“It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.” -Thomas Paine
I wanted to jump in to the cool custom sub naming because I feel like having strong symbolism for something is like an anchor for the subconscious and helps solidify a goal more. So my custom will be named Fidelity.
Anyway this custom is about taking who I am and building that up. Not doing a complete 180 and trying to transform myself into a completely different individual. It’s about recognizing my strengths and my weaknesses, but above all understanding as an individual the only things I need to change or improve are the things that directly contribute to my own happiness. I gave it a lot of thought and it is a bit broad in its scope, but I plan to run it for the long term. I determined that a lot of the stuff I wanted to improve all had some interconnections between them. Breaking it up into stages or separate subs just didn’t feel right to me. So this custom is basically an expression of my internal vision of what I feel is right for me. Not too grand in its scale, but at the same time it will be a challenge and push me to grow. But it’s growth I’ll be aligned with. So I’ll outline it a bit to show my thought process for the module selection.
Ultimate Artist Q Core
Ascended Mogul Q Core
Negative Energy Transmutation
Joie de Virve
The Merger Of Worlds
Ultimate Music Producer
So first off is the main cores. Self explanatory. Ultimate Artist Q because I’ve always ran that and it’s my most important goal for me. Ascended Mogul to help me financially and navigating the world in a way where it doesn’t feel like I’m at the mercy of it and scrambling to keep myself afloat. But also not just ending up in some job where it’s “safe” and I make enough money but my power and autonomy over my own life seems gone. And also really building up my foundation for myself so I’m strong.
Support modules. First we have for healing Blue Skies. I decided this time around only one healing/aura/energy one. I’m sure Blue Skies is more than enough and I’ve appreciated this module. Negative energy transmutation, invaluable. I’ve already established in my life that I am unconsciously effected by negative energy. Anything that eliminates the outside messing with my inside is a great asset. Inner voice because I realized my internal dialogue with myself is terrible. And even if I do all the healing in the world if that part keeps tearing me down I won’t grow. So the focus this time around was to heal, but have backup to support me that wouldn’t cost more energy or put me too deep in reconciliation.
Result enhancers. Joie de Virve, such a simple thing but very important to impress this on the subconscious. It’s easy to lose sight of what life should really be about at times. Current invoker, I’ve always enjoyed this one so kept it. Riding the waves of reality is highly appealing to me. Omnidimensional, just general sub enhancement. Unlimiter, this one is self explanatory but it’s always good to question all self imposed limitations. Merger of Worlds, having a stronger bridge to the subconscious and conscious is so important. This one is essential to me, it’s the difference between feeling like you’re battling with the subconscious vs understanding on an intuitive level.
Core enhancers. Ultimate Music Producer, this one is a given and I’ve enjoyed it immensely with my other custom I built. Rogue, I’ve felt this one and not giving a shit is such a powerful thing. When you start acting in ways that might cause offense because you stop caring it teaches you a lot about how people pleasing behavior works. Sexiness unbound, this one is for the sexual hangups mostly and general acceptance of my own sexuality to become more comfortable in it. Temptation, this one I put in here because honestly I just want it. I want to experience it and i want to enjoy it. Maybe there’s a little validation in there but fuck it I’m human.
I think my mistake with my first custom was I built it like “this is it, the end all be all”. So I threw in too much. I don’t know how long I’ll be on this one, but once I grow from it I’m sure I’ll be building another custom to reach even higher with my goals. But as of right now setting attainable ones and every time I run the sub I FEEL it’s possible is the most important thing for me right now.
I have a good feeling about this one.