Today i have had a major social break through. My roommate who moved in with me and i are very close friends. He is the type of guy that is very friendly and cool. Nothing truly remarkable but his sense of self is unparalleled. He is the type who can make friends and connections as easily as drinking water.
Today our discussions led to a major question:
I asked: If you wanted us to do something and i was going to say no to reject the idea, what answor would you prefer.
A: Sorry dude i dont feel like it.
B: Im sorry man today i did this and that and im very tired maybe another time.
He choose option B. Then i asked: you do realise that option B is just me bullshitting you.
He said yes i know but it feels better.
And that right there is what is holding me back. If someone Option Bs me about something i would cringe and feel disrespected as if i cant handle the truth but people dont tick the way i do. At least around here.
If im talking to someone its because im genuinly intrested because if i wasnt, i would not talk in the first place. With people though, i could never truly know since few have the guts to say what they mean and mean what they say.
After all this time. It wasnt because i lacked confidence, personality, respect, status or anything.
Im way too honest and ignorantly assumed that others should be like me. I mean how easy would it be to know that the people i talked to share something. We are talking after all. Why would anyone bother to pretend or bs just to be nice.
For the longest time i could not form connections with people since i never truly knew. I knew about me but not them.
So the solution he came up with for me is the following:
It takes two to tango, i should BS people and be much less direct. If i want an active social life and more than 3 friends at a time that is.
So stupid, so simple and unfortunatly this makes way too much sense. A breakthrough nontheless