Eternal Void - an Invictus journal

[Invictus]

Been on this for a few days now, and gotta say, it feels much better to be back to running less cores in a custom (this one has 3 + AsC core).

Results so far (since 15/01):

• extreme levels of productivity, and this week alone, I’ve done more each day than I’ve done in the last 1-2 months before it.

• much more self control over habits such as building new customs and overspending on meaningless things.

• much more sexually dominant (I fucked my girl out in the open, next to my car), while also getting glazed looks by chicks even when I’m out in my pajama .

• got my “magic finger” effect back, in fact, I have a video on my phone from a couple days ago, where just a touch of my finger on my girl’s thighs was making her go crazy

• lifting wise, not only is my strength back to its peak, but my workouts are actually doing more for me now compared to before, and this time I’m tracking the data, as well as measurements of my body, and so far, my chest, arms and legs have increased in size at an almost “instantaneous” level.

• internally, I feel like a king 24/7, while my external behavior comes off as a social playboy.

• lastly, manifestations are back in overdrive mode that’s all I wanna say there

Now this custom isn’t new, I built it a while back, but never really used it for more than a loop, simply because the first time I used it, it ended up manifesting 10K for me, with which I ended up buying Symbiote just to test, and went down my rabbit hole haha, but that’s also why I never shared it.

As for what it is, I think I’ll just say that the cores are Khan Stark EF4 and AsC, which if you don’t realize yet, I’ve been on khan stark since late October, and now I’m just more hyper focused on that archetype combo

Honestly, more cores aren’t really a good idea, because even though I can handle them (I even had a 7 cores custom at one point), the biggest issue with them is that it takes longer to fully manifest everything in the custom, while as this one feels instant with everything, hence my decision to not run the big experimental customs anymore.

[Invictus]

so much untapped power and potential.
I feel like I have so much more to gain from Khan Stark, that everything I’m feeling internally, and manifesting externally, is just the tip of the iceberg

I wanted to post this yesterday (as these are from yesterday):

• Complete disregard to social norms regarding how I should be presenting myself, if any of y’all saw how I was dressed yesterday at a mall, you’d think that I was going to perform at a concert right after safe to say, yesterday was the day I had the most eyes on me ever since starting subs.

• my overspending habits have completely disappeared, and that came with a lot of reconfiguration to my beliefs and habits, and as many of you might know that this was the biggest issue that I wanted to heal, it seems like the inner power and the high-value feeling of Khan finally helped me get over it, as now I spend because I want to, and not mindlessly.

• lemme just say, it feels really good to always see beautiful girls all around me, all day every day, not because I want them or anything (I’m perfectly happy with my girl, especially after how much she upgraded herself with the custom I made for her ), but because seeing so much beauty around me fills me up with more and more joy call it The Way of Khan

• coincidentally enough, I’ve also noticed that more people, who I used to be acquainted with, have started revealing their true nature to me, in the sense that I now see just how fake the people have been, and while I’ve had many ideas on how to destroy them (mentally, emotionally, and/or financially, like I’ve previously destroyed someone’s social life a couple of months ago), I’ve realized that I’m way above that, and way above them, as in, I won’t stoop down to their level and act the same way, as the non-reactivity I show ends up making them respect me, even if they hate me

• I’m back to looking as big as I was before starting my shenanigans with 6 cores customs those customs were perfect for inner growth, but man did I miss looking like an absolute unit

• as for my relationships with those close to me, the people around me have developed a new level of respect and love towards me, and the best part is that it’s much easier now to tell who’s being genuine and who’s not.

[Deadpool]

@Invictus

absolute unit

When the Zyzz Music Kicks In

[Risky]

Wohoo, invictus is back! Just kidding, nice posts.

[Invictus]

Drake & Eminem - Forever (Lyrics) FT. Kanye West, Lil Wayne

[bombayduck]

Well this just transplanted me back into 10th grade.

Listened to this song everyday at the time, still remember me arguing with friends about who had the best verse. I’m actually surprised that I still know 95% of the lyrics by heart.

[Risky]

Classic song

[Invictus]

I’m back to square one

I focused on spiritual growth, as well as the exploration of the unknown, felt good, but realized it was time to now go back to focusing on my body, as I had lost some weight and dropped to 68kg (my peak with EF being 74kg at 10.5% body fat) and was disappointed in my size.

