ultimately, it’s inability to enjoy the present moment, I guess
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I’m having strong head tension and seem to be in deep processing right now. I wonder if it’s just accumulated backlog in the processing queue from long cycles?
I’m considering making the next cycle shorter. I want as smooth experience as possible to aid integration and execution
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My stack started to bloom. It’s “clicked”. A lot of internal progress in understanding myself all at once, and a noticeable boost in mindfulness
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yeah, long cycles are definitely not for me right now. A lot of bloom, a lot of processing, a lot of recon in the form of anger, etc.
I think I’ll take additional washout days too
lesson learned
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feeling much better today. Third washout day is always the roughest for me in my experience
Still, I’m adding at least 2 days just in case
Goal for the next cycle is to make it as smooth as possible - MWF + much shorter cycles (haven’t decided on the length yet)
overexposure leads to too much inward focus and attempts of processing while leaving no energy for executing.
Also, it’s probably a dumb idea (which took me embarassingly long to realize) to jump a whole exposure tier rather than gradually build up, so I won’t do 30 sec of Mogul+RICH straight from the beginning (even though I’ve done longer durations before, I don’t think it causes much recon). I’ll add just 5s per listening day and stop when recon hits
essentially, following this
The Philosophy: Smooth Growth, Not Force
The reconciliation process is a naturally occurring outflow of accelerated growth. Circumventing this process, or pushing it to an extreme is unlikely to generate better results. The goal here is not intense accelerated growth, but rather a smooth journey of self-exploration and self-mastery, which can lead to you achieving your goals.
Over time, you may be able to listen to the entire length of the loop with ease and little interruption. If you are working diligently on self-mastery and taking action, by the time you reach being able to listen to the entire file, you may have worked through an incredible amount of inner issues, which can lead to an outflow of extraordinary results.
EDIT: maybe I should go even slower than 5s per listening day. We’ll see
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I think a lot of my recon is actually overload rather than reconciliation of beliefs. Symptoms are extremely similar to dorsal vagal shutdown
And that’s probably the reason why I can’t grow my exposure duration despite being for 3-6 months on the same subs. Increasing exposure doesn’t add much belief recon but it gives me a lot of fatigue and similar stuff
I hope that Peace + NS regulation practices and supplements + slow and gradual exposure increase will allow me to listen more
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I was going to add this that I’ve like you (I think) after some technology upgrades started to feel recon at the shortest duration compared to before.
There’s many theories why, but I was thinking it might be long term overload perhaps? I’ve probably not taken a longer washout since starting 3 or so years ago and always had 3 subs lol.
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Yeah, I think it does accumulate (at least based on the results of this cycle lol). I believe it depends more on the nervous system rather than recon
I did take a few longer washouts but in my experience, the first 3 days are the roughest for me and then I seem to have finished processing everything usually. Still, I had a couple of long washouts in which I was processing subs for more than 10 days
I think it can be trained though but definitely not through such stress response like I described (dorsal vagal shutdown). I think more gradual habituation would result in being able to increase both the exposure and cycle length
Maybe that’s another point for your hypothesis - one sub provides less information, recon and thus, overload. Maybe it allows to gently stretch these cognitive abilities to allow running more subs for longer with higher durations?
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Interesting 
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feeling very good today, seems like I nearly finished processing. Had some weird dreams though
I’m going to be washing out until Wednesday at least, which will amount to 7 days of washout total
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had an unexpected gaming session with an old friend. Haven’t played games in ages - always considered it a waste of time and “why play if I need to grind more!”. It doesn’t relate to gaming alone, I thought this way about many things
but then I thought of a question - what’s the point of me chasing status and money if it leads to RESTRICTIONS (and not by anyone but by myself!), rather than FREEDOM to do whatever I want? The whole point of status and money is to improve life and give more freedom of choice. I’m not in a bad state financially, there’s going to be absolutely no harm if I do stupid/useless stuff occasionally like gaming or watching an episode of a tv series or going out somewhere.
I know millionaires who are scrolling tiktok everyday or doing similar things. I always thought that it’s a failure of character, but in fact, they are “allowed” to do it more than anyone else precisely because they are crushing it at life already
Sure if it becomes a problem and the negative effects start outweighing the benefits, it’s a whole different matter now, obviously.
freedom is the essence of the goals I have
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^ man writes paragraphs, trying to justify his video game addiction lol
just kidding
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unexpectedly getting recon in the form of wanting to switch my entire stack to Emperor + Peace lol. Wonder where that is coming from. 6th washout day btw
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I think I’m slowly starting to see where this is coming from.
It’s unlikely that I will switch to Emperor before it’s updated though. And it depends on what results I’ll achieve by that time and how comparable would the wealth aspect in it be to Mogul. I want any changes that I’m making to my stack to be an upgrade, rather than a full switch of goals
Like, if Emperor will have a similar amount of wealth scripting, then I’d probably start using it (even though the wealth scripting is going to be more dilluted than in GM). Because while wealth is my main focus, I also want general life improvements eventually (seduction, alpha qualities, etc.)
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a better question is: what is being reconciled right now from RICH + GM + The stabilizer that nudges my subconscious to show Emperor as a potential solution?
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Perhaps its Emperor being an all-in-one-solution to the issues those 3 address:
- Foundation building
- Wealth
- masculinity
Emperor’s a title you could run exclusively and see major changes in every facade of your life.
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I think I generally started reconciling some deeper issues regarding power, status, masculinity and that’s why Emperor immediately came to my attention
I do like the idea of simplifying my stack eventually though, and Emperor is a big contender because it really does hit every major area of life - health, wealth, seduction, masculinity
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Did first loop of Peace (15s). Immediately noticed a decrease in tension and the mind got clearer, I became more energetic. So far I like it. Very excited for the future.
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unfortunately, the immediate effects dissipated. But I guess it’s just habituation and callibration issue. Was good while it lasted though!
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alright, I feel some deeper sense of inner peace growing. Like a certain carefree attitude, losing unnecessary tension related to goals and work and stuff
it’s very subtle right now, barely noticeable. But it’s there
don’t feel any negative recon symptoms though! Hope to see the deep sleep effects today
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