@UPLSO This is my last message for this year as I am going out to enjoy the fireworks. You are not alone I am experiencing sadness and anger. Especially when it comes to relationships with women in the past that I could have been with but lacked self worth and huge self esteem issues. To take action and be with them perhaps I could have been in a loving relationship now. I went down the PUA route and met alot of women sadly this whole thing of getting laid and raising your notch count is behind me.
I just want to be in a loving relationship with one girl. Yet the girls I encounter are there then they vanish. Perhaps thats a good thing and there never meant to be with me long terrm.
Financially I did well Emperor V1 and V2 made me aggressive and helped me use my anger and aggression to get what I wanted. Now with V4 its like I am experiencing guilt from the past. The break of my relationship with my mother and father. A brother who only contacts me when he needs money. Yet I am so naive that I loan him money but he never pays me back. V4 brings out the angry side of me that I was used all these years. I am going to drop down to 2 loops of V4 and 4 loops of V3.
At least it will give me back the power to channel my anger into something productive. Rather then mope about the past.
Peace to all my SC brothers.