AzrielLight EmperorQ

Journals - Major Programs
#1979

Ran Emperor custom today (Emperor, PCC, IC, PS)

Got off the loop and on a work call- wow-it went amazing -total confidence, focus, and effective communication.

Had about an hour of feeling like really great after the custom- then got some strong tiredness and now it’s leveling out. I’m thinking clear, feeling physical better. This is good. I think I’m starting to get a handle on QV2 with the right listening schedule and actions.

As I’m writing this I got a text that my marketing campaign closed a new client for someone- this clients sign on for a year at $20K/year- I get paid for the campaign but not the cut on that. There pretty route campaigns so I can’t justify commission with it but I’m glad the work is bringing in results.

I started therapy with a psychoanalyst although we are just doing talk therapy, not psychoanalysis. It’s really powerful to just being able to share the ugly stuff and talk through it and work on life plans in a meaningful way.

This deeper Emperor sense of having power to deal with things for real and make real change and movement in my life is shining forth again subtly but surely. I have not experienced it like today in quite some time, maybe I just really needed to sludge through some recon.

Enjoying journal daily, so the journey continues.

I want to do something awesome tonight, lets see what happens.

6 Likes
#1980

So I’m attempting to discern my experience with QV2 more and more and what I find
is a race between the strength of the results and the strength, but subtly, of the recon.

I got a couple on and off hours in of some real Emperor umphh…and then a heavy dose of tiredness and anxiety. I never got anxiety on Q the way I get it on QV2, perhaps I benefited greatly from the extra comfy alpha and healing programming.

Whatever the case I took an hour walk into the night

What I believe is happening is I’m dealing with the recon from the actual Emperor program now, rather than the healing/alpha program on Q. It’s almost like I am starting from square one although not really since I feel fundamentally like a different person after essentially 18 months on subs (17 including washout month)

Some definite things to note

extra attention/deference and interest from people I work with-proactive reaching out on there part. Both opening the door for potential new opportunities. This almost never happens.

I’ve been wanting/ thinking strongly about finding a new place, and my mom at one of her auditions found literally a perfect place for me to move into and exchanged info with a real estate guy who was in the lobby with her.

bumping into a friend when I was going to lug some shit to home depot and back right before I ordered and Uber and he offered to take me there and back in his pick up truck.

It’s so weird, internally I feel both Emperor strength alongside a kind of childlike fear and vulnerability- reconciliation is literally playing out like I’m occupying two ways of being at once. The childlike part feels unsupported and the universe is literally bending over backwards to hand me things and make things easy lol.

This all happened within a 24 hour period and in each instant -within an hour of me thinking about what I wanted or needed to have happy.

Soo trippy

9 Likes
#1981

Tuesday Ran another loop of Emperor custom.
Took wed and Thursday off intuitively. Continue to be pulled to be proactive in my free time,
reading, getting my drivers license (nyc kid so never had that), studying courses on career choice and business creation. I keep manifesting ‘perfect’ type of woman where ever I go.
Made some major progress with outstanding medical stuff which I don’t want to go into detail right now.

Since QV2 part of my recon, is this part of me that is terrified and feels unsafe in life comes up, I was feeling that strongly before bed time and lay down, I had this semi lucid dream where I was in a kitchen with this guy who was walking me through how to be in life,like a good friend supporting me. Then I had this thought what would it be life to experience life from this guys perspective, he was so strong, and capable seeming, then I become transported into his experience and felt this mixture of deep consciousness, total freedom, and insane drive, then I realized this guy was the Emperor and that I was this guy lol. Never had such a clear subconscious dream in relation to sub content

Running Paragon custom tonight.

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#1982

That’s exactly what I was thinking as I read it.

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#1983

Azriels journal is so full of insights and teachings- boomarked!

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#1984

took another week of subs except for one loop of paragon custom.
I’m just playing things slowly and intuitively as I deal with vestiges
of life challenges. I bounced back to a very vulnerable place with what’s been arising
and have not been in the conditions to act on Emperor custom as strongly so thought it best to not cause any extra turmoil with programming I couldn’t/wouldn’t act on.

I’m keeping it vague cause I don’t want to go into details now but do want to keep journaling

I really miss consistency with running the subs and this could be a kind of recon, but I doubt it. More just a realistic sense of what’s right for the moment.

