EVERYTHING FROM LIFE (a Khan + Limit Destroyer + Limitless Executive journal)

Journals - Major Programs
#142

summary - part 2 :

I then switched back to Kst2 + LB4H as I felt I lacked acceptance and self love.

below is the summary of the results obtained from the only cycle done until January 20th :

legend:
[+] is for positive results,
[-] for negative results,
[/] is for neutral results, and finally
[±] is for half positive and negative results

[±] Wish I had more inner power to get the girls I want. Then disappeared at the end of the cycle.

[+] Desire to learn how to approach girls

[+] for a moment, willingness to change for the better with women.

[+] thoughts on how to use my art skills to make money.

[-] results have started to recede. Too much exposure to subs?

[+] More desire to express myself (on social media and in real life).

[+] started accepting me for who I am, a loser but willingness to want to improve myself. I have also accepted that people must appreciate me as I am and I will do nothing to hide who I really am or to distort the image I give (Vulnerability).

[+] my walk changed.

[±] Doubts about myself and who I am, and searching for an answer.

[/] resentment towards the past for not having been better, like my peers and for lost opportunities.

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#143

summary - part 3 :

Having noticed that I still had many internal problems in general I decided to expand the Kst1 by replacing it with the 4 stages of DR + LB4H.

Below are summaries of what I’ve listened to and the results up to date:

SUMMARY: DR ST1 + LB4H

[-] I still can’t accept that someone can love me.

[+] I’m perhaps more accepting of showing myself for who I really am without filters. I am increasingly congruent and vulnerable with who I am, even at the price of not being liked by others.

[+] Negative thoughts about a past crush have largely subsided. I don’t happen to think about her anymore lately or look her up on instagram like I used to.

[+] I’ve become clearer about what I want to do in the future of my life.

[±] I realized that I’m creating a subconscious shell for myself to not hit on women anymore, to not be hurt by girls anymore. This still persists.

[-] I’m afraid to flirt with girls because I’m convinced they don’t like me and they will definitely say “no”.

[+] I had an awakening of conscience. I realized that I’m not chasing what I really want.

And more…

SUMMARY: DR ST2 + LB4H

(Week 1)

[-] General problems.
Problems connecting emotionally with others, lack of ability to be vulnerable and expose myself, emotional blocks that keep me from acting.

[-] lack of self-acceptance.

[-] lack of trust in others.

[-] manifestation of residual negative energy in the body caused by spring.

[+] Started therapy

[+] distancing from toxic people (especially toxic women).

[+] questioning past fears and whether they were worth continuing to hold on to.

[/] many symbolic dreams.

[/] change of romantic properties: priority to just wanting sex.

[+] rediscovery of my sexual value (thanks to a girl)

[+] completely at ease in a social context.

(Week 2)

[/] highlighted the desire for sex only. Relationships are too much for me right now.

[-] re-manifestation of the negative patterns of desire for acceptance with a girl I met which previously occurred with my last crush.

[+] Awareness that I have sexual blocks, which don’t make me sexual with women and don’t allow me to touch them.

[/] desire for sexual abundance

[+] Awareness that the relationship with my father was dysfunctional.

[+] Desire to bond with others (especially women)

[-] Anger towards women.

[+] Synchronisms. Numbers and findings of significant videos I have losted.

(Week 3)

[-] Interest from a beautiful girl but fear and blocks to go to her.

[+] More openness with my father.

[±] More upfront and honest about what I think and how I feel, with others, but still struggle with women.

[+] Obsession with finding a way to emotionally unblock and be able to live life freely in general and with women.

(Washout Period)

[-] Emotional blocks with a group of girls who tried to talk to me ([+] Interest from girls)

[/] Awareness that I would only like to be considered by someone (feeling alone).

**[+] Discovery of ways to free myself from negative emotions (emotional release meditations).

that’s all for now.
At the next cycle (DR st3 + LB4H, to which I also added PS for a small side of seduction.)

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#144

I haven’t updated the thread in a while. The following are a few updates to date.

#145

Beginning: March 13, 2023

SUMMARY: LB4H + DR st3 + PS

(Preface: I added PS to that day, but I don’t remember exactly why. Maybe I wanted a pinch of romance in my stack)

(Week 1)

[+] Desire to look my best after just one listen to PS

[-] Fears and doubts with women have surfaced.

[+] I had intense eye contact with a blonde girl, maybe due to my sexual state caused by PS (?)

[+] The sensations given by girls have given me back the desire to socialize with them after long time I felt off.

[+ -] Sex drive increased but then dropped the next day.

[+] Strong carnal desire and desire to touch women.

[-] Feeling of shame for my sex drive.

[+] Obsessive drive to learn how to seduce women.

(Week 2)

[±] I just think about how to pick up women.

[-] I feel hopeless with women

(The diary stops here…)

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#146

Beginning: April 5, 2023

SUMMARY: PS + Daredevil

(Preface: stack switch. I finished running all DR stages and wanted to start with something more proactive, so I kept PS and added DD to support me in the social context)

Week 1

  • Sex dreams.

  • I realized that I have to love and accept myself in order to have better relationships.

