Yes they all are (I am gonna use HoM again only when the zp ver is out). Thank you.
After taking two rest days I listened to one loop each of Emperor and RICH yesterday.
Was thinking maybe I should give Chosen From Within a chance. As mentioned before the reason I was hesitant about Chosen was because of to me thereâs a vast difference between others in need of my guidance and whether I am able to provide the correct advice that leads to a positive outcome. The sayings âThe blind leading the blind.â and âIt ainât what you donât know that gets you into trouble. Itâs what you know for sure that just ainât so.â Were my concern. Which Chosen From Within targets that specifically if I understand correctly.
Today I was in a comfy mood until I consumed too much caffeine, at least thatâs my take, I have been quite anxious. Anxiety makes my mind racing with negative scenarios and they in return keep anxiety alive.
I have this notion that only positive external manifestations are worthy of being journaled. Hard to see the value in intangible stuff with my sensing inclination. What is love without the acts, what is wealth without the materials. Which was one of the reasons I had difficulty with positive manifestation via Law of Attraction or Neville Goddard - first believe/see/feel the invisible, then it is visible - they are the opposite of my tendency. Another reason was it seems to me that they are âvictim blamingâ - a bad thing happens, you imagine that, you attract that, you are responsible for that.
I wonder if subs work more effective on intuition type, i. e. Less effective on sensing type. I already noticed that subs work better the younger the listeners are, and on those who already have than those who have not.
Unlike many users here, I donât dream much or at least itâs rare that I remember the whole thing, just occasionally a scene or impression here and there. Anyway, last night I dreamt of having a threesome but thatâs the boring part. In my dream I was half naked in an ancient Roman bath house, two dark haired females came my way, they were naked but that wasnât what caught my eyes - they were wearing human skin masks. The masks werenât horrendous by any means but they were made of human skin after all. I was taken aback until one of them invited me to join them in the bath. She took off the mask sexily on the water, her real face was pretty enough. That was enough to soothe the shock. Not to mention the other one guides me into the water with her body. Iâll have to stop here to keep this journal suitable to all readers.
Right insight at the right time. Just something I need to think about here too.
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Rest day today.
Was feeling negative the day before yesterday which was a rest day. Went to seek professional advice for an issue related to my family. Had a bleak outlook the whole day that day - life is full of ambushes. I am really tired of liars and schemers. I just canât warp my mind around why and how some people will decide to spend energy, time and resources to lies. The scene/voice of Melisandre in Game of Throne popped up - There is only one hell, the one we live in now. Aaron Swartz also crossed my mind.
Had been craving for RICH since the day before yesterday. When I finally got to listen to it yesterday, the satisfaction was so strong that resulted in an euphoria. Also listened to Emperor right after. Yesterday was alright.
Have been feeling and thinking negatively today, probably due to reconciliation. Or maybe itâs because I didnât get much sleep last night. Either way both related to me spending most of the night reading comics - Not being productive hence reconciliation or have been having reconciliation hence not productive.
Still considering if I should get Chosen From Within. If I am honest I have been having buyer remorse for Regeneration. I got it purely because of the reviews, how many recommended that it was a must for first sub, a good foundation for the future. If I observed correctly I didnât get the gain just got the pain (and hugely nothing). I also dislike how a healing sub may overpower other subs.
How long have you been running Regeneration?
Q2 version 20+ loops for around 5/6 months. Combined with HoM.
Today is the second day of my 7-day washout.
Yesterday started my day feeling slightly anxious, probably due to staying up late for the previous few nights.
I had this urge to drop Emperor. I couldnât tell if it was reconciliation or if itâs the ZP way of telling me Emperor was not right for me. Was pretty close to request a fund, thatâs how bad it was.
On second thought this urge of dropping might mean Emperor was working on me since I read that, apart from stonewalling, sometimes no reconciliation meant the starting point of one was too far away from the end result of a sub for one to relate to the scripts (e. g. Ascended Mogul causes reconciliation but not Emperor). This might or might not explain why I never had the urge of dropping RICH even though I ran it for two 21-day cycles.
Feeling better today even though once again I stayed up late.
