Digger’s Journey to becoming a Quantum Mogul

Journals - Major Programs
#61

QL ST1 DAY26

Went out with my family for groceries. Though there were a handful of stuff I wish we didn’t buy, we still ended up paying about 25% less of what we normally buy on a regular grocery trip.

Wife told me that my kids needed new dressers/drawers as they’re getting bigger and going to school. Makes sense, and I understand that as you grow, you need more stuff. And needing more things also means you need bigger storage spaces. Told my wife I didn’t have a budget for that. She then asked me when will I have a budget? I just told her that I didn’t know. Was prepared to tell her all the list of things I am still paying for (like my gum operation last December, our car’s new tires, etc). However, she didn’t follow up and simply just changed the topic. Maybe she understands that we need to start budgeting our expenses? Need to keep dropping subtle hints about learning how to budget.

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#62

Awesome, I really like the progress I see in your journal :slight_smile:

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#63

QL ST1 DAY27

Either it’s the weather, some form of reconciliation or my immune system’s getting weak, but I’ve been getting a minor cold lately. Waking up with a blocked nose and irritated throat. Needed to blow my nose every now and then throughout the day.

Wife seems to be having some reconciliation of her own. She feels like she’s being treated as a maid. Though I don’t give her cash, she still has a credit card. I mean, I don’t like carrying cash around myself. She’s complaining about being stuck at home and not getting fancy stuff. I’m like, she didn’t want to learn to drive in the 1st place! And how the fuck will we pay for all that fancy stuff she wants?

Basically just kept my thoughts to myself. Trying to keep cool. Either recon or her time of month is getting close. Don’t want to fight. And don’t have the strength to fight. Especially now that kids are sleeping.

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#64

QL ST1 DAY28

Nothing much to say. Wife seems to still be in a foul mood. Though I tried to have her sleep in later than usual since kids are on break from school. Nothing much to talk about with her really.

Kept a “pretense” of being busy so as not to give her an excuse to complain or fight. Mainly stayed in front my computer whenever I didn’t have to help out.

Man, this shit is getting so tiring sometimes. But I don’t want to argue and fight. So fucking tired of bickering and fighting.

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#65

Do you have Sex Mastery X2?
If yes, maybe add it to your evening stack! :heart_eyes:

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#66

I play my evening stack with a speaker on ultrasonics, so that my wife can also benefit from both Mogul and QL. Do you suggest she listen to SM too? I thought SM was more for men because of the Ascension module in it?

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#67

Sex Mastery has always been gender neutral.

From a quick search:

The Ascension in SM2 is LITE, scripted for Sexual Confidence, not alpha maleness.

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#68

Hmmmm… interesting… maybe I’ll add that after a few more weeks. QL and mogul are already heavy programs. Adding in another may be too much for my wife. Might as well have QL ST1 help expand our processing first?

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#69

QL ST1 DAY29

Not really sure what compelled me to choose a Guy Fawkes mask as my avatar. Maybe because I am hiding behind some mask? Or maybe because I just like the movie V for Vendetta?

Wife’s been really antsy and easily annoyed. Been giving slight hints she wants to go to some store to buy furniture and stuff.

Aside from that, nothing much lately. Boss is on leave this week so not really expecting much to do. Yehey for no meetings!

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#70

QL ST1 DAY30

Oh wow! 30 days on this stack. Really don’t know whether to love or hate counting the days.

Part of me feels like I’m a kid counting down the days before Christmas or my birthday. Waiting for the presents to come in.

While another part hates all this counting. Feels like it’s impatient for things to settle down and/or finish/arrive. It’s like asking myself when will all this be over?

Took my kid to the dentist earlier. Not really sure why but I feel like my mind’s both slowing down and running fast at the same time. I was filling up some forms and my handwriting just came out horrible. It felt like I had to literally slow down my thinking in order for my hand to catch up.

However, while talking to the dentist and the technicians, I felt like I couldn’t understand what they were saying. It was like words were spitting out of them too fast. I had to ask them to repeat themselves a few times to understand.

Maybe it’s a lack of sleep, or I may be getting sick or some form of recon. I don’t know really.

Wife seems to still be having recon of her own. Like she knows we can’t go about buying shit. But at the same time, she wants to go back to the way before.

NOTE TO SELF:
Need to stay strong. This too shall pass.

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#71

QL ST1 DAY31

Man oh man. Received an email from that training school from a while back regarding today being their final day for the 25% discount for their training and certification programs. Finally decided to get an exam voucher for one of their certifications and a training + voucher for another.

Redeemed the voucher for the 1st certification and am glad to announce that I am certified. What I am ashamed of about it is:

  1. Although the exams are practical, the answers are multiple choice with a few questions having 1 or more answers.
  2. The answers to all the questions can be found by problem solving.
  3. The voucher is good for 1 exam plus 3 retakes. In all you have 4 attempts to pass.
  4. Each attempt relies on the same practical scenario. Just a mix of different sets of questions.
  5. This certification is a “junior/associate” level certification.
  6. Lastly, I only got to pass on my last attempt.

So yeah. Although I can add that to my resume/LinkedIn profile. I don’t really feel like I accomplished much. In fact, I feel like it was a waste of money for me. Even if this certification is in a way related to the exam I failed last month, it does not really carry the “prestige” of the one I failed in.

Maybe it’s Mogul/AM kicking me in the butt. Or maybe I am just being too hard on myself because it took me 4 tries to pass what should have been a “simple” exam?

On another note, I feel like I am coming down with something. My nose and throat’s been itching today. I needed to blow my nose every now and then.

