I had a question, can your environment and/or family increase recon?
Like for example, if your running a sub that makes you more dominant and the family you live with at the moment, has in the past, made you more submissive, would it cause recon because the environment contradicts what you’re trying to change?
I read somewhere that a lot of the beliefs we have, we pick up unconsciously from our family(caretaker or parent) and environment, and it sticks with us for a long time.
no, it would cause recon because you aren’t used to be dominant and it goes against your belief
Your environment matters for sure though but it’s in your power to change it
You would then be in the forge, the perfect bedrock for change, a catalyst for transmutation from one state of submissiveness to that of dominance. You would only be in recon if you continue on this same pattern of the past. Your mind wishes to express the changes that you are now embodying within. Continuing on with past patterns (submissive responses, not getting what you actually want, and such) would result in recon, depending on the situation. It would then reattempt that which it failed after a process of refinement, to express that change again, until you either give up (switch or stop the subliminal or the change itself without the tools) or transcend it. You know how in video-games or board games, you would face a boss or a level and fail, then you would grind up for a while to level up, maybe buy new equipment, change your team, and refine your strategies; then you try that stage again and you own it?
In other words, the manner in which you handle those interactions with the family, which are representatives and reminders of a past you, a younger self, would be the main symbols of triggering reconciliation. Remember and realize that the past has gone and you are neither that person nor are they, change is constant and consistent, for the better or worse, and since you are here asking these questions and using these tools, there’s no other way than a holistic improvement of this new you that is posting on this board and reading this message now. You are stronger than before and will continue to be such.
Ultimately, you would want to get a new environment, yes. But if you allow those symbols – those specific family members, to send you back to that submissive self, then recon could echo outside that environment as well.
Yeah, some even postulate so since we were entombed in the womb.
It might not cause recon directly, but there could be power struggles as you try to break free from old relationship dynamics. This would occur whether you’re changing due to sub use or just raw willpower.
thanks for the feedback, it has been tough these past couple of months with integrating change and becoming who I want to become. For some reason I feel like I keep hitting an invisible glass ceiling. I don’t know whether thats self limiting beliefs but looking back, I’ve blown a lot of opportunities. It seems that every time I’m about to breakthrough a barrier, I self sabotage big time. It’s almost like I take 2 steps forward, then 10 steps back, then 5 steps forward, then 8 steps back, essentially just ending up in the same spot. I was tempted to run limit destroyer but I’m running terminus with two cores already and 7 modules I believe. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm my brain. It just feels like I keep running into a solid steel reinforced wall, especially when it comes to women.
There’s definitely a power struggle, especially when I ran khan black, that was the worst I experienced from my mom. We argued every day practically and she always started it out of nowhere. She would instigate all the arguments through slick comments to purposely get under my skin. When I stopped Khan black, she stopped with the arguments. My mom is very controlling, narcissistic and manipulative. But it was worse on khan black. She would do things to purposely assert her authority like making me get things that were right next to her, that she could easily reach. When I would get mad, she would respond harshly. Like boiling mad that I didn’t do what she said. Could my relationship with my mom be effecting my relationship with women and the reason for me constantly hitting a wall when running subs related to attracting women?
On terminus I’ve been feeling really nervous and just feeling terrible even though I’m only doing 30 seconds and waiting 5 days before running it again for 30 seconds. I get like a strong fear within me when I see a woman I don’t know.
Happens to the best of us. Despite falling back, you still moved forward and are still doing so. These invisible walls are common, I actually had one myself yesterday, in the form of not wanting to go forward with DRG/DRR St2; I actually felt an invisible force, an internal one, a psychic barrier. They’re a common thing, being aware of them, such as you are, is a step forward into dissolving them.
Continue with self-observation and journaling, perhaps meditate upon them if you aren’t. You could also practice active imagination to learn more. The important thing is to not give up.
Terminus is a beast of its own; your choice of being responsible with the subliminals is one of good judgement, well done. Perhaps increase the rest days and listen to LB through a microloop. Drip, drip, drip, till the mountain’s drilled.
Figure out the reasons behind this, you will be doing yourself a great deal of justice by doing so.
There will be many more opportunities to come 
It sure has a play in it. However, she is not the sole perpetrator. There are many factors affecting our relationships with the other women; growing environment (mama and dada) and society play a vital role. The shift in power dynamic and her reaction to the changes you’re expressing are sure having a wide effect on you, they’re also draining your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energies.
You are not responsible for how she reacts, or anyone else, that’s on them, you are, however, resposible on how you react to them react.
Uff, man, why do you think that strange women are brining out such a strong emotion? What is it that you’re afraid off? Do you think that these women and your mother are somehow connected?
What are you listening to, btw? And what modules did you hook up?
right now in my modules Is:
it was one of the few customs I made early, 2 years ago so its very unorganized but I wanted to go back to it even though its not focused in one direction.
so I was self reflecting today and I realized that I only feel this way about women when I’m alone. This problem doesn’t seem to come up when I’m with someone and they are basically being a wingman. So I guess it depends on the situation. I only feel extreme nervousness and anxiousness around women I don’t know when I haven’t talked to anyone for hours on end. I don’t want to put it all on my mom. Yea she is authoritarian and hasn’t really been there for me emotionally. Tbh, I don’t even remember a time when she cared for me as her own, she was emotionally distant all my life. She’s not my birth mom but she did raise me with my father and I always felt like there was some regret there. There was a lot of emotional abuse, physical too that took a toll on me to the point where I became emotionally numb to everything when I was younger. Consciously I know that not all women are like my mom, obviously, but unconsciously I don’t know. It something I have to work through to uncover. Also, when I first began running subs many, many years ago, from a different company, it may have made it worse I believe. Bad scripting and all.
I did get an opportunity today, won’t go into details because it hasn’t led to anything yet, if it does, I’ll definitely journal it and post It here
I agree with this and I need to start looking at it in this way. I’m not there yet mentally. I’m still working on it.
Aside from being terminus with three cores (I assume 8. is Index Gate), sounds like it’s doing exactly what you’d expect from it – digging deep inside of you, past all the dredged and agony to find what truly makes resonates with your heart song.
You also have Psyche Augmentation and Psyche Restoration. The goals of those modules are ambitious and grand, and the treasures of those fruits are priceless. It speaks volumes about those that choose to fill the limited module spaces with them.
Well, we know that you are sexy. We know that you’re mad. And we know that you’re a scientist; and based on your posts, I’d say that you’re someone that’s aware of their inner life and is in continuous state of learning and refinement. It sounds to me that you’re in your head in those situations or leading to those situations. It gets better with time and practice. There are some practices that you could easily find if you think you’d need them, like bringing your awareness to your body through physically touching objects in your environment, nothing like Adrien Monk ofcourse. Primal is also excellent for this whenever you need it - bringing one out of their head and back into the body.
Its okay, the roots of the family (or whatever was in our lives for a long while) run deep within the psyche, let alone the Mother figure. Nothing stands before time and consistency.
You da man.
yea 8 was index gate, not the core but the module. So I only have 2 cores in this custom.
I appreciate the encouragement
did you mean listen to LD as in limitless destroyer?