Been married for a while, but with some things you kind of stay a noob for life. Or at least I do.
So, this is not, strictly speaking, advice per se. More along the line of opinions.
For example:
Opinion #1: If a woman is ‘rewarding me’ with sex, then something is very, very wrong. (and just for transparency and clarity here, there are definitely times in my life when something is very, very wrong. 
).
But, overall, I want sexual interaction with a woman to be something that she wants to do and I want to do. I’m talking on balance. There will always be times when one person wants it more than the other.
Opinion #2: Sexual energy and its expression goes deeper and encompasses more than just interactions with a lover. It’s about an energized, vital, creative relationship with life and with the world. It’s fundamentally an expression of your own nature. But one of the great places where it’s specifically expressed is in mental, spiritual, and physical interactions with a lover.
Opinion #3: As such, the issue is more about finding your own personal style, comfort zones, and growth areas regarding social interaction in general. This is going to be what influences the flow of people into and out of your life. It’s going to involve an entire spectrum of energetic stimulation and interaction; sexual energy will constitute one section (or range) of that broader spectrum.
Opinion #4: Giving, receiving, saying ‘yes’, saying ‘no’, enjoying learning, enjoying mistakes, dealing with negative emotions, and so on. These are the basic building blocks. We work with them within ourselves, and also between ourselves and other people. Whether in matters of love and attachment, or in matters of business, or of conversation and debate; all social interactions are going to involve exercising and expanding our comfort with these skills and actions.
Opinion #5: You do not have to win. Getting into a relationship and even having lots of bunny rabbit sex is not winning. Different people may view the exact same situations as winning, losing, or neither based on their vantage point in life.
I remember being 22 and getting with this girl I thought was great. My flatmate who was 20 years older thought it was great too, until he saw me cooking some dinner for her, and then later I told him, ‘Yeah, I’m going to visit her family this summer.’ He became horrified. I could almost see his mouth shaping the words, ‘Don’t go in there!!’.
hahaha.
Anyway, those are some opinions. I’ve definitely left out a lot. But that’s some stuff.