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#72

After thinking things over a cup of tea, I really have no answer as to why that certification made me feel so down. I mean, even if it took me 4 takes, I still passed it on my last try. And yet, here I am. Still not impressed with myself. Can’t even post on LinkedIn regarding having passed it even if other people do. The only thing I did was add that to my profile under Licenses and Certifications.

Maybe it’s because that I expect much from myself, that I end up being hard on myself? But then if I don’t expect much, how do I become better?

Maybe because I feel that I have more potential than what I am producing now? My work is just that, “work”. Neither uplifting to my colleagues, nor is it making my bosses giddy. And yet I know I can generate better ideas than what is going on at work right now.

Maybe it’s fear also? Fear that I am not good enough? Fear of letting myself and other people down? Or fear of accomplishing things thus putting me under the spotlight?

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#73

I think no one’s words will be able to accommodate all of the complexities of your life situation. Besides, for every half-decent rule or principle that people come up with to explain why things happen, there are always plenty of exceptions. So, I won’t even hazard an opinion on the precise mixture of ingredients that create your current life situation. (Unsurprisingly, I’m smack-dab in the middle of working on my own.)

One thing I do think is that it’s good to use constant low-level experimentation and reality-testing to see where there might be unseen doorways or hidden opportunities. There’s sometimes something around that you can take advantage of if you happen to find it.

It’s important to find ways to handle discouragement, before it blooms into something more powerful.

And there’s that determination that says, ‘no matter what happens, no matter how things may look in a given moment, I will always be on my own side. I swear to my last breath never to make it easier for those forces that might try to block me or break me down.’ After that, you can rest a little easier because you know that no matter what happens, there’s always at least one person who has got your back.

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#74

I believe this is what “manifestation” is all about. It’s finding things and opportunities that you normally wouldn’t see. This is also why I decided to go with Mogul/AM and added QL. Not only do I hope to “find” opportunities but also to have my mind/subconscious attuned to finding those that used to be hidden to me.

I definitely agree with you on this one. Yes I have been discouraged and fell a lot of times before. But I still look at other ways to pull myself back up.

Amen brother! Who else will look after me but myself? If I cannot depend on myself, why, then should I depend on others?

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#75

QL ST1 DAY32

Nothing much to write about today really. Youngest is sick. Been puking since this morning with fever. Hopefully my other kids don’t catch it.

I actually don’t feel well. Nose is still full of mucus every now and then. Throat’s been itchy and I’ve been feeling rather weak. Feels like I’m just pushing myself just to get things done around the house lately.

Wife’s still having reconciliation. She’s still getting mad easily. At me, the kids, circumstances, anything under the sun! Somehow, I feel that it’s hard for her to reconcile the past, wherein she’s able to easily get what she wants, with the present wherein she has to decide whether or not what she wants is really important.

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#76

QL ST1 DAY33

Cold’s gotten worse. Had chills last night. Throat’s gotten itchier. Good thing no fever.

Wife’s reconciliation seems to be settling down. We had a minor fight last night because I woke her up. It’s not like I wanted her to wake up but I couldn’t breathe through my stuffed nose! However, today, although no apologies were made, it looks like she’s calmed down a bit.

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#77

QL ST1 DAY34

No chills. Just cough and cold. I’m not sure if it’s my medicine or it’s the subs or something else or a combination of any or all of the above, but I feel so frigging tired! Couldn’t help it, but took a 30 minute nap right after lunch. And then fell asleep in the car while waiting for my kids at school. Good thing I didn’t fall asleep driving or during our weekly meeting. Although, looking back, a part of me wished I dozed off during the meeting :sleeping::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:.

Wife’s reconciliation seems to be tapering down some more. Not lashing out anymore. More approachable and attentive. Although she says she’s also tired and sleepy. But it may also be that there’s a bug floating around our home. (Youngest was sick. I am sick. Maybe wife’s about to? Hopefully not)

Been looking at my LinkedIn profile. Thinking what can I add to attract recruiters better and at the same time, actually get hiring managers to want me.

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#78

Just an update. Thoughts of smoking keep popping up. It’s been more than 2 years since I smoked/vaped/stuck anything with nicotine. I just don’t know why I occasionally think about it.
Looking back, the cost of smoking is actually the reason why I stopped. Yet why am I thinking about it again?

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#79

QL ST1 DAY35

Wife and I still have cough and colds. Found it hard to get up early to get the kids ready for school.

Talked with my boss about that 1 project I proposed a while back. Turns out, it looks like his boss doesn’t want to handle it. And that we can’t get much upper management support. So maybe we’ll just let them decide to use 3rd party shit instead. I’m not saying that the vendor’s shit. But that given time (and maybe if we started 2 years ago), then maybe we can be even better than them.

So yeah. I’ll now be focusing on other projects. Don’t know if it’s good or bad.
Bad because it wouldn’t have much visibility given it’s only a project internal to the team. Good because I can shift my attention elsewhere.

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#80

QL ST1 DAY36 (early update)

I just had to write this down before I forget. Had a dream last night. Dreamed of my cousin. I just casually entered her home and started talking with all the people there even if I don’t know any of them. I’m not even close to my cousin let alone her kids and friends, so I find it weird to dream of her. I was not even dressed properly. Just in shorts, sleeveless shirt and flip flops.

Also this morning, while waiting at the assembly area with my kid at school, a mom casually approached us and said hi. Even reached out her hand towards my kid (who I was carrying at the time). Although we know her, it’s not really like we’re close family friends.

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