Azriel-The Chosen One

Journals - Major Programs
#21

Did just one loop of Chosen this week

I don’t know if Chosen has physical shifting and it seems it does to some degree

My body feels and looks totally different, not working out currently and I am getting more tapered.
My muscle seems tense and more taught like steel.

I can feel the Alpha Leadership effects strongly in certain situations.
I find myself stepping up in situations with classmates (in the online school I am in) to run groups and book clubs and everybody thanking me for my leadership and organization.

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#22

Same to you brother

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#23

Resuming Chosen tomorrow

took time off to test if recon/or evenphysical shifting was causing certain effects/tensions.
Perhaps small correlation but not concerned.

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#24

Yes chosen does have physical shifting scripting.

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#25

Yes, very clearly when I run Chosen, nearing the 10-minute mark I get tight neck tension front and back.

On an energy medicine level- the seat of personal will and self-guidance and -where my voice and creative capacity meets the world - the areas I am challenged by lately

On a physical level-posture and voice changes perhaps.

As usual -every time I run Chosen my work calls go above and beyond amazing

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#26

Yesterday after one loop of Chosen was on fire with self belief, peace, confidence,
feeling the possibility and hope for the future, crushing work etc.

Today feeling strength, but also a ton of insecurity, especially around my future, finances, career- processing sense of desperation/hopelessness-likely shifting through, releasing and dealing with.

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#27

Not sure where to put this -so I’ll put it hear for now and then change the journal name when I conclude my new stack

I ran 1 minute of Emperor ZP yesterday and 1 full loop of Emperor ZP today

Here are some initial impression

1 minute of Emperor ZP

  1. I literally had 6 hours of productivity and focus after one minute of Emperor ZP-it just felt easier to get shit done.
  2. At one point I got on the phone with my mom and started very authentically and non-reactively or complaining crying about all the difficult shit I experience this year and what it meant for my life. She listened to it for the first time fully and with no judgment may be ever. After I felt like I let a lot of it go
  3. Before and then again, after this emotional interlude, I felt a very strong internal strength

1 full loop of Emperor ZP today

Emperor ZP is trippy, it does feel like a totally natural Emperor.

The biggest difference for now- perhaps recon
the dominance seems much more mitigated
I was getting a mixture of admiration and contention/shit testing- from men–or a kind of incredible reverence and kindness- almost looking out for me rather than pure respect/deference with the Emperor versions in the past. (This could be an effect of having run Chosen a week earlier)

I can also feel where I am not letting myself express full dominance (not over others just generally staying in that state of internal power in communication with others without modifying it for there comfort.) Or another way of saying it is I can feel where my internal status falters in communication in way I didn’t experience on Emperor Q or QV2- so this is likely healing/recon

  1. Still did a long stretch of super productive work
  2. I’m thinking clearly and not getting stuck in things-Work is work-what I need to do in any area of my life are what I need to do in other areas… there is an ease in compartmentalizing
  3. I feel what I am feeling fully, but it has very little power or sway over me
  4. I feel like I’ve got my life back online. And can really accomplish big shit again
  5. It’s just easier to fulfill my promises to me, the whole day-say this -do it
  6. My self-belief, courage, and confidence feels way up
  7. Thinking, and relating to myself as a winner and someone who can succeed at whatever I do
  8. I kept hearing this internal dialogue about creating or fulfilling my own destiny, or whatever I chose
  9. My focus feels elevated to what matters to me and for my life-in an intelligent way-like my orientation seems upgraded.
  10. There is a sense of being/energy that is more powerful and important than any of the circumstances around me-like I have the power to be the cause of whatever I choose
  11. The sexual edge is definitely back. The chemistry and gravity between me and the woman when out and about today was super intense.
  12. I love the overall sense of masculinity I experienced today at points on this sub.

Any way definitely plan to keep this one in the stack for the next 21 days.

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#28

heavy recon about 28 hours later
dissociative/anxiety
drive to work-with laziness-wheels spinning
feeling profoundly off
back tightness pain

Going to sleep on it- I have a feeling it will be resolved in the morning.

#29

The last few days I have felt in two worlds
one of really wanting to bust out and change everything
and the other-is I feel checked out and resistant to everything.

I am noticing strong, logic, social dominance, and sexual edge the last few days but my clear, drive and productivity, and focus on my own life has been wish-washy at best.

I also find myself frustrated, annoyed, and angry a lot of the time. I also notice I want to negate and not involve myself in anything that doesn’t directly produce monetary/career value for my life. Which is a bit of a double edge sword, since sometimes getting involved in things that don’t directly produce value are openers and can also just make life more enjoyable which supports productivity and innovation.

This is all likely recon. I will continue to test Emperor ZP for now because the first days were so powerful and effective, I’m hoping I can move through the recon. Not sure if I will continue to run with chosen or not.

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#30

It so strange,
I am definitely noticing elements of Emperor I am strongly grappling with.
I’ve been feeling a lot of pain and comparison and worthlessness around money
and how my relationship with it has ‘crippled’ my autonomy, and runs so much of my life.
This has been going on all this week.
I’ve been seeing and hearing how such small/huge things, settlements, the right choice in college, the right hand out at the right time, have made worlds of difference and freedom for others and defined their lives financially. I’ve been feeling very victimy about it and now seeing how those same power in choices and direction to create a flux are still always available.

The pain is giving way to a kind of intense power and commitment.

I have to find a way to leverage my social/ interpersonal skills for monetary gain.
To me, it’s just a bunch of bullshit, but almost everyone I meet and know seems to tremendously value these aspects of me and goes out of their way to admire and appreciate them.