The dragon in the title really is appropriate,
As it’s energy is always there pushing and it’s like how do you direct it so that it’s not just throwing you around in its ancient, symbolic way of expressing or communicating.
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Two competing fields. Takes hold of the mind with however much emotional charge there is for it. The sub burns off that energy.
At one point i ran part of ascended mogul with regen. Felt a surge of meaning come through to be productive and driven by, but was torn as to what path to take. One path felt disempowering, its field was too strong and won out against myself or the empowering “field”.
Running regen longer will hopefully clear out more of the noise so I can get the clearity on my path and goals.
In one state at work for exame my mind is clear on the goal and the why and im driven with confidence, and in the other state the mind is fuzzy and I have to go slow as to not make mistakes.
The cycle spins faster. Something tries to come through. Anxiety, makes me want to shout and punch things.
The godlike masculenity sub is appealing in that I feel more like that which is described the further i go with the healing, so maybe it will get me there faster or help defend that masculine state, but I wonder about the psychological mechanisms used for the goal oriented programs. If it’s anything like what regen does in the sense of motivating me to let go and bring things up, if it brings about “masculinity” in a way that feels true and not overcompenating.
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I dont know if this is a normal part of the process or its just me being stuck where im at, but it makes me angry beyond belief. I’ll start feeling that burning in the chest for awhile and than it will go into my face and head and It will go away.
It makes me angry because I know it’s the trauma fighting to stay in control and it feels like im so close to being freed of it. Thats why I kept stepping up the listening time to 8 mins because it was getting closer to see it, but maybe my psyche wants to take it slower. Feeling pretty sluggish and fuzzy headed, or brain fog.
F@#$ it happened again. I saw it unfold, they tried to keep it a secret. Make it seams like i could never get out. Instincts captured by this image of lust.
What do i need to strive for or go after that is in the opposite direction of this?
The day after running 2 mins AM, 2 mins regen.
This makes me think, if my main issue is getting seduced by this unconscious power sucking “entity”, than would running the seduction subliminal help solve that problem?
That or the dream sub or revelation of mind?
Not for lucid dreaming but possibly to recall more dreams, since i do get insights through dreams but alot stay hidden from me.