Again, you seem to be rushing things. As I’ve mentioned before, breathe. Don’t forget to breathe. Take very deep breaths.
And then look at your goals, both long term and near term. Then assess each one of them, based on how important they are to you. From there, plan your steps. Write them down if you must, or talk to your dad. Based on your journal and everything else you have posted, you seem to feel a lot of pressure regarding this family business of yours. Before continuing, ask yourself, would this make you happy? If so, then talk to your dad, uncles, family, not some random shmuck in an anonymous forum who doesn’t know what your business is about.
We can give advice, but it’s all useless if we don’t really know the who, where, what, why and how about everything going on.
So talk to those who know. But before all else, breathe deeply and relax. Ask them for advice. Then think about your next step. Then the next. Then the next. Avoid over analyzing stuff. Simply taking baby steps may seem to take too long, but if you keep taking baby steps, pretty soon you’ll still reach your goal.