I realised I really struggle with being vulnerable , I am afraid of putting myself out there, of being vulnerable in front of people be it socially, physically or emotionally. What sub can solve this problem?
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So this is an insecurity?
What are you afraid will happen if you are vulnerable?
You won’t be accepted, you may be judged and disliked, maybe even rejected…?
This is what I am afraid of
For fear of judgment or rejection I’d recommend LoveBomb or LBfH.
As within so without. People are mirroring your own feelings. When there are parts of your personality you judge, dislike or reject, you project this aura of “Parts of me/I deserve judgment, dislike and rejection”.
So you get what you ask for. If you can start to love yourself completely, it won’t be a matter anymore.
Outside of subs, you could try a shadow integration approach to accept, love, heal and transform these shadowy parts of you, you dont like. “Existential Kink” is an excellent book for this topic. The most radical approach I’ve seen so far.
Complementary you could try subs like True Social or Dare Devil for your social life.
Perhaps even Ascension.
But I deeply believe, that the best approach would be to tackle the root cause and that’s, me guessing from what you wrote, a lack of self love.
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Bro wtf is this book ? I start reading and I start seeing all my past destructive patterns. Thanks a lot for recommending this! Much much gratitude!!
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I feel you.
I read about this book in November, but didn’t start reading it till a month ago. It was so eye opening. I even started translating it into German because it was to complicated for my fiancee.
And by translating it, I understood it even more.
The author says, it needs some time to be able to acknowledge these kinky desires and feel the sensations in a positive way. But, it might be due to the subs I’m using (KB and Phoenix), I was able to feel it immediately.
I almost lost a tooth one day. First there was pure anxiety and panic. But I was able to feel the rush of electricity pulsing through my veins a few seconds later.
I’m still procrastinating on doing the meditation on a daily basis, but still.
BTW, I can recommend doing guides meditations like this one
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Oh a meditation. Sweet!
Excellent book.
I just did a cycle of Stark Black & Phoenix which led me to becoming very vulnerable with people I used to not feel safe being that way with. I feel all the previous titles I’ve listened to have become more integrated into my being with the support of Phoenix.
I did also read Existential Kink before the holidays.
Is there any benefit in being or appearing vulnerable?
Ya it allows you to talk to people ig
Can you define vulnerable, the way you understand it? We might have different definitions.
I feel it promotes deeper connection and healthy attachment. Oxytocin love hormones. Etc.
Revealing your sensitive side. Being comfortable to express your feelings. Crying in front of them and welcoming comfort.
I used to feel it was dangerous and would be used against me. A sign of weakness.
You might as well carefully pick the people you’re vulnerable with because some people will 100% use it against you. Unless it’s someone I already have a solid healthy relationship with, I don’t see the point of opening my personal feelings. This is not about weakness, it’s about keeping your personal stuff to yourself. Similarly, I quickly get tired of people who come talk about their personal stuff unless it’s someone I already have a great relationship with. In a nutshell, it’s the pre-existing relationship that allows OCCASIONAL vulnerability. Not the vulnerability that creates the relationship. I really don’t need to start a relationship with someone who’s going to dump their problems or trauma on me because they think “being vulnerable” is courage. I already have my own stuff to deal with. I don’t need to know about anyone else’s. Unless you’re already a good friend or a family member.
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Yeah for me it’s relating specifically to my closest relationships. I most certainly have no interest dumping my shit onto other people.
That isn’t how I see vulnerability at this stage of my life but I understand what you’re saying!
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Good for you! 
That was a trend in marketing a few years ago. People telling their sob stories online because “vulnerability” supposedly makes them relatable. I lost count of the people who recounted their divorce, their trauma, or their miserable childhood to perfect strangers on Facebook or Instagram so they could sign a few people to their courses or sell a membership. The trauma porn is just as bad as the poverty porn.
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reminds me of the “selective honesty” method from 48 laws of power.
Technically, your honesty with other people doesnt even need to be true or say anything that actually happened in order to gain others hearts a bit more. It can definitely be used as an effective tool.
I took the definition from the book Models -
Making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, introducing yourself to a group of people you don’t know, telling a woman that you like her and want to date her. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way. You’re making yourself vulnerable when you do them.
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