I will be getting and trying Sage Immortal this week, as I think it will be perfect resolving or giving perspective on some of the healings I am going through.

What sticks with me with Emperor and PCC, from custom, is focusing on what matters, dealing with what matters, and navigating social situations masterfully. I’ve never before seen the calling and needing for internal work to move forward in my life as strongly as now.

what is no longer as strongly with me when I run it less consistently, is internal strength, drive, and acting on ambition.

I am also clearer and clearer on what matters, and focusing on what is purposeful, and feel this internal phase will give rise to a massive positive shift soon.

6 Likes
#1985

On QV2 I’ve been averaging 1 or 2 loops total of 1 or 2 titles per week (Emperor and Paragons customs) the last well-basically 2 months.

It’s a very different kind of progress, it’s less a feeling based drive and more real changes are subtly clicking into place. I’ve been thinking I’m not even really running subs, but deep profound changes are indeed still happening as I look back. Not the overt internal feelings or external confirmation in immediate social reactions/attraction but definitely a slow and steady course correction, relationship building. I’ve lost about 20 lbs of extra weight. I no longer feel or care about people’s reactions or attraction to me or not, my focus is more both long term and more what can I do day to day.

I’ve also been experiencing layers and layers releasing of anxiety-like I am dying-or that my life is over (not necessarily recon or sub’s effect but maybe that plays apart, more just dealing with some deep internal stuff + major life changes given the pandemic’s latest iterations or I should say the pressure and semi-fixed perspective that I currently ascribe to about the pandemics latest iterations. (note: not an invitation for political commentary on said situation as I believe the ruling on this forum is to refrain from said discussions )

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#1986

How is your ear?

1 Like
#1987

between running subs less, paragon custom with APS ear and coming off that medication about a month ago, it is a very minor issue to non-issue these days. Thanks for asking.

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#1988

I just ran my custom Emperor for the first time this week
and it felt smooth. On my walk to the store I had this determined insight to pull $5000 in the next two weeks-I just set the intention

I came home and was doing a little financial audit of my bills and debts and found the IRS gave me almost half a grand direct deposit. I have already gotten my tax refund previously and thanks to my stellar account paid very little on taxes. Turns out it was some kind of referendum for people they though paid to much in taxes.

I’m going to chalk this up to a wealth manifestation.

#building the muscle of recognizing results, manifestations, and power of intention.

6 Likes
#1989

Last loop was Emperor custom two days ago, took two days off intuitively
Crazy recon the next day but was still able to execute based on intention and plans flawlessly

I’ve been taking hour long walks at midnight to burn off energy, since I can’t go to the gym, and don’t want the intensity strain of body weight or home weight workout.

I really enjoy these walks, I’m in an area of NYC full of mansions of trees for about a mile all around, and there are endless discoveries on these hot nights, with a nice breeze, and beautiful moonlight.

Anyway today was on point again, back to back intentional, conscious work and progress all day, and then a lovely social evening with my brother.

I had a super authentic convo with my work partner about becoming an accredited professional to be able to move directly into the financial side of the business and will be pursuing that.

I’m also settled on starting coaching professionally again, it won’t be a ’ hussle’ but a passion project from a place of zero need that could bring in new income streams. It will be a business for sure, but the ‘why’ behind it will be because I love doing it and to be of service.

The gentleman who sources my marketing work has been a bit hard to get hold of, so that’s still up in the air.

I need one more definitive non-accredited avenue to pursue for an income stream which I’m clarifying currently still.

I am also looking into graduated programs in psychology and operational psychology.

Will start a new Emperor or Stark custom -likely with wanted and heartstrong in October.

I dropped the ball on DR and am seriously considering just letting stage 3 and 4 go until a time where I have more space to go deeply into healing. It’s a tough choice because on one hand it’s just what I need but on the other hand, I can’t afford to be in anymore difficult recon or have anymore introspection, lack of external focus than I already have.

3 Likes
#1990

Maybe you can just take it as a very long washout and integration period.

I was just thinking this morning that I prefer to think of it as, in running Dragon Reborn, I’m running 4 separate but related subliminals: Fire, Blood, Flight, and Reborn. (My mind has been sliding into that future-focused infantry forced-march mentality. Like: ‘Oh well, guess I’ll have to wait until next June when this is all over for any changes and improvements to happen.’ And I don’t think that’s necessary or accurate. Anyway, that’s my own stuff; I digress.)

