Darius Journal --

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Hello everyone,
I joined subclub a few months ago and ran some titles like wanted, wanted black, Khan, Spartan, LotS etc…
I got results, but yesterday I realized that I am not supposed to progress as fast as listening to full loops, even with much longer rest days. The reconciliation from the titles cause a lot of fatigue and irritation, I can keep those irritations controlled in social social contexts, but my results are slow overall and I think it’s best to progress in a linear manner rather than in a roller-coaster manner where you listen to a full loop, get that initial high, few days fo very low and then some results. I even think some results don’t express themselves completely when one doesn’t progress gradually or don’t have the necessary foundation.
Another thing that also happened was that the recon effects were translating in me doing my energetic practices wrong and then doing them again out of compulsion and overloading my system. Besides the subliminal recon, I haven’t reach that smoothness in the practice that I’m initiated into, so some recon.and I’m prone to messing it up, then doing it again and overloading my system or suffer the energetic alteration that happened due to the faulty practice until the next time.

When I realized that I should run a social program like Khan for at least 4 months or even more, I was really hit with this though that that’s a long time and if I want to run it and give my time to that archetype and I though whatever, it’s one of the most difficult title to run and you like it, so run it. So here’s my stack:

  • Khan ST1 and Khan Black ST1
    Today I ran 30 seconds of each and started my journey

I ran full loops of them and stage 4s before and there was heavy recon and not the results I wanted. So I quickly realized that I have to take it really slow and @yazooneh 'see journal really inspired me about this.

3 Likes
#2

So I live in one of my father’s houses and he’s a dictator and a very toxic person, hence he’s declining. So the situation is such that I have cats here and I don’t want to leave them and work for 12-13 hours with a common hostel and 3 meals a day. I want to stay here, get a job to go out and take action with Khan so that I can maintain the monthly money I get from my father, the place and a job. The main problem was the fact that my father doesn’t allow and want his children to flower so he doesn’t allow me to manage some of his business. He’s a very envious person and due to my past fuck ups we are not in contact anymore my relationship is good with my mom. It’s funny when I ran WB or SB me and my mom got distanced, and when I ran Khan me and my father got distanced by conflict, but ultimately it was my inability handle Khan since I had some issues which are solved with my spiritual practice initiation, but I was doing it wrong and didn’t get acclimated to it completely+overexposure. Had to work through some perfectionism Karma so that at least I do the practices correct and don’t sub hop and overexpose myself. I reached that level of integrity in my life. And it also doesn’t align with my aestethics as a Khan to call my father and fix the relationship, it has to happen organically.

And another problem was that this area is kinda remote and not many jobs are around here.

So I started searching for jobs around the area and found a 5 hours job with very flexible shedule and not a bad payment, the payment is definitely low, but I keep the house and my father’s monthly money payment and I can save all that money or spend it on whatever I want.

Thanks to my spiritual practices, my anxiety, depression and ADHD are completely gone but when I started to overexpose after a 20 days washout, the recon caused my to mess with my spiritual practices, and when one is initiated or there is and energetic intervention, then doing a Bhanda more even one time more than perscribed can overload the system.

Also ran a minute of paragon sleep to sleep sound tonight, because I want to wake up refreshed, do my practice and go to work.