But now that I’m trying my best, I feel like something is off, something deep inside me that was once there, is not anymore.
I wanna grow, I really wanna fucking grow, I’ve been pissed about it, and I’ve been putting even more work in the gym, as well as with my diet, and it’s just not feeling the same.

It’s like, I’m winning in every part of my life;

• I’ve become even more open-minded and learned things I wouldn’t have been able to grasp before.

• I’ve become an extremely high value individual, that the Olympics staff are excited to have me work with them and say that with calls on an almost daily basis (I start next Monday), while as the tourism council staff are telling me how it’s so unfortunate that I’m leaving cause they already miss my presence and high vibes.

• I’ve reached a point in my relationship with my girl where I’m 100% certain that she’s the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with, and not only does she add value to my life by supporting me in everything I do, but she herself has been making me so proud of the woman she’s evolving into, that I just can’t help but fall even more in love with her.

• and lastly, every friend I currently have is a blessing in disguise, and even @SaintSovereign, I can’t thank you enough for always giving me words of wisdom that help me out a ton every day.

So now I wonder: where did I go wrong?!
Why is the one thing that I have the most love for, feels so out of grasp?
Why am I feeling like a loser in the gym?
Why am I getting weaker?

I don’t like this.
And I’m trying to change it, but I don’t know what to do anymore

[Melior]

How are you training usually?

Also remember that your mind through your brain use a lot of ressources, and it can tire your nervous system (that’s why intellectual people spending a lot of ressource thinking or as you challenging themselves mentally can really have a hard time recover physically, don’t underestimate how much your brain can use ressources)

Therefore intense usage of subs can make your nervous system tired too in theory

I experienced it in other forms
Could it be a sign to tone down for some time or take some rest

It wouldn’t mean that you lost your high flow factor

[aaa]

Cool experiments ! That is what i like about entps, their experimental nature and good/hilarious insights.

Have you tried, the forge and/or Achilles heel? I am planning to include them in my to-be upgraded custom as they are very good for gaining clarity and growth.

[Invictus]

@Melior

How are you training usually?

That’s the thing, my training hasn’t changed much from September, up until yesterday when I got pissed off and went back to start with the basics, as that’s how bad it looks to me now.

So now I’m training with a novice/beginner strength program, no more extra volume or fancy things, so in a way,

@Melior

Could it be a sign to tone down for some time or take some rest

I’m doing exactly this, along with a few days of no subs for the time being.

Thing is, whenever I run a sub now, everything goes well; I get manifestations, I get inner growth, I get aura effects, I get mental enhancement, all the good stuff, and the only missing thing is now my physical body, as not only did I drop in weight, I also lost strength (keep in mind I was lifting more than my own body weight at one point).

@aaa

Have you tried, the forge and/or Achilles heel? I am planning to include them in my to-be upgraded custom as they are very good for gaining clarity and growth.

No I haven’t, however, when you go through alpha subs such as Khan, and allow yourself to dive deeper within your psyche, you’ll gain insights, hence me even opening up about it all.

Don’t get me wrong, I still look 10x better than I did before starting subs here, but I just don’t look like my best anymore.

[Melior]

@Invictus

So now I’m training with a novice/beginner strength program, no more extra volume or fancy things, so in a way,

I may not help you learn anything but just in case checking a few boxes here :

Volume usually works mechanically on the fibers of the muscle and strength on the capacity of the nervous system

Even if you don’t feel especially tired the second one is more often more taxing because it simply needs a lot more time to fully go back to optimal level (around 7 but more like 10 days - especially after a cycle of strength)

One simply can’t train as often strength than volume, someone training for hypertrophy should go for 3-5 days of training but someone purely for strength should optimally do strength 1-3 times a week

The most optimal way is to throw a mix of the two

@Invictus

keep in mind I was lifting more than my own body weight at one point).

For Wich exercices tho I can’t remember sry mate too many programs I’ve made or seen in between

@Invictus

@Melior

Could it be a sign to tone down for some time or take some rest

I’m doing exactly this, along with a few days of no subs for the time being.

