#469

So you are running both St1 and ST4?

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#470

Yep, It’s a two step process:

  1. Calming the fuck down
  2. Questioning bullshit

In other words, manage and cure lingering PTSD trauma, then rewriting the “inner critic”. First part was Regeneration, second is ST1.
Result is ST1 feels smooth rather than soul crushing.

cool, I can play all khan stages together!!!!

NOPE!
Before anyone takes this to mean newbies can too play ST1 and ST4 together:

  1. Get a base program first (Ascension/Regen)
  2. 30 days each Khan stage on their own still applies for the best results
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#471

Yes, I can really really relate! :smile:

The differences between languages just exposed to me so many assumptions I took for granted!

Thank you my cool friend. I appreciate your kind words very much :slight_smile:

I remember @Michel that you mentioned plans last year to move to another place.

Did that go through? Or maybe your desires and plans changed through Subliminal usage?

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