  • I constantly think about women and act with intuition.
    I wrote a “vulnerable” message to a girl on Instagram.
    The stack pushes me to be authentic and to rediscover my sexual and personal worth.

Week 2

  • I feel more sociable and my mental anxieties have decreased.

  • I realized that my insecurity with women is influenced by my mother’s unrealistic expectations and I often tell myself that I’m not good enough for them.

  • I have found that my subconscious sabotages me when it comes to interacting with women, due to self-sabotage. I feel less worthy of some women that I see above my self, while I feel more comfortable with others who I see as my equals.

Week 3

(I haven’t reported anything in the diary this week.)

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#147

Beginning: May 3, 2023

SUMMARY: DR st4

(premise: after the previous stack I thought I needed more in-depth healing, so, knowing that I had already run previous DR stages, I opted for DR st4 solo)

Week 1

• Desire to want to break down societal limitations, find a flaw in the system, and be different from classic beliefs. I want to have power among men and deserve more.

Week 2

• I suffer from fear of abandonment based on past experiences.
• I think I’m not enough because of episodes where I’ve been ignored.
• I regret the years lost in the past.
• My mind urges me to take a step forward.
• I would like to delete the people I currently know and start from scratch, they intoxicate me.
• I feel I deserve more, but I’m afraid to act sometimes.
• I want to challenge society’s beliefs about relationships.
• The redpill theory makes me depressed in love field. I wish to free myself from this toxicity and enjoy relationships without negative thoughts.

Week 3

• I gave myself permission to be daring with women I previously thought were out of my league.
• My happiness comes from taking action and overcoming fears.
• I understood that there is no right way, the important thing is to act instead of getting stuck in uncertainty.

Washout period

• I am lethargic and, sad because of failure and lack of action.
• My subconscious tries to distract me with distractions at home and not do the meditations.
• I’m desperate for approval from women.
• I want someone special who makes me feel wanted and loved.
• Awareness that as a child I isolated myself and did not feel part of the group.
• I recognize that I still have many inner problems.
• A old crush still makes me feel something.
• I feel depressed and have negative emotions.
• I feel limited and not independent.
• I feel insecure and can’t talk with a girl I like. I want to learn how to attract women like her.

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#148

That’s a very lengthy and introspective update. You are definitely taking big steps towards a new and better life. What strikes me and I bet DR has done a lot for you, is that your awareness of what is actually stopping you from having the success you desire in life has grown a lot!

Also I can feel from what you wrote that you are less attached to these forks in the road, and that is a great sign. Then it becomes more like you see it, but you don’t twist and turn it over and over again and dwelling in it, but instead you realize that you created it and it’s time to let go of it now :slightly_smiling_face:

Keep the consistency up :ok_hand:

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#149

Thanks for your feedback and observations.

I’ll update the diary with more summaries in a few hours.

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#150

Beginning May 24, 2023

SUMMARY: DR st4 + Wanted

(Premice: the goal of the stack is to heal from past trauma and related to how I think about myself and in relationships with women, with DR. Whereas with Wanted the goal is again to heal from anything romantic and sexual that is limiting me and to have romantic and sexual experiences with women.)

Week 1

• I no longer feel thoughts of need towards my ex crush, just annoyance.
• More desire toward women.
• Thoughts on the idea of ​​vulnerability in communicating with women.
• I plucked up my courage and talked to a girl at the gym, but I still have an overly needy, attention-seeking behavior.
• Still much neediness and approval seeking with beautiful women.
• Human contact no longer amuses me, don’t know why.
• I feel dissatisfied with my life, I want more.
• I’ve redefined what success is, from the classic “having money, women and a great job” to “being successful means to have success in what you want”.
• I want to deepen my experiences with women, which is currently poor and lacks nuance.
• I still feel extremely shy and insecure around women
• Meditation made me realize that I still feel I don’t deserve the girls I like and I don’t feel up to them.

Week 2

• I am afraid of failing.
• On one hand I have a strong desire for women, but on the other hand I feel that I can’t do it because of how bad I feel about myself.
• Desire to be able to create intense sexual desire in women toward me.
• I realized that I use defense mechanisms such as a pissed-off attitude to cover up the fact that I am fearful around the girls.
• I recognize that I feel comfortable with girls who I consider to be enough for me, while I can’t be myself with those who I feel are too good for me.
• A girl who looks unapproachable from the gym smiled at me.
• I realized that I idealize beautiful women in my mind, feeling inferior to them, but they are human beings like me.
• Increased thinking about seduction.
• I often tell myself that I will get beautiful girls one day but I keep it just an illusion, because I never take consistent action.
• Desire to learn more about women’s dynamics.
• Greater ease in relating to others.
• Desire for power to influence those around me. And annoyance from girls who have nothing else to offer besides a beautiful body.
• Awareness that I no longer enjoy things as I did when I was a kid, perhaps due to past negative experiences in life.
• Intuition to “trust my thoughts”, which I didn’t usually do and a desire to improve the way I use my mind to reason
• Reduction of the feeling of neediness and increased desire for women.