Thing is, whenever I run a sub now, everything goes well

Accostumance? But in a weird way?
Anyway I’m sure that after some rest you’ll be back up, there is so many little parameter than can play into it

[Dark]

@Invictus

Now this custom isn’t new, I built it a while back, but never really used it for more than a loop, simply because the first time I used it, it ended up manifesting 10K for me, with which I ended up buying Symbiote just to test, and went down my rabbit hole haha, but that’s also why I never shared it.

Is there any wealth module you’d credit this to?

[Malkuth]

Could be that it’s more of a mental thing and it’s time for you to add in a new skill to your workout or something, so that it continues to feel like an inspiring challenge.

[Invictus]

@Melior

One simply can’t train as often strength than volume, someone training for hypertrophy should go for 3-5 days of training but someone purely for strength should optimally do strength 1-3 times a week

Hence why I dropped my training days to just 4 as well.

But from the introspection I’ve been doing, it seems like the issue isn’t really related to energy or mental resources, but more so about me and ambition.

A flame has died, for no apparent reason.

@Dark

Is there any wealth module you’d credit this to?

Nope, there’s nothing in the custom for wealth haha (just general manifestation stuff).

@Malkuth

Could be that it’s more of a mental thing and it’s time for you to add in a new skill to your workout or something, so that it continues to feel like an inspiring challenge.

That’s the thing, I feel like I was diving so much into other things, that I have lost touch with flame that was ignited in my heart for bodybuilding, heck I even wanted to take steroids and compete this year, but now, I just train from a discipline standpoint, and do it because it’s a part of my day.

I’ve noticed that for some reason, I now workout just because it’s something I’ve always done, every other “pushing” factor I had just seems to be lost somewhere.

Like I’d much rather sit in my car and explore topics related to mysticism, rather than go to gym right now, even though I can, I’d rather go at night.

[Athanaxos]

@Invictus

A flame has died, for no apparent reason.

What was it before with working out that made you so deeply ravenous and starvingly obsessive about it? Can you still relate to that feeling, and feel that kind of hunger? Has the hunger changed, in any way?

[mountainguy]

This might not be a popular opinion, but I’ve always had the opinion that certain levels of “drive” are imbalanced by nature, and best only used for matters that truly have value to your life. Perhaps on some level you have decided that you have other places you need to put that energy, or you have decided to remain in a more balanced place.

Just spitballing.

Alternatively you could look into some more esoteric training for strength. Iron Shirt Chi Kung, Tendon Nei Kung and Bone Marrow Nei Kung spring to mind as being able to deliver amazing power without a focus on muscle building.

[Melior]

@Invictus

But from the introspection I’ve been doing, it seems like the issue isn’t really related to energy or mental resources, but more so about me and ambition.

A flame has died, for no apparent reason

Then it’s probably because you’re onto another chapter of your life simply

I had this same period for the last 2 years and it stopped 9 month ago
And honestly mixing sport/workout with spirituality is a harder mix than it looks like, especially of you’re the all in type like I am

Workout can seem really useless if you dwelve on spiritual/mystic matters

I did lost a lot of weight too when on that journey so I wouldn’t worry except if it start to go really far into the weight-loss or the hermit attitude

Just keep yourself on check!

Also a bit more by intuition :
Maybe it’s also just a sign that you need to find another source for that flame because the precedent one was not the best for you (especially if you considered taking roids with your heart condition, it simply could have caused your premature death really…)

[Athanaxos]

@Melior

Then it’s probably because you’re onto another chapter of your life simply

@Melior

a sign that you need to find another source for that flame

I was alluding to this. Maybe you’ve simply outgrown the old level, and need a new one - which may or may not include Berserk-level training for a Final Boss fight

What was it before that pushed you towards physical prowess? And how do you feel about that right now?

Also, there may be overthinking involved. Have you tried to apply some RoM and see if that resolves the issue, one way or another?

[Malkuth]

@Invictus

That’s the thing, I feel like I was diving so much into other things, that I have lost touch with flame that was ignited in my heart for bodybuilding, heck I even wanted to take steroids and compete this year, but now, I just train from a discipline standpoint, and do it because it’s a part of my day.

Do you remember what led you to become inspired in the first place?

How did it happen the first time?