Emperor Black + Ecstasy of Freedom (EOG St1)

Journals - Major Programs
#21

Over a week spent with family while running EB + ROM and it’s been an interesting mix, to say the least.

I’ll say this about the addition of ROM to my stack: I love it.

Things have happened that I haven’t fully unpacked yet – like an ex of mine coming to my family’s gathering with her kids and her dude, which created an interesting dynamic – and other small things that used to be issues were non-existent, but almost everything seems to be triggering new insights or nudges to probe deeper.

It also seems like the shape, texture, and feeling of my reflections have changed too. And connecting with people in general, especially with family, feels much smoother… with conversation flowing almost as much or as little as I want it to.

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#22

Asked people during christmas if they believed in possibility of reincarnation…death, dying, and the transformation of energy has been on my mind recently.

Most said no almost as a kneejerk reaction and one or two said they weren’t sure.

Here’s an interesting video of some research a guy did on reincarnation in America:
https://youtu.be/vr8Z_QcCvO8?t=25

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#23

I got my grandmother, who is having a rough time of old age and doesn’t exercise, to do some Qigong with me during my stay with family.

I told her before I visited that I’d have her working out everyday while I was there and she’d said, “No way.” Then, every day for a few days after I arrived I told her we’d work out in the afternoon so she should be ready to go…

“No, I’m too busy. Too many things to do,” she’d say.

Then I stopped mentioning it.

During that time, I went out to the park, did my own workouts, and even fasted a couple days…wasn’t as disciplined as I’d have been if I was home, but that’s another story.

About the 7th day, she mocked that the workouts I’d had her do were “so tough”.

So I said, “Let’s workout right now.”

“No…I’m busy,” she shot back as she turned and walked away.

A couple days later while having breakfast with her, I asked if she was ready to do some simple breathing exercises that afternoon…and to my surprise she said, “Yes,” and I could see she was genuinely interested.

So, when she came to find me later that day, I had her do some qigong.

It was tough for her…her lung function has diminished, her fitness is poor, and her mobility is lacking, but she followed along as best she could, and after each session she seemed to be in good spirits despite the burning muscles in her legs, lol.

And we did qigong together for another couple days until I left.

It made me feel some joy that she finally came around to actually initiating some change in her daily routines…I’d love nothing more than for her to feel more energetic and mobile so she can enjoy the last leg of her journey a little more, with less pain (plus, she might stick around a little longer too), but I know whatever happens is up to her and the creator.

The whole family has tried and failed many times to convince her to adopt ANY exercise in her daily routine, so I wasn’t too optimistic about her taking me up on my offer. But the fact that my approach worked, and that the method I used to influence her came 100% naturally, was eye-opening and made me think that HOM has definitely done some deep work for me in the “understanding others” department…and ROM is definitely helping to unlock some things.

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#24

It’s washout day 2 from my second cycle of Emperor Black and first cycle of Revelation of Mind. I opted not to add in EOG St1 this cycle because I was concerned about triggering too much recon, EB was enough for me to handle…and I don’t think I navigated it as well as I could have.

I have to admit that I didn’t feel the dark aspects of EB that others have reported. At first, I thought that maybe I was just in perpetual recon and not able to sense that aspect of EB. But after I added ROM this cycle, I contemplated a lot about what my external environment was reflecting back about my internal state, and I came to a different conclusion about that aspect of EB: the things that were in the dark for me were the more vulnerable aspects of my heart and soul. A deep desire to connect, inspire, and be useful. To create something beautiful.

EB helped me dive deeper into those parts of me that I’d walled off, and ROM helped me interpret and better understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that arose from that expedition.

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#25

It’s washout day 4…

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know, yeah

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#26

It’s washout day 5, and I find myself taking more action in the wealth-building department…

  • had an idea for a new business days ago, tried to “figure out” some logistics for how it could work, then got hung up on things that don’t matter right now like what to call it, setting up an LLC, etc…finally, I said, “f*** it” and just started reaching out to businesses
  • got one immediate response that confirmed there’s an actual problem to solve – don’t know how urgent or important it is to them yet – and will continue to reach out to talk to more business owners to validate the idea
  • am attending a workshop to review persuasion concepts on how to agitate a person’s pain in a non-pushy way so they opt to use the solution now and not later
  • attended another workshop to review attention grabbing concepts last week
  • and am, in general, paying more attention to my cash flow with a greater sense of calm

I also went “back to basics” in terms of reviewing my understanding of reality and reality creation.

While I was paying attention to my thoughts, and what my attention would gravitate towards, I realized how negatively tilted my thoughts have become, and how my energy matched. I cut off almost all media a couple days ago, so the internal negativity was much more obvious without the external stimulus (guess monk mode finally kicked in for me…helps that I’m alone now).

I say “negative” but I don’t mean “bad”. I mean focused on the things I don’t want, and finding ways in which my efforts will fail instead of succeed.

Anyway, I’m paying closer attention to what I feed my Mind, the thoughts it produces, and trying to increase my ability to catch and transform the negative thoughts into positive ones.

For example, from “I don’t have enough money so I can’t buy that…” to “When I have the cash, that car is mine.”

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