So, maybe the changes of DR1 and DR2 are real and will deepen and integrate during this period. Then, when the time’s right, you’ll be even readier to continue.

1 Like
#1991

Yes, I appreciate this view, and it’s more holistic to see it as running two programs previously
then dropping the ship mid-stream. Still thinking of it like previous stage modules from years past.

I ran stage 1 and 2 of dragon reborn for about 10 weeks each and I’m sure the integrations have been taking place.

I noticed this too when doing heavy stacking, it’s one of ‘traps’ of the territory, but also a positive feature in that it means your already assuming patience and long term thinking. The shadow of which may show up as not expecting, noticing, or even acting for results now…depending on each unique situation.

1 Like
#1992

Ran 1 loop of custom Paragon last night and 1 loop of custom Emperor today

Results from Paragon custom - general well being, great sleep, feeling safe. I definitely get some energetic/tingling effects going on which I’ve now discerned are from this custom. I get initial increase in pain in some areas and then a lessening within 24 hours. I have been a bit panicky about current situations and whether Paragon, stress displacement and/or negative energy transmutation or some synergy is effecting it, I feel more whole and integrated after running this.

For Emperor custom I ran 1/2 hour traveled and then ran another 1/2 hour to complete the loop.
This is not recommended but I do this sometimes.

After the first 1/2 hour felt a great mix of myself with the flavors benefits of the sub, Mind was super clear and focused, assertiveness was on point, and crazy chemistry and eye contact with woman out and about.

After the second 1/2 hour a bit of recon, not knowing where to put my energy, and some general hyper vigilance. The vigilance from Emperor has been invaluable for detail oriented work and covering all bases on complex or multi-faceted issues, but when the focus is turned on concerns or anxieties during recon it can bump up the volume a bit. I noticed this diminishing as I run this sub again more consistently.

5 Likes
#1993

I’ve been running about 1 loop a week of a 10 module custom and a 20 module custom.
Paragon and Emperor customs respectively.

I find with the new QV2 build the power comes days after, when the shaken glass has settled.
I’ve mentioned before about grappling and dealing with issues and goals and making progress on them in a way that is almost out of necessity, I’m continuing to move things that historically have not progressed and are now progressing. And I’m staying with things until they are resolved or progressed on, rather than distracting myself, acquiring more knowledge when action is needed, avoiding etc.

I like the low loops -I am dealing with less recon and I am taking a lot more action, part of that is also not relying on subs to move or change anything, but at the same time still giving myself a dose of the healthy subliminal input. I don’t think 1 loop a week is enough for the speed of results I am looking to ramp up to but it definitely creates positive personal changes, new actions, and overall shifts with stability…slow and steady.

I have way more tricky recon on the new build-in terms of concern about running subs and a stronger pull to run subs less and at times not run them at all. Recon being best defined as something that has you want to not run subs.

I’ve found the 1 loop of each title/custom I’m using a week is a good speed for me for now, and if feels right to gradually increase that. I will be testing with increasing that to two loops each custom/title I am running in the coming weeks.

I’m also moving towards being super specific with what I run and having it be tightly designed to fit my goals. I will write more about this in the coming weeks for stack and custom design sharing and feedback.

I will also be doing test days of Ascended Mogul in QV2, Sage Immortal, and Stark QV2

9 Likes
#1994

some specific updates

I’m normally the first to attribute results to subs but I’m going to engage in a little more skepticism here.
To see and monitor if these are good fits for me.

With paragon custom I noticed my overall health has improved blood pressure down, breathing feels better, and I take care of my health more poignantly . Emotionally and mentally I feel I am on a path to being someone whose health strong and is the background and not something to need to constantly attendant to. I notice a gradual increase in healing but not at the level faster then expected or suggested by doctors for certain injuries. My ear issue is significantly better and I believe the custom has contributed partially as has running less loops and being in less recon generally.

I do get both old and new pains for 24 hours after running Paragon custom, which used to and still at points freaks me out a bit, but so far it subsides within 24 hours. Part of this recon manifests as uncertainty about running subs, like ‘why is this happening’ and not knowing what to expect and concerns from physical recon. I feel this is important to journal as part of my process. I also get increase anxiety about health and physical issues for several days after running Paragon custom that gestalts at moments to feeling totally great and carefree about it-about a 60-40 split in favor of the recon.

