These things tend to start (and live) in the body.
This guy (Peter Levine) has done some pretty amazing work on these issues.
Might be worth checking out. Can’t hurt to add one more weapon to the arsenal (or tool to the belt, if you prefer).
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Difficult physical challenges yesterday.
Had a regularly-scheduled Zoom consultation meeting from 11 to 12. Then another Zoom meeting with colleagues scheduled for 2 to ?. Ordered lunch by delivery service at 1PM or so. During the last 3+ months, I discovered the amazingness of poké bowls. One bowl jam-packed with so many healthy ingredients. I’ve been eating them almost daily from the same restaurant. Delicious. You order 3 proteins, 5 vegetables, 3 crunchy textures, a sauce, and one fruit (i always get pomegranate pips). It all mixes together very well, and you’re good.
Well, I have a lifelong SERIOUS tree nut allergy. Peanuts, almonds (fake nuts) are fine. But any proper tree nut no good. One of the items on their menu is something called Kukui nuts.
I was digging into my lunch before the 2 PM colleaugue-meeting. I took two bites and that was all it took to realize that something was wrong. The reaction was instantaneous. Basically, my body reacts like it has been fed poison. It tries to reject and escape from the item. As that item journeys from one end to the other of that simple tube that makes up the alimentary canal, it basically leaves a trail of disruption and pain.
At the restaurant, the set-up must be kind of like a salad bar/buffet. The server just dips into the particular container that holds what you ordered. If that person doesn’t pay attention, the wrong item can get into your order. That must have been what happened.
I figured I hadn’t eaten that much of whatever it was. So I joined the meeting and was set to ride it out calmly if uncomfortably. Sometimes, interestingly, coca-cola helps with muting food allergic reactions a bit so I asked someone here to grab a bottle for me and drank that as quickly as I could.
I gave my report first in the meeting. And time passed. My colleagues talk a lot so the meeting was going on and on. I realized that my physical condition was gradually getting worse. Sent a private message to a friend in the meeting and one to the Chair and explained I’d need to pop in and out. Turned off the camera feed from myself. Exploded out both ends of that same alimentary tube (in the bathroom thankfully).
I wasn’t in anaphylactic shock, thank gooodness; but it was simply not subsiding. Fell asleep for a couple of hours around midnight, but woke up at 2 AM and it was just as bad. Ended up staying up from 2 to 6. Then since I wasn’t exhausted I thought, ‘may as well meditate’ don’t know what’s going to happen later today.
Used Stark Q Terminus as the timer and did my hour from 6:15 to 7:15. Did another daily practice and then got some sleep. Discomfort still there. At this point, it’s been about 17 hours or so. Slept from 7:30 am to 12:30 pm. When I woke up, the pain had quieted. And now I’m kind of tip-toeing through the day, just in case the bear is ready to wake up again.
Allergies are challenging.
Seem to be okay now.
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3:30 pm here now. I just started playing my core playlist:
2 Ecstasies of Gold Q stage 4, 1 Emperor Q, 1 Stark Terminus Q, 1 Limitless Q, 1 Rebirth Q, and 1 Inner Circle Q. A 6-hour cycle.
(At some point, I’ll have to stop including the Q every time–since there won’t be anything but Q. For now though, I still get a kick out of it.)
Stomach’s still tapping its foot and looking balefully at me like an irritated spouse. (‘Sorry, dude. Didn’t do that to you on purpose.’)
And now, back to work.
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At first I thought you meant Pokéballs lol
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I love how your entries have such a personal note and how you manage to describe things happening in your everyday life in such an interesting and thrilling manner. Seriously, very well written.
Will aim to do the same with my journal from now on
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I literally think that every time I say the words. 
Imagine how much fun we’ve missed in all these months of abstract idea posts. 
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What you really want to do is live your life and to then integrate magick, subliminals, subconscious-oriented strategies into your life as part of it, not a replacement for it.
That’s the balanced approach and it actually creates the conditions and attitudes that allow the magick, etc., to work at its best.