Week 3

• Desire to use my brain better in things.
• Feeling of insecurity and helplessness in life
• Growth of ambition and desire for greatness
• Recon, feeling helpless and wanting to switch stack because I don’t feel good enough for it
• Still strong desire to seek out women, and desire for greater intellect.
• I feel scared at the thought of social events, but I remember that in these places, there are girls I would like
• Dissatisfaction and sadness inside. Desire for greatness, to make money, to find women and to succeed in what I want.
• I’ve discovered my pattern of victimizing myself and saying I’m the one who sucks the most. The truth is that we all have difficulties, I’m not the only one.
• I realized that having not received positive reactions from girls in the past, this has ruined my self-image with women and made me lose confidence in my sexual abilities.
• I felt a strong sense of sexuality and security at the end of the cycle.

Washout period

• Despite having graduated I feel dissatisfied, because I feel that I still don’t have what I want.
• I’ve had an emotional relapse where I feel depressed and a failure.
• I realized that most of my problems with women are due to my poor self-image, which makes me feel inferior to them, rejected and not accepted.
• I feel afraid to communicate with others and I just want to withdraw into myself.

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#151

Beginning June 15, 2023

SUMMARY: WANTED + Genesis + Paragon

(Premice: The goal of the stack remains the same for Wanted, ie: to heal from anything romantic and sexual that is limiting me and to have romantic and sexual experiences with women.

Instead with Genesis the aim is to find a life goal to pursue, because I’m lost and I don’t know what to do with my existence. And then help me create an income in some way.

Finally I chose Paragon ij this cycle instead of DR as I feel I have to pay attention to my health and especially my gut which is bothering me.)

Week 1

• WANTED pushes me to reshape my reality, looking for possible objective clues in the context of dynamics with women.
Genesis keeps me thinking about whether I should get a job and has given me some ideas.
• I feel lost and I don’t know what to do with my life.
• Video games, series and movies have become a waste of time unless I do something productive first.
• I clarified what is the goal I want to achieve with women, because before it was uncertain (to be able to approach them and lead to something I want).
• Desire to drop the seduction theory and go out and act with women.
• Awareness of having a mentality of distrust and anti-friendliness towards people I don’t know.
• I realized that one of my fears with women is the fear of showing my interest in them. I understood that vulnerability is the only way and I built an action plan to start acting outside and inside my house.
• After Paragon my contracted back began to hurt (or it is cream’s fault?)
• I saw an example of vulnerability on tik tok from a girl who taught me that being authentic is normal and possible.
• I realized that I see a girl A too much for me and I can’t be comfortable with her, for fear of rejection due to perceived value. Vice versa with girl B, that I see her at my level.
• I feel sociable and at ease. I started a conversation at the gym which then randomly involved other people, forming a conversation group.
• I’ve been approached by people at the gym who complimented me on how I performed the exercises.

Cycle in progress.
Updates coming soon…

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#152

Week 2

• I continue to live in the torment of not knowing what to do as a job.
• Continual flashbacks and manifestations of a social media character inviting to follow our dreams and improve ourselves.
• After a month of not going out, I realized that nothing has changed in me on a social level and with women. And I realized that feeling tired is my defense mechanism to escape social situations.
• Feeling of not being good enough for pretty girls.
• Higher audio volume when listening seems to give more reactions to my mind.
• I have created a list of vulnerable actions to take with women and, who grow up in difficulty. I noticed rapt looks from some girls. On the other hand, the most beautiful, ignored me completely.
• Insecurity and self-doubt. I have problems with my self-image.
• Desire for beautiful girls, but I don’t feel I can get them.
• Anxiety when I go out in the evening.
• I stopped masturbating (30 day goal) to feel better and have energy and desire with women.
• Lots of desire to go out and flirt with girls.
• I remember that I’ve always been last in everything in life, and that I would like to be the first now.
• I realized that I keep putting off hitting on girls I know for fear of burn out a chance with them.
• 15 Minute Paragon Experiment: Stinging in my sick physical areas.
• Desire to live up to the beautiful girls I want and to feel good about myself.
I have a fear of working and being stuck for life in a job I hate.
• I’ve noticed that I have a strong victim mentality that doesn’t make me act.
• Paragon gave me the impetus to look for doctors who can treat me and to call the hospital.
• Had a symbolic dream that demonstrates my emotional difficulty in showing my romantic feelings, after listening to Genesis + WANTED.
• Anger and frustration with people who have ignored me in the past.
• Manifestation of an old graphic designer business card I made for joke in the past, right now that I need work and a path to follow in life.
• I dream about the shame I feel about my sexuality and about showing it.
• Awareness that I try to achieve with, over-actions and social masks, with women, to compensate for what I don’t think I am.
• Anger towards women who only have a body to show. I see them as empty shells.
• Awareness that I have negative expectations with beautiful women, which self-sabotage me. While positive expectations with less beautiful women, which make me be myself.
• Genesis focuses my attention on job hunting and making money.
WANTED makes me think a lot about women, I’ve noticed a few looks from women and a lot of internal processing about my issues with women and sexuality.

Cycle in progress.
Updates coming soon…

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