Being too Masculine or not, that is the question

Questions and Comments
#1

Today on my way back home from the gym, in a coffee shop, I saw a very beautiful woman caressing her boyfriend.

The boyfriend was a masculine only man, but looked like an heartless man (very serious, no smile). I surely don’t identify with those men. I have masculine and feminine aspects, I’m aggressive, but I’m a good person, I can put on a smile.

I don’t know why I keep seeing that only those men get the women. Might this be influence from the Ascension? Or is it coming from bad and old programming from my mind? Because I don’t agree with this at all! Think about Rock Stars. They also have feminine traits. They have long hair, and they sing! And Women can’t have enough of them!

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#4

Masculinity has nothing to do with not smiling. I usually feel sorry for those dudes. Imagine living in a mental space where smiling is seen as a weakness.

Smiling has nothing to do with being feminine either.

Only you can tell but it’s very possible that you’re not looking at high-quality, secure or mature women. There are a lot of immature women who are only attracted to those insecure fake tough guys who are unable to smile because if they don’t look hard, people could think that they’re weak.
Observe different types of women and you will see different men.

Having long hair doesn’t have anything to do with being masculine or feminine either.

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#5

OK, so everyone has at least some feminine energy. Thanks for that info, and nice to learn that.

The human body has about 600 muscles and the face has about 60 of them. All of them are used to express the body language, and that together with the person’s behaviour tells us about how the person feels (for example where the person is in the masculine/feminine spectrum for that moment). Or it can be seen as an aura too.

I risk saying that I’m very good at analysing the stated above, and I could see that during that moment that man was totally masculine.

I could also see his type of friends, the reputation of the place where he was drinking, I analysed that and much more to bring my conclusions, and I don’t agree in having done a superficial analysis as you’re saying I did.

Of course that by talking to the person we will learn more about them.

You can also tell me that society conditioning have made wrong associations in my brain concerning what is considered masculine or feminine, like being serious, or having long hair, etc., and that is something that I should read about, to be able to understand what really are masculine or feminine traits.

Reading this https://www.voicesofyouth.org/blog/masculinity-and-femininity, looks to define what is considered masculine and feminine, but then my conclusion is: if it’s good for people to possess both the masculine and feminine traits, and if masculinity is defined as qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of men or boys (masculinity definition - Google Search), then all traits are masculine (even the feminine ones), or all traits are feminine (even the masculine ones), or there is no such thing as a masculine/feminine trait, they are just qualities that every person can have.

#7

True. It’s very context dependent like most of human life. A charming smile can go a long way in a business meeting and negotiation, while I probably wouldn’t smile at someone I was going to fight unless I was supremely confident I am going to knock their head off, which would just be a version of intimidation. Though, smiling moves points in whatever context it is in, as it’s a powerful tool that is versatile.

#8

You should read the book “The Way Of The Superior Man” to understand a more grounded sense of true masculinity.

What you’re describing seems like machismo-esque behavior… stoic, unfeeling, reserved, dominant, harsh, militant,

WHY IS HEARTLESS = MASCULINE?

Heartless just means traumatized.

Or, as Luther24 pointed out, you’re just reading into it because you didn’t see him express an emotion at that time and all the old stories and programming about what a man “Should” be came back out.

Similarly, what a silly view point of “feminine.”

Masculine men are allowed to feel. Feminine men can have extremely short hair, militant aesthetics, etc.

You’re describing gender norms from the 1960’s to early 1990’s, not genuine masculinity/femininity.

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#9

I read the introduction of the book and there was a phrase that makes me think this book is not for me:

The Way of the Superior Man is a book written explicitly for people who have already
achieved respect for other genders and sexual preferences, and who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals.

I respect Women and other sexual preferences.
Social equals: they are except that the Man is dominant in case of conflict most of the times.
Economic equals: generally I believe Men make more money than Women, because in general Men have a better performance.
Political equals: I believe Women should have the same rights as Men and the same opportunities. But I don’t believe Women can be as good managers as Men in general, so in the top hierarchies you’re going to find much more Men than Women.

So in summary, I like powerful Women and with some masculine traits, but I like my relationships to be 60/40 in terms of power (60% of power to the Man), because I think in a couple there has always to be someone who has the last word in case of conflict.

There has to be someone who is the leader, and who has a line of thought that is followed, otherwise things can become a big mess.
Maybe I just didn’t find so far a Woman with competence at my level to work with me in all areas in life as my equal, but my intuition says that even if I find such a Woman, that Woman won’t make me happy, because then she would be more masculine than feminine.

Having said this, I think reading this book would be a waste of time, since the author says the book is not for me, unless I read it just to understand what are his definitions of masculinity and femininity (and supposing and hoping these definitions are not subjective ones), and that’s why I would like your opinion.

Thanks

Edit: If you look at sports records, Men’s records are superior, in professions the most competent person in the world in every profession I can think of is a Man, even in professions considered feminine, like Chefs, Fashion Designers, or Psychologists (this does not mean Women are not competent).

#10

Bruh, your head is filled with too many unnecessary thoughts.

Empty the cup first.

If you feel like it’s too much work to read the whole book just Because you don’t agree with the introduction

Then listen to a 10 minute summary, If you agree with even one of his points, its your gain

Here’s a summary:

if you like anything in the summary then you can read the book to understand deeper.

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#11

Hey SuperSaiyan,

I’ve read your reflections on masculinity and femininity, and I understand where you’re coming from. It seems like you’re contemplating with deep-seated beliefs about what defines masculinity and how that influences attraction.

Being a man isn’t just about being tough or dominant…it’s also about being emotionally aware, empathetic, and genuinely connecting with women.

Those controlling, jerk-like behaviors might initially attract attention and pick up a girl. But in reality, the ones who stay with him are often those dealing with their own insecurities or unresolved issues, seeking validation in unhealthy dynamics. A guy who only displays superficial aspects of alpha behavior without emotional depth and connection is merely a facade, masking his insecurities and emotional issues.

The Way of the Superior Man is a challenge to redefine masculinity in today’s world. It encourages embracing your unique qualities, instead of conforming to stereotypes. Even if you initially disagree with some points, the book can broaden your understanding and open doors to new ideas. Remember, don’t judge a book by its cover, or its first page.

Reading things you may not agree with opens your mind to different viewpoints and helps you understand things better. It’s about challenging your perspectives, and gaining deeper selfawareness.

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#12

That is a very important thing, otherwise you just try to find echos of your own opinion instead of diving deeper into other opinions to find out what could be true and why you repel that opinion.

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#13

Thanks guys, I will read the book. :wink:

In the introduction the author is selective about his readers more than once, so I was afraid to waste my time, but I agree with you guys, even if we don’t agree with the points in the book it broadens our perspectives, and it will enhance my results.

And I must also not forget that more important than reading the book is to keep taking action :sweat_smile:

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