didn’t go to my cousin‘s place…but I ran Love Bomb and LU2 anyway…I noticed that when I listened to LU2 my body vibrating and my hands becoming warmer like surges of energy coming out…I felt concentrated …motivated and present.and the love bomb seems doing the opposite…my hands became colder and soothing energy emitting from them…I felt lighthearted…passionate and at ease…next time，I will make sure I ran them back to back before going out…
another thing I want to mention is that…my perception of what happened to me changed…it feels like an empty space has been put between me and those events…some of them are not that pleasant and some are neutral…I guess this is DR working on me…
something comes to me …I just realised when I sing in front of people …I will perform much better…and intuitively sing the song the way that my singing teacher told me…and when I practice myself the state that I am in it is totally different…and this is happening again and again…I guess this is the synergetic effects of Stark and ultimate artist…anyway…I like it…let‘s see what comes next…
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I noticed this while I was on Stark. I like to sing, and my singing voice was better. I’m on EQ now so I sound like Lurch from Adams family.
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I felt a weird discrepancy on my rest day…now that I resume my stack…I feel like this is the way I am …it is almost like my subconscious is getting used to the new identity…and alienating the old self…i think I am onto something…
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I just scroll through a thread and …I realised that…the emperor script in stark seems taking place right now…I become less interested in chasing women and I qualify them a lot …and usually with one talk or two I will have a hunch whether they are right fit for me…and the alone wolf vibe is strong…I put my personal goals before women and have no interest to settle down for any woman…and I could totally feel at ease and happy being alone…no boredom whatsoever…I feel like DR is accelerating other titles…these changes are much more noticeable since I added it in the stack…also…I noticed recently many people tried to introduce girls to me…could be the compound effects of DR and AS ？I dunno…we will see…
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I am loving DR…last time I felt that positive and good was PS…and QLQ but the down side was …on PS…I became too nonchalant and not as motivated as now…QLQ did give me the cognitive enhancements but only the intellectual improvements and things related to that areas…DR works on more…I could feel my self esteem is higher…negative self criticized thoughts dismissing quickly…even the headache sometimes I had would dissipate soon…and it helps with other titles too…
since I pull out the Ultima titles…I feel alright and OK…but I really miss the quick witty response from BLU…that was on another level…I guess I will add it back
once I am acclimated to the stack…
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something beautiful hits me and I been pondering on it a bit …it is too shameful to let it go that easily…so，I decided to make a scene out of it…I am gonna use it as a plot line in the novel I am writing right now…thanks to @Malkuth
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so today I went to the singing class…before that I ran one loop love bomb and one loop DR St 1 right after that…it seems my teacher and the girl who works there a bit warmer and nicer…usually when I sing，my teacher will put his hands on my body briefly to remind me either relax that part of body or strengthen that part…not in a sexually way ，of course…but today…when he did that…I felt like…the way he touched me was a bit gay…well，I hope it is not what I think…I might test Love Bomb or PSITU on Thursday again…we will see…
it seems that the Love Bomb‘s effect lasts longer than I expected…I also registered an online singing class…today we had a midterm test…classmates seemed to be nicer to me than before and had been cracking jokes with me…hm……I will test love bomb few times more to see what is going on…
another thing，I noticed a recurring pattern with subliminal blooming…I am now on a five day on two day off schedule…usually the first day I rest will have some mild reconciliation…like headache and procrastination…nothing major I could break through it with a bit will power…and the following day will be blooming day…I could see significant improvements in the areas I am working on…both novel and singing…occasionally，the blooming day I will become tired or unmotivated…still nothing major easily break through …the difference is the first day even I break through…I dont see that much improvements…every once in a while I will have a washout week…and this pattern would repeat itself in the first part…meaning 1st day recon 2nd bloom 3rd recon 4th bloom…but the 5th and 6th day tend to normalize everything …I dont feel too strongly about the sub effect but the manifestation process seems to speed up…things started to happen outside usually it will be meeting new people or others try to introduce girls to me…and the 7th day I usually get a strong urge to resume the playlist…like craving for something really delicious…I never do washout more than a week so I dont know what might happen after that…perhaps，I will experiment it later…let‘s see…
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today…I had a singing class…and I ran PSITU and DR back to back before I got there…the effect didn’t kick in until I am on my way back…my mom was driving me back home…and I became really chatty…My mom got annoyed…yeah…my mom seems to have difficulty to grasp on my humor whereas my sister seems to dig it very much…anyway…PSITU is giving me a fun ride…at first…I was a bit tired…I had to get myself excited first to provoke the subconscious mind to bring out those qualities in the script…now…I am feeling pretty at ease…and light buzz…next time…I will try Love Bomb again…
edit：I forgot to mention that…my singing teacher told me that I have a negative self induced belief about my singing ability …this is why my performance vary from time to time…now that I think about this…that is true…interesting insight…
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nice seem like you result keep coming from the terminus squared build, what you thoughts on it now the build type was it worth it?
