Digging myself out of a hole - A Q Journey

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#181

DAY64(update)

So instead of working or doing anything productive, I spent the whole day attending various talks in a virtual conference. Even though I learned a lot there, and am still processing some of the information I got, I feel that the conference will neither help me get a better job nor will it help me with my current one. I feel that it will help me in the future, and even help with me with my blog and personal projects.

So is it a form of procrastination? Yes, maybe, I don’t know. It makes me happy, and feel contented. But there’s still this nagging thing at the back of my head.

However, it is by attending these sessions that an idea for a possible work project came up. The issue here, though, is that it would be going against my boss’s boss, and his ideas. Not sure how that will be taken up, as it would basically be saying our product sucks, and the designs my boss’s boss did is lacking. And yet, there’s also this “saving” grace in what I’m thinking right now. And it would be the “recommendations” portion. But still, not really sure how it would be taken.

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#182

DAY65(early update)

Still logged on to virtual conference talks. Work feels like a chore.

Finished listening to BLU and my health custom. Am currently listening to my wealth custom. Am really considering creating a either a write-up or a video of how our product sucks and then send it over to our bosses. Of course this will be career suicide. But I don’t really know. Maybe this is the push I need or maybe it’s a cry for help?

As I said, work feels like a chore. But chores still need to be done…

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#183

I think that COULD work in your favor as long as you have “and this is how we can fix it”

Even more so if you can find a way to let the bosses think it’s their idea somehow.

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#184

Yeah it “could”. However, the fix isn’t that easy. This is especially true when the “fix” means a redesign of the system architecture. As of now, simply proposing slight modifications to it gets us a lot of opposition from the top.

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#185

Food for thought. Just saw this in my LinkedIn feed and would like to post for anyone interested:

I’ve been trying to be a jack-of-all-trades in my field and so far, I am still stuck where I was 4 years ago. I have seen job descriptions asking for specific requirements. And though I have experience in a few of them, never enough to be what they want. Maybe I should stick more to where I’m good at then?

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#186

DAY65(update)

For some reason, I found myself working a few hours on office-related stuff. Pretty mundane and simply just purely manual testing. However, I found myself not complaining, and simply just diving into my work. Haven’t felt like this in a while really. Not sure where that came from. Maybe it’s the subs motivating me to do some work (no matter how small or mundane)? Maybe it’s just that I didn’t feel like doing anything? Or maybe a part of me realized that in order to keep my job (at least for the time being), I also need to do some “recordable and viewable” work? In either case, I’m not complaining. At least I got some work done, and have something off my plate, and less nagging feeling.

Still thinking of how to “properly” word the report I’m planning on presenting my boss (and maybe upper level?). Without saying much, the product our team supports isn’t that good. It’s supposed to be a general-purpose piece of hardware. However, a few months ago, I used to support another product that was more useful for certain conditions, but was told to stop supporting said product.

Thing was, I’m seeing that more and more customers need the unsupported product as compared to the one upper management is pushing so hard to sell. But the thing is, the reason customers need the 2nd one is because the 1st isn’t really able to support all the needs the customers have, while the 2nd can. So right now, I’m trying to write something that would basically say, we’re selling the wrong product at this time. whoopdeedodah!

2 Likes
#187

There’s always a way to put things in a favourable light for both your boss/company and you. Unless the guy is a lost cause.

Maybe phrase it such that it will profit the company. Its hard to argue with more cash.

Just throwing some ideas out there.

#188

Good stuff. Nothing like being able to get things done. I love that feeling especially since am generally lazy lol.

#189

Yup. Doesn’t matter how shitty it is. At least you’re busy doing something, right? And yes, as much as I complain about lazy asses at work, on reflection, maybe because I see a part of myself in them?

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#190

I’ll try. But first, I need to find someone willing to at least listen.

2 Likes
#191

DAY66(early update)

So I binged on Netflix last night. Finished the entire season of “Blood of Zeus” as I hate cliffhangers. Went to bed listening to RebirthU. Not really sure how many loops I got in as I woke up with my earphones on my side.

In any case, I’m currently in the car with the kids while the wife is inside the grocery store. Although kids are rambunctious and noisy, I feel somewhat unaffected.

Got a chance to chat with a former colleague of mine. Maybe there is a chance I might get in that company I applied for some time ago. The one where the interviewer abruptly ended the interview because my experience wasn’t up to par with what they needed. But not really keeping my hopes up. In any case, I feel that somehow things will get better for me.

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#192

Actually had the same thought when I first read your vignette.

It’s common to ask a range of questions and even a few impossible ones. It’s a way of seeing how people handle challenge or deal with their own limitations in social settings. Or it can just be an interesting moonshot to see what the interviewee will come up with.

You seem pretty good with this following point, but I’ll say it anyway. I need to hear it myself too. Remember that you are also interviewing these people. You are awesome and they’ll be lucky to have you. Not just because you’ve mastered some skills in the past, but because you are that rare and valuable breed known as A Learning Person. A few of these in a company can really make amazing things happen.

#193

Thank you for your kind words @Malkuth. And yes. I do believe that I would make a good addition to any company simply because I don’t want to stop learning.

#194

DAY66(update)

Nothing much to write about today. Because of covid restrictions, we decided not to have the kids go out trick-or-treating this year. Instead, we had them roam around the house pretending each room was a different house they would knock on and ask for candy in their costumes. Simple things like that, yet the kids had a blast.

Also noticed that my temper has been mostly in check and that I didn’t have any headaches today. Not sure if it’s because of less reconciliation, or because of the RebirthU I played while I slept last night. Given that today was a “rest day”, I opted not to listen to any subs.

Also noticed that I feel a lot more tired today. Not sure if it was because I binged last night or simply because I just need rest from the stress last week. In either case, my wife was kind enough to have me nap on the couch. Even though the kids were in the living room, watching tv, playing and horsing around, I slept like a log! Lol!

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#195

Feeling a little redundant here, but: man, that’s awesome! People who do creative things like that for their kids/family really inspire me.

(haha. :flushed: I actually said ‘That’s awesome!’ out loud when I read that. And my son came by and said, ‘what?’ and then I had to describe what you guys had done for your kids. (uhhh, I hadn’t done anything like that for him. :flushed::sweat:)

#196

Don’t worry about it man. It’s my wife who normally comes up with fun activities for the kids. If it was just me, I’d probably just have them watch Nightmare Before Christmas or some other kid-friendly Halloween cartoon.

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#197

Nice mom/wife. And you make it happen too.

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#198

Sometimes my wife’s nagging is both a blessing and a curse. Lol!

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#199

was thinking of giving this a watch soon

i know what you mean, not married lol

#200

DAY67

Woke up to a headache. Not sure if it’s reconciliation or not, but my forehead hurt like crap.

Refraining from subs today was rather easy. Not sure why. Maybe because I’m getting used to it? I really don’t know. But having my ears feel “naked” seemed fine today. Only played music on my earphones for some time. But mainly just because my kids were too damned noisy, that I couldn’t hear myself think. Other than that, it was fine. I could probably compare today with last week, wherein, last weekend without subs felt like a junky without a hit. Today was fine.

Aside from my headache, the whole day was fine. However, come night time, while preparing to get my kids ready for bed, I again blew a gasket. Not sure if it was because of pent-up anger during the week, reconciliation, or something else. But I got mad at my kid again. I was able to refrain myself from shouting the past week, but tonight, I just couldn’t control it. I don’t know really.