Finding my True North

@Michel i can relate allot to what you talk in your journal. To help speed up the process of clearing and regeneration in the occult philosophy the magician must attain first a constant state of " no mind" only then can he start is journey of the invisible world and his own powers.

My suggestion is a tape on youtube called " Barry Long - How to stop thinking " if you just listen to this tape and practice active listening it will help you in ways you cant imagine, specially releasing and absorving subs way better.

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@elme that’s it! Clear the mind, then magic can spring forth.

Reconciliation like a bitch
A friendly reminder that SubClub subs are extremely powerful and to listen to a new (or returning) sub with caution. Two loops may even be too much, might even make somebody bed ridden for two days due to a bad cough and headaches…
It’s also the time where family members would like to take advantage and to keep me dependent on them by offering the solution. I refused point blank. Remember [Law 40]

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Thats it my friend @Michel , slaying the parasite of your lower mind, so the subconscious can be conscious. If you ever come to Europe we can scan your brain so you see the different frequencies of each state.Only then are we truely ourselvs, when we make the Mind our obedient servant.

I dont think its healthy for you to take all these laws into account every single day of your life. Sometimes ppl are beeing genuine giving their help. Its a matter of calibration, i learned that when i was doing sex Mastery.

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Very interesting. This would be a major head start for people getting into spirituality and meditation. Thank you, @Elme

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I have regeneration but haven’t really used it to be honest. I’ve been running mainly Emperor and Quantum Limitless, I feel like adding in regeneration would be overkill for me at this point in time. I’m thinking of running regeneration for a few months in 2020, yet I’m not sure. 2019 for me was mainly a year of dissolving trauma, I’m not sure if I would benefit that much from regeneration in 2020. Sure, I still have some trauma deep inside of me but it is not holding me back of manifesting my desires. I do want to clear this out at some point, so that leaves me to one question. When would be the appropriate time?

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You’ll never heal all trauma, nor do you want to. It just needs to get out of the way enough to progress. Personally this was the reason Khan didn’t work as advertised.

Healing isn’t “sexy” and there’s some shame attached to it. But the end of the tunnel is worth it.

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Very interesting.

I am reading up about Barry Long. Seems like a guy I should follow from 2020.

Here’s a passage from his writings which Neville Goddard followers will find familiar.

http://www.barrylong.org/god.shtml

There is only one I in the universe. And it is in the body reading these words.

I, the enlightened state of consciousness in man, am God. I am God being-man. The man I am is certainly not God. The God I am is nothing to anything in existence. And this nothing, or I, manifests through the senses to be what I am not, an appearance. Although I am not that, I appear to be that to my self and any self.

So it is said, or I say in the enlightened man down through the ages, ‘I am what I am.’ The people who see my appearance say, ‘You are this or that.’ But I say, ‘No, I am neither this nor that. I am nothing in everything.

Be still and know that I am God.’

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Sounds like a book I read in the past:

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Finding my nuts:
Went to my second work and shit, where did these assholes come from? Young female managers acting the little dictator.

Today with reconciliation headache and tablets I was in no mood to play around. Young female boss saw me exhausted at the till and tried to crack the whip.

Then, Ascension kicks in

I said I needed 5 minutes to clear my head from dealing with all those customers. She tried to replace me with someone else - I wasn’t moving, I said (once again) that I needed 5 minutes to clear my head (whilst getting slightly pissed).

I then gave this neck snapping, finger clicking little upstart no further attention and carried on, and guess what? … YEP, She eventually gave out IOIs….

Sigh… Why is it my job to put these out of pocket young women back in their box, dammit?

Deez nuts? There they are, in between my legs.

Changes in thinking and behaviour: for @Hermit

  • I CAN STAND UP FOR MYSELF FINALLY
  • I don’t like some people.
  • I am allowed to dislike people
  • I can disdain someones behaviour
  • Some people’s behaviour is repulsive, I find it repulsive and I stand by it.
  • Surprise, once you stand firm to these female dictators they get wet…
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Ascension - for when you want to slap a mufugga. Here’s to more unsuspecting people getting the backhand.

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Ibuprofen haze:
This is the worst period of reconciliation I’ve ever experienced on Subliminal Club products. Headaches, nausea, vomiting, shivers, fever etc… I’m barely opening my eyes. Dark room wrapped up in blankets.

Getting the hate now.
Like clockwork.
Just like on Khan ST2.
Difference is I don’t give a shit.

Ascension is for me to feel like a solid, confident man. What others want to throw out due to their own shit is their problem.

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Ascension
Week 2

Reconciliation reminiscence:
Feeling sorry for myself, having this reconciliation episode. Sore throat, sore muscles, coughing, migraine like headache, the business. Feeling confused, upset, useless.

There are good things happening too - real, independent self esteem, new career, new life cycle etc. but being bedridden is reflecting on all of my losses in life - lost childhood, lost adulthood, friends who moved on, women…

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@Michel Plow through my brother! You will come out stronger on the other side.

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@KingR thanks man

Healing (Regen Elixir)
Building (Ascension)
Protecting (Power Can Corrupt)

Regeneration and Elixir have been so effective in applying healing balm to most of my flashback traumas that I’m starting to miss having them. The latest trauma shifted must have been from when I was around 7 years old.
I’m also regretting not dealing with past trauma sooner in order to have a longer, more peaceful life. Never mind.

it’s never too late to be the person you were always meant to be. - George Eliot

Ascension helps with the “haters”, meaning they can no longer trigger shame and self-hatred in me, remaining in my powerful frame for longer. I notice women wanting to get closer, but I’m so protective of my new self I’m not letting in anybody. Holding back the good stuff for myself only!

