Finding My Foundation

[Michel]

@Michel

Surprisingly non reactive to criticism too - before it would have sent me into a hard tailspin, but now I immediately dismiss it. Not every criticism is in good faith, not every opinion deserves to be taken seriously. As long as I know what I’m doing (Genesis is helping here) that’s all that matters.

That’s the Ascension bloom. Hello new self:

Sovereign
Helps you build complete independence from external validation through the construction of an internal floor beneath your self-worth that no outside opinion can shift.

About time.

Untouchable
… the uninvited noise, the casual negativity, the projections of those struggling with their own weight — these no longer stick. Your peace is no longer hostage to the moods and opinions of people who have not earned a seat at the table of your self-regard

Will test this one with the art group, but in daily life, I hand it all back. Your projections are not my problem to carry.

[Michel]

Loving the much different vibe from this stack.

I remember where I was two years ago, someone who struggled to escape a controlling relationship, absorbed so much negativity whilst thinking I was a grown up and it’s the best thing ever. And yet every fibre of my being was telling me to get out.

Now, I see how far I’ve come - I go on solo trips, do long walks, meditate and build a healing hustle. These are the things I like doing and yet they were always a part of me, now spotlighted by Genesis. I built the foundation, now I go and furnish the flat.

I go and talk to a few people whilst out and it goes very well, since I don’t really care, my vibe attracts the right people to me - women included. Quick sit downs with random women, who pick a seat beside me, say nothing and leave.

Just realised I’ve watched a lot of reels that also make me laugh a lot - social commentary with tons of vulgarity. I find it funny and tasteless but I make no apology and give no fucks for it. (thanks, Genesis: Joy)

[Michel]

Some more DreamBoi results:

In the health store, I wanted to buy something for my persistent inner issues, a young woman with “murder nails” looked a little flustered whilst trying to have a mini conversation. So I tried some innuendo instead - does she have anything that will fit… That seemed to work…

A few women are manifesting where I could tell they would be a great fit personally. Since Genesis Joy, I have a lack of “making things work”, since there’s this inner pressure to. Whether it does, I still have a sense of “fun” anyway.

[Michel]

Finally caught a couple of negative beliefs I was automatically thinking about when walk meditating, it’s the usual thoughts of being worthless, in the way, unloved and detested. Often I imagine I am hated in public (which is rarely true but it is a belief)

So I wrote them down, as much as I could dig out and released them all - I don’t know how to love myself, I need to help others with their problems, I’m a good for nothing, lazy… I hear the voice of my father when reading them back and surprisingly I imagine him suffering from the same type of low self esteem too and his ancestors.

Now I can feel the void where those automatic thoughts were and feel immense relief. Going to stick to my stack for the time being while I figure out what to do next, now that I’m not fighting ancestral pain.