Getting to this balance-point though? Might take a little paddling.
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My life is feeling a little transitional and unmanageable right now. There are things I can do to minimize that.
It feels very easy to disengage. There are some important tasks of my job that I have to really slog through or force myself to do. I will never be truly at one with this job. But there are parts that I truly value and enjoy.
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These are my thoughts today. I only speak for myself.
This can be easy. Let it be easy.
What you want is not impossible, more like undefined.
Do not mix those two things up!!! They are not the same thing.
A common mistake.
People know what they want to feel. But they do not actually know what will help them to feel that way.
The secret is, it will often turn out to be easier than you think. The main barrier is not impossibility. It is experiential ignorance.
What is the antidote to experiential ignorance?
Experiential exploration.
Learning by doing.
Learning by trying.
Recognize this truth:
The answer will not be clear when you read it. It will be clear when you EXPERIENCE it.
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Another thing:
It’s going to be about actions over possessions. Experiences over possessions.
Possessions do matter but, frankly, they matter mainly because of the experiences that they make possible or enhance.
I’m writing these things down for myself. I’m in a Stark Emperor phase. There’s a need for clarification of goals and perspectives.
I’m figuring out how to take these next, new steps.
A new way of walking carries you into a new world.
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Okay. Let’s get to the f***ing tacks.
Value.
Contributing value in the form of services, products, or information.
This is it. The engine that feeds you, that supports your lifestyle, that drives your path forward.
The freaking yellow brick road.
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One issue that I’m dealing with right now is that my queue is completely filled with busy work from my job. Due to the deadlines, all of these tasks will have to be done within the next 10 days or so. I’m frustrated by this situation, but it is unavoidable.
I’m trying to inspire/goad myself to find the right actions for Ecstasy of Gold, but at the same time, i realize that I need to put all of that to the side as I deal with my job. And so, for now, that’s what I will do.
No need to be frustrated about the Actions that I am or am not taking, because right now what I need to do is focus on the job.
Once that is done, let’s hope that I can muster the focus and motivation to get some high-quality Emperor and Ecstasy of Gold action going.
And that’s that.
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I’ve got about 7 days of busy work starting from today.
Navigating this.
If I get my mind right, it will go better. I know this. But it needs constant reminding.
I’ve listened to two reps of Ecstasy of Gold Q. I’m halfway through my Emperor Q play.
I’ll be glad when I’m through this.
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Are you going to the office again?
For the all-day meetings I had yesterday and the day before, I did go back to the office. But now I’m back working at home again. No more on-site obligations for a while.
How about you?
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I have been working from home the past 50 days or so. On Monday, I will be back in the office for 3 days a week. You seem to be a very introspective person. Do you enjoy working from home more than being in the office?
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Completely.
I have APPRECIATED this change. Have not missed the office for even a moment.
I do have my children here, so any hunger I might have evinced for social interaction pretty much gets met by them. Besides I do not tend to have very enjoyable interactions when I am going to the office. It’s not terrible. But generally feels like a waste of time.
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I feel you. When this whole thing began I was also very happy to have so much more time for myself.
It timed perfectly with a deep emotional cleaning, I like to compare it to an ayahuasca ceremony which lasted for 50 days haha.
And now I am ready to come back and become a real salesman on the phone, so to speak.
Anyway, what I discovered is that these places and situations are just different aspects of a video game we call life. So I don’t stress out too much on it anymore. I just think it is important to take time for yourself every day
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For the first time in a very long while, I’m using the Ultrasonic version of my core playlist. I’m not usually in a room by myself. Also, I just prefer Masked versions because that aural feedback makes it easier to accept that something is really happening.
But I’m playing music out of a speaker right now as I work in a room alone, so seemed like a good chance to also embed the Ultrasonics.
Music currently playing:
And FrequenSee assures me that the Ultrasonic is indeed playing:
The good old spike all the way on the right says we’re good.
Okay. Now back to work.