Have this almost opposite feeling towards Emperor. I want to listen to it, not urgently just feel like doing so. If this keeps going I can foresee that listening to it after the washout will bring me euphoria.
I also have a push pull feeling towards Chosen From Within, one minute I am ready to get it next I âknowâ I will have buyer remorse. I need the positivity and love, but I donât want healing. Do I need it, sure, but I donât want it. It is my belief that the ruin in me is too great and too late to be healed, to be rebuilt, and even if it could be done, the contamination would always linger. Itâs not worth it. Really Itâs a raccoon city situation, what I want is a couple of bombs to wipe everything clean. It is more efficient this way. To throw the baby out with the bathwater is an acceptable solution at this stage of me. This may explain why Regeneration didnât gel with me and why I click with Total Breakdown when I read about it. If it ever came out as a standalone product I would get it.
Today is the 6th day of washout.
Subs are definitely being processed. Moods and thoughts swing like a pendulum. One moment I thought âwhy bother, all is lostâ, next moment I felt like I have backup and able to get the outcome I like. One moment I felt restless, next I was nonchalant (comparatively speaking).
For some reason I have this pull push reaction towards the Emperor line products - both Emperor and HoM. Consciously I donât feel any flaws to them but the urge of dropping them comes up from time to time. While the same urge didnât present itself when I was listening to Regen even though consciously I didnât like it.
The thirst for RICH is strong. I really want to listen to it as I have this strong faith that it will somehow help me overcome any wealth related obstacles. But I have to wait one more day to make sure my mind is well rested.
Have been halfheartedly semi experimenting to guide the direction of subs. Saint always said that for the subs to work, we had to open up pathways. No argue with that but the images and the difference between a maze and labyrinth popped up. Saintâs way is the maze, while I kinda go for the labyrinth.
Did 8 rest days instead of 7. For the current 21-days cycle, so far I listened 4 loops of RICH and 3 loops of Emperor. For this cycle I listen to subs before I sleep instead of the previous schedule when I listened to them after waking up.
The urge to drop Emperor was finally gone. Now I look forward to listening to it. Began to notice its effects, more wet dreams, and higher libido to the point where I lost my streak last night.
Another effect of Emperor I seem to notice is if for whatever reason I compromised my idea or want, no matter how small, to appease others, I became irritated or restless soon after. Fortunately, the irritation/restlessness lasted only for around 15 minutes.
Listening to RICH last night brought me euphoria and so much satisfaction. I have this strong belief that RICH works.
Now I am actually kinda glad that HoM ZP isnât available yet, this gives me more time and mental resources to Emperor and RICH. Even if HoM ZP comes out later, these two will be the only subs for this cycle.
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I couldnât resist the thought of more was better, so I listened to two loops of Emperor and one loop of RICH in one day on 7th Feb. The first two loops were done before bedtime, they were good since I woke up feeling quite good. Then I added the extra loop of Emperor and I could soon tell it was too much for my mind/head. Took two rest days after. The silver lining was at least I knew for sure that I was processing subs, i,e. subs were working on me.
Downloaded HoM ZP yesterday but will only listen to it after the current cycle finishes, which will happen on 18th Feb.
I found that listening to subs before bedtime suits me, just feel like the subs are better absorbed this way. Will continue doing so for the next cycle.
When I first started the ZP journey (RICH ZP solo at that time), I had this urge to pick up Wanted but decided against it since for one my priority was wealth, two while during that period I became insecure about my appearance in general I was okay with it. Yet these days I began to think there might be a deeper reason for me to have that urge, it wasnât necessary due to body image issue, it was because 1. Wanted would bring me fast results, and that in returned would indirectly speed up other subs manifestation. 2. I had unconscious needs/aims that Wanted could manifest. Having typed all this, I am not gonna pick up Wanted in a foreseeable future, especially since, to me, Emperor has some of the benefits of Wanted plus wealth scripts. Not to mention I am happy listening to Emperor ZP these days.
Out of all the objectives of Emperor, I found those somewhat related to Wanted worked most noticeable. Since I began listening to it, my appetite increased ~20-30%. My sex drive went up. Girls gave me a second look, some tried to get my attention, a couple of them did so while their boyfriend was next to them.