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Week 2 highlights

I cannot praise Regeneration and the Elixir enough. Most of the shame flashbacks have been healed, feeling at peace, full of self love and respect. There’s nothing better than attending to my own needs without self criticism, shame and guilt, I just do it.

Now times were rough on Ascension but it’s getting better, have a bit more self respect. There’s one longtime good friend I’ve been texting happy holidays who never responded to my messages, which kinda hurt. But now, I feel strong enough to go my own way. It sucks, but my self respect is building and it needs addressing.

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Key revelations:

  • No one cares about me as much as I do them. Be smart about that.
  • Stop extending yourself to people who couldn’t give two shits.
  • If somebody doesn’t want me in their life, let them go…
  • I deserve better

Sitting with the pain:
Sitting in the café wondering and sitting with the pain of abandonment and rejection and keeping it together. Then wondering what was it about me that accepted this lower status of occasional breadcrumbs from women. The answer was (whilst in past trauma) I felt that breadcrumbs was all I deserved from others for a long time. Now, because I can sit and enjoy my own company without needing another, I had to take a look at this friendship - I was the one going to her most of the time, I was the one messaging her etc. How balanced is it? Do I deserve more? Do I dare attend to myself first? Is it actually time to say “fuck you all”?

It isn’t fair, but it gets lighter the more I sit with it. Dare I even forget about it?

An Ascension story
Even if I have to stand alone, in my pain, I will claim my spot on planet earth and my right to exist.
Walking, mostly stepping aside. A few running for their lives scared of my presence. Can’t control that.
Try-hards trying to out alpha me and failing.
Ignoring accusatory people who project their ugliness onto me.
Accepting that others don’t like me and reaffirming my right to exist.

I don’t know what the future holds, don’t know which direction I want to go, but for now, being alone is freeing as I can do whatever I want with my time and not having to cater to the fickle whims of others.

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Keep going my friend, when i am in a bad week i always come here to inspire myself on your journey. Since we are in the same boat, although different sub programs i can find truth and meaning in your findings.
Since i started this journey i found out that most people are just pretenders, they are so weak internally that they need to over compensate with shitty behaviours or attitudes. I always remember my kickboxing master telling me you can see how dangerous a man is by his walk, and its not the " gangster walk" most weak man do to over compensate fear in Guetto enviroments.

Standing up for yourself, not taking shit from anybody, beeing your own saviour and most liberating and hurtfull at the same time…beeing your own father. Try see if this last sentence relates to you.
I used to blame my shitty life on all the bad things that happened in my childhood, not taking action, beeing a doormat but then i realize i am responsible for everything and even if i die trying at least ill take them with me.

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@Elme I had to read your post several times because it was full of truth.

No more fairytales:
Being empathetic, I believed everybody else is exactly the same as me - caring, attentive, considerate… except they’re not. Then you discover most people don’t actually care about you.
It’s taken me longer than it should to adjust to the fact that most people just don’t give a shit.
I also had to learn not to clean up after others too. Taking responsibility for things that were never mine is a tough habit to break, when you’re trained to be the family “blame guy” and mommy’s little marriage counsellor.
These are all childhood beliefs I was trained in that made me a bullies target, a work bitch and an emotional tampon to others. Thank God for PCC telling me the raw truth.

Being my own father:
That hit home hard. I also didn’t have a father that could be bothered to raise his own kids, so learning to be my own father is also important. Doing things, going places, pursuing things that interest me - TAKING ACTION - is the learning skills challenge of a lifetime. I’ve got Ascension to thank for helping me discover myself, taking action and reinforcing my basic needs in order to stop serving others and start serving myself.
It’s just over a week with Ascension v2 and @Elme you’re correct - all it takes is a little internal strength. Just standing strong in my own power is enough for others to want to run away like pussies.

In the end, it’s just building basic core self esteem - the type I never had before.

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Ascension (two weeks)
Regeneration (one month)

Ascension is slowly working the good stuff on me. Now I have a calm confidence which feels normal. Regeneration, Elixir are also removing blocks which means Ascension can work unimpeded.

Ascension is giving me hope for the future - despite the lingering emotional pain and the wounds, it’s is making each day a little brighter.

With family of origin abuse, once I’ve been conditioned to it, I then attract it from others. Once I expect very little from life, that’s exactly what I attract. But with Ascension, the vibe is very different from others - even some attraction. But the main thing is having self respect.

Added Rebirth to help with the pain release as well as that 174hz video @Hermit posted. (Re) learning self respect and learning that I do deserve to be here.

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174 Hz – Relieves Pain and Stress : This frequency reduces pain and gives your organs a sense of security, safety and love. It heals your physical and emotional aura. at the present.

417 Hz – Undoing Situations and Facilitating Change : Solfeggio 417 Hz frequency energizes your body and brings change. This frequency clears destructive influences of past. Tone RE encourages the cell and its functions in an optimal way and also facilitates changes.

  • Benefits of 417Hz Solfeggio Frequency
    ✓ Remove Negative Energy from the Body
    ✓ Remove Negative Energy from the Home and Office
    ✓ Remove Negative Thoughts and Behavior Patterns
    ✓ Undo Situations with Negative Outcome
    ✓ Facilitate Change in you and others
    ✓ To Come out of Trauma

So I would recommend using 471hz more often when using Regeneration & Rebirth, while using 174hz when something emotional comes up at present and you would like to clear it.

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