Right here we go…
Following a great, deep healing session offline where I chronicle my insatiable need for permission from others to exist and act that has been cleared up so much that I feel that don’t need Genesis anymore. The mechanism for Genesis was to break up the fog of asking others to be and I feel that has been completed. I cried some in that session, realising that I have others so much power to run and ruin my life and I felt powerless to do anything. But it is truly over.
That leaves Ascension ST2 to do its fantastic job of instilling confidence and drive. I have that clear headed sense of presence and right to exist, now the next step is to take that freedom and go make hay, money or whatever. Ascension is the shit.
Another great immediate side effect is that my aura isn’t asking for others permission, so I radiate better and stronger, I can see it in the mirror, no fidgeting, true expression, not that stilted, on guard, “do they like me?” stance. Clearer, settled, “masculine” (if you call it that), poised but relaxed.
With DreamBoi floating within that aura… well my worry of “does she like me?” and the shame of being a sexual man disappears too. A woman today on the train chose to sit opposite me and made her sexual moves quite blatant. She did the work of flirting, I sat back enjoying the show, giving a wry smile. We could have fucked on the train and both of us wouldn’t have minded one bit.
But that’s mostly secondary to the real prize - I have my soul back. It’s in my body, no permission needed to act, take space or exist.