Emperor custom - I find after 1 loop for the rest of the week my thinking changes greatly and I find myself looking and acting to succeed in both dating and financially in a way I really like. This builds as the week goes on, starting with a kind of frustration at where to put my energy and then a gradual increase in clarity to knowing and doing exactly the things that move me forward, even if only a little bit at a time.

I have my healing custom with my full name and the Emperor custom with my nickname…I’m wondering if using my nickname is better as I relate to it more, or the full name goes deeper and has deeper recon.
I’ve also been running Emperor custom longer which obviously helps the smoothness.

3 Likes
#1995

How about your ear?

#1996

Same 90% better, with the custom I am running and keeping the loops low.
I’ll be upping the loops and seeing how things/recon in general goes in the next few weeks.

3 Likes
#1997

I had an amazing realization today that I want to embody.

My energy and focus has been managing and concern for current work while I build/create new income streams. I don’t need to focus on that. The work is easy at this point and will take care of itself. My ‘concern’ has to be creation.

This shifts my mental energy from the old to the new.

I’m starting to love the Paragon custom at this point- aside from some weird physical recon the day of running it’s fairly easy to run. It makes me feel alive, healthy, and surprisingly horny and alpha

Emperor custom puts me in god mode/zone for about two hours after running and then some real recon with anxiety, agitation etc for about a day after and then I click into integration and this natural expression of the sub.

I’m constantly thinking and looking for how to expand my life and move through what’s been stuck, or how to grow.

I reconnected with an old client who will %99 sign on with me for athletic training again- which I haven’t done in years, for $460-$1000 a month - I’m happy to get paid $100 an hour for a day or two working outside home a week. He really wants it as well. It could open up the door to more clients as well. I can work in the day and train people at night and double my income while I build savings more, pay off debt, and invest.

that said

I’m really looking for how to get out of small money, and side hustle mode. I do well for myself especially with the level of ease and freedom I have around work, but I’d rather be working my ass off for big payoffs for myself, or a great culture, than what I have. I’m looking more and more how to do higher leverage work while also bringing in the money I can.

My goals are really clear,-wealth, amazing romantic relationships, fitness and health. I find success in one of these feeds the other strongly so I’m not putting anything to the side. I’ll find a way to address them all successfully. My focus may veer more strongly into one then the other but it’s important to come back to addressing all of them.

Paragon custom causes minimal recon-but my sinus/ear issues act up the day of and the day after Emperor custom. So after a washout for a month and the 1 loop per title a week protocol I’m 100% clear there is, not necessarily a cause, but a correlation. Ce La Vie- I’ve learned it comes and goes fairly easily, and is less and less of an issue, so I will proceed with my upping the loop plan as intended.

I’ve been pretty much out of commission until recently, and now feeling a really strength sense and energy of my best self again and excited to see what new lands can be conquered.

9 Likes
#1998

Test ran 1 loop AM this week.
What happened since is likely bloom from Emperor custom with an AM focus
the last few days my focus has been completely on moving things that have not moved in my career and with income streams.

A series of events (and upsets) happened that all culminated in my increasing focus on this area. Including a friend a hadn’t seen in a while asking to take a walk with me and then speaking with me for 2 hours until I really got my own bullshit (in the best way) around circling things rather than doing things.

I didn’t see my value, I wasn’t asking for what I wanted. I still don’t see my value at that job but I knew I couldn’t stay in the same boat any longer and was fine being honest with that.

So I had a many hour conversation with the person responsible for me at work. I created detailed trajectory to address everything that he was looking for, for most of it and then at the end basically was completely authentic without any blame. I said I wasn’t clear with the value I brought and didn’t know if I could fill the role he was looking for but would give everything to the opportunity, and after several years, I needed more money to do a better job now, and clear structure for financial incentives with that new role. I said he could demote me or fire me if it didn’t work, I wouldn’t take anything personal, but at this point those were the things I needed. I said I would do right by him and the company but for my own trajectory these were things I needed to be clear on. I asked for double what I make in the short term and clear ways to make much much more than that long term. He said hes looking to do all those things in the next month. Let’s see what happens.

Next looking to do similar high leverage big steps, in a different way, with the other work I have

6 Likes