Rather than cluttering up my journal with the various dreams I’m experiencing, I want to create a dedicated dream journal.
I plan on running DREAMS long term as I’ve experienced great healing from it and although my dreams are intense, they’ve come with many great insights for me.
My third dream involves money.
I was talking to an ex-girl I was dating about money and was experiencing these feelings of guilt.
She grew up in poverty and her goal was to get a license from a trade school and start a new career.
I felt really bad because I grew up in the suburbs and at the time we were speaking I was extremely well off financially with my bills able to be paid months in advance.
I felt like an asshole telling her that, but during the dream my feelings of guilt began to clear. Rather than viewing what she was saying as some sort of threat to our compatibility, I just felt proud of her for doing what she was doing. It no longer affected me. I stopped caring if she would look down on me for being rich, which has been a theme in my life for a long time.
Upon waking up I began remembering aspects of my childhood.
I realized that my parents weren’t always rich. I was very small when my parents moved to America, but I remember that my mom wasn’t around much. The reason for this was because she was working two jobs. My dad worked at a 7/11 and studied at a nearby college.
Now my parents live in the Suburbs, but this wasn’t always the life they lived. My mom told me about being so poor in Africa that she would go out onto the street and look for trash to eat. My dad was in a much better situation relatively, but he was definitely poor.
They’ve worked their ass off to achieve wealth and stability for themselves and their kids and I’ve spent much of my life being ashamed of that. It just sounds crazy to me now.
If someone wants to look down on me for the benefits their wealth has provided me, go ahead. I love the benefits I get from having rich parents and I know many people would gladly trade places with me.
Also, I’m not sure why but also there has been an inverse effect.
The girl I was speaking to was going to American Career College, a for-profit college that is generally seen as low class in America. I kept that perception when I was around her as well, but thinking back to those memories its hard to feel any of that. Its just a college, it has no meaning. What college she goes to isn’t a part of her personality, nor does it define her.