I promised I’d post more on EMPEROR so here we go.
On The Last Post
While I enjoyed having sex day one with the new girl, I don’t want it to seem like that was the only enjoyable part of the experience.
The thing with running these subliminals and experiencing these manifestations is that the women I meet are highly compatible with me and its always an adventure.
She’s someone I’m genuinely interested in and compatible with on many levels and while I look forward to fucking her again (of course), I also want to spend time with her.
That’s not something that is solely on her part either. I’ve grown in many ways that I’m capable of handling intimacy much better than I did in the past.
Before all this self growth I’d engage in immature behaviors with women, or be inauthentic.
I have a ways to go, but I actually take pleasure in the relationships I form now because I can truly be myself.
The State of My Evolution
Right now the theme of EMPEROR seems to be bullies.
A lot of content in my dreams has to do with being bullied, being made to feel small and helpless. I’m remembering events that I suppose I repressed some time ago.
I wasn’t aware of just how big of an impact they were having on me now – until I started the sub.
I’ve been responding with anger and isolation, but the difference is that this time I’m actually speaking to people through my anger and anxiety and I’m finding that people are tolerant or willing to work out the situation with me, which wasn’t what I expected.
More Positive Thinking
I’m cultivating more and more positive thoughts, reworking old negative perceptions of myself and harmonizing my life. When I speak of harmony I mean making my life more in line with the new thoughts I’m cultivating. Things as simple as cleaning my room, or getting more work done on time are happening.
More Chances to Socialize
There was an effect on earlier versions of Ascension that I loved and it consisted of people A) inviting me out B) paying for everything and C) always meeting new interesting people and women.
So far I’ve gone bar hopping with friends, flirted with this 30 year old who seemed receptive but hit me with the “too young for me,” deal.
I was invited out to 2 Dollar Tuesdays, but had to decline as I was dead tired. Looking back, it may not have been such a bad idea, but I chose to prioritize waking up early, taking good care of myself and getting work done.
That is the mindset of an EMPEROR.