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Decided to end the current cycle few days early, today is the last day of it. I always end the last day of each cycle with 3 loops of ZP, no difference for this cycle, two loops of Emperor, one loop of RICH. Plan to take 5 rest days instead of the usual 7 rest days I previously took.
Will probably start a new journal since I will likely pick up Limit Destroyer as my third sub instead of HoM.
For the last two listening sessions, subs kept me awake at night. Before I slept okay after listening to subs, then that just happened out of the blue. Maybe the energetic scripting in RICH/limitless physical energy in Emperor is showing? I remember reading some Q(1 and 2) reviews that Emperor would push you to do something, anything but sitting around, this seemed to be the case, for example I spent many hours went through posts related to Limit Destroyer (and a couple others that I was interested in but concluded that the benefits were not holistic enough for me to get it now).
Since this is likely the last post of this journal, I will type out things that went through my mind during the cycles but never felt like writing down here. I have this issue with spending money - I have this need to spending it âcorrectlyâ. It probably stemmed from my family lectured me when I spent the money, even to those I found were good causes. My biological dad would always ask why I would rather give out the money to strangers/outsiders (beggars, my friends who ran away from home etc.) instead of giving (all) back to the family, and whoâs gonna help us or if they would do the same for me. My mom would tell me that non profit organizations were a scam, or that they were wealthy so it didnât make sense for a kid like me to give my money to them. Unfortunately I have to say she was right given what I know now, and that strengthened her reasoning. Then I read about the difference between being able to pay for something vs being able to afford it, and that further disconcerted me, cause if I followed that to a tee, I often concluded that I couldnât afford many things, even SubClub products.
Anyway. This weekend I went to this local mini charity event with about ten to a dozen stalls. Guess which stall was the most popular by a huge margin; it was the animal shelter. Second was the girl scouts. To me it seemed almost like people had no hope/compassion/patience for humanity. Canât blame them since animal shelter was my (only) choice too.
Did half cycle of Emperor ZP and RICH Ultima, and am taking a 5-day washout. The half cycle went like this-2 loops of Emperor on day 1, took 2 off days, then 1 loop of RICH Ultima on 4th day, followed by 2 off days, rinse and repeat. Compared this cycle to the previous cycles, I noticed that for me overall the more powerful the results were, the more severe the side effects.
RICH Ultima was the main reason I took an early washout. I had no noticeable side effect with RZP, yet I got headache and my head felt âstuffedâ after RU. The 2 off days were especially useful for RU since it did take that much time for me to recover. I ran it because I wanted to shake things up without changing my stack, I also wanted to see the booster effect, i.e. the fast external manifestation. What happened was the morning after I first ran it, an product that I had been searching to no avail came up during my search, and it was exactly what I wanted. While I liked the effectiveness of RU, the negative side effect was uncomfortable. I got earaches after the second listening even with low volume (1-2 levels out of 30 levels with Dolby on). The side effects likely came from ultrasonic, but it could also be reconciliation. The nature of booster worked by pushes hard and fast in a direct way, which would be great if there was no roadblock. The more roadblocks the more crashes.
For Emperor ZP, the productivity disappeared with the more off days route even though I ran two loops at once. For the previous cycles, I was at least âproductiveâ for my interests/hobbies, now I just had no drive for anything at all. My appetite decreased too. For the previous cycles my appetite would always increase when I listened to Emperor (decreased during washout), now with two off days my appetite was noticeably less than when I ran it with one off day. Now that I tried two off days, I also realized that Emperor with one off day seemed to enhance my negative self talk. I donât know if the following was due to two off days, listening to 2 loops back to back or Emperor finally began to settle in my mind, i.e. the accumulation of previous cycles. I planned an event in a most cost efficient way. But due to my scattered mind I failed to follow through. With situation like what usually happened was first my negative self talk popped up coupled with an overwhelming regretful feeling, then I kept replaying the scene wishing I had done differently. No difference this time EXCEPT a voice told me âNo point to keep looking back, what happened happened. Focus on how to make the best of the situation as much as you are able to/with the resources you have.â Just like that while the above still happened, the feelings were not as negative and I was able to let go much easily.
Like which ones? Besides Neville? Even if it is from religion or whatever.