well…to be honest…it was really rough and taxing the first two months I ran it…and the results was really subtle until I went to another city…boom…something happens ，which I mentioned it in the first post …the reason why I choose terminus squared is that I plan on running AS for over ten years…so I know eventually I will get used to it and I am afraid that the standard version will not give me enough pushes in that case…so if you want to see quick result probably the standard version will be a good fit…whereas the terminus squared might be better for long term usage…it is just my theory …hope that answer your question…
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that is a hell of a time to run it for hope it work out good
am running mine on q build only plan on running it for the whole year, ill like to see how the module benefit you with this build so far i like you journal keep pushing
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one thing I think is worth to mention ：both PSITU and BLU could improve verbal expression but the ways they work are quite different…PSITU can make my bantering really smooth and flow…but I think it is affecting people with the carefree attitude…the vibe so to speak…on the other hand，BLU can improve my wittiness …the verbal expression not only witty but has a intellectual tone in it…and the most interesting part is that I find it really easy to vomit hyper volume of vocabulary when I am on it…this is something I haven’t seen it with other subs…I really love it when I do it to people ，they will be in awe usually and completely suck in that moment…still…Ultimas are fun to play with…I will have more experiment…next time，I will play Libertine Ultima v2 and Love bomb before I go to class…
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noted but i think once am done for this year i wont end up running PSITU but that some good info to know thanks man
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two dreams：the first one I was watching the Chinese Opera…the narrator was introducing those characters background stories…and some mystic guide in my head said “all those pains and trauma could be tremendous motivation for you/me to push forward ，to succeed in life…just like those character…it builds you up…”then I woke up …I think this dream is pretty self explained…and sure it is DR‘s working…after I woke up…a thought hovering over my head“it is OK that others people do not understand me…me，is for some，not for all…”
second one：I was lying on bed in a dorm room…a girl who I rejected few months ago undressed herself and started harassing me sexually…I could feel her lips kissing my naked back…I was annoyed and somehow powerless to fight…and I saw a girl really familiar looking and could not remember who she is，standing there and I used my facial expression to ask her to help me…she understood and came…just as they are about to fight…I woke up…I guess this dream is a bit symbolic…the girl who I rejected could represents an idea/a false belief that I wrongfully developed in my early age that “I always attract the wrong girls and they are annoying” and the familiar looking girl represents the ideal type of girl or the positive belief I want to develop “the right type of girl come into myself and fight for my love ” and the scene could mean there is under surface conflict between this two set of ideas which is about to happen…I woke up with a bit headache…like usual，I get through it pretty soon…again I think DR is cleansing the deeper issues …this year is gonna be extraordinary…I could forsee so many things are about to change…love it…
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so，yesterday I ran SU and BLU back to back first thing in the morning…then I rest a while and ran two loops AS…later I visited my grandpa…most of my extended family members showed up …because my grandpa is pretty sick…my cousin…let‘s call her J…came too…and our relationship was up and down…this time we talked for hours and I could really see the emotional bonds are building strongly…she told me a lot of private issues…to be honest，I was surprised…we dont talk about those things usually…in fact…we dont talk that much…I mean like forever…and I could see the trust that she has for me is really strong…later on she told my sister that she feels really comfortable talking to me…I guess AS and SU really turns up the magnetism…I wasn’t doing anything special…just vibe …keep it lighthearted and fun… on hindsight，I guess I created a judgement free zone where she feels it is OK to share her deeper feeling with me and I care about it …I support it…the only down side was I could not sleep…SU seems somehow giving me more energy…anyway it is fun to experiment…
other thing is I didn’t practice singing and
do the vocal excercises …first time in five months…I missed a day…and I feel empty inside and I hate it…rationally speaking I know sometime things come up and my plan/schedule might have to change…but emotionally I felt like I betrayed myself and I was being lazy…this nagging feeling is strong…I guess I just have to adjust it and make peace with myself…could be something comes from DR？QLQ？AS？or all of the above ？I dont know but I think this is definitely a good thing …I could use it to my advantage…
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two thing ：SU seems to have a stronger effect on me now…it lasts two days…I became chatty and social…also came with down sides ，could not fall asleep and headache…I think now I am acclimated to the stack…I am gonna do a lot of experiment with Ultima ，starting next week…also it is Chinese New Year next week…we are gonna have a lot of family gathering…I believe it is a good chance to test different Ultima…should be fun…
another thing，I am becoming sick and tired of junk food…I used to eat those shits a lot …today，I ordered something and I could not finish it…it just tasted like garbage to me…I guess DR is somehow fixing me on a level I didn’t realise before…
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Good to hear, look like you can use that to get in shape. What type of subs do you plan on testing?
libertine will always be my first choice …my subconscious loves seduction related scripts… …I could really love to find out the detail differences between LU，LU2，LB and PSITU，maybe even S U，which is giving really mixed results…BLU is one of my favorite…it improves not only my cognitive abilities but also my overall experience with people in general…I would love to mix them up with each other…I haven’t decided yet maybe later I will put in some thing else like TSU and CU…I will update it when I do…
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