This request is focused on meeting and addressing some imbalanced core beliefs of mine, the biggest one being feeling safe and secure in my world. I’ve been using subs from other producers, and I’m grappling presently (subliminal overload, honestly).
I began writing this to support, but reasoned I might find more viewpoints here.
I began using SC subs in 2018, having used subs only 2 years beforehand. My original intent, unnamed by me at the time, was addressing the deep insecurity I felt alone, and most definitely with others. I felt unsafe internally, and hiding it from myself was why I’ve jumped around on subs here, and with other producers.
I haven’t used SC subs now for about 6 months, as I began with another producer who released a sub targeting feeling safe and secure in life. I’ve felt hints of progress on and off. But no steady attainment of feeling safe within myself. However, I’ve felt drawn to SC’s consistency, clear results (on ANY sub here), and…the discipline of knowing when I’ve listened too much on the newer builds. 5 minutes is max for me. 3 minutes has been painless unless it’s with a strong healing title (Khan St.1 had some rough spots).
So, I’m wondering how to address this insecurity while also building my emotional strength. I built 2 customs months back, but have only a single listen on one. I’ve got:
Phoenix with LB. Plus a lot of relationship/love oriented modules. I’ve evaded lasting relationships for years–since I’m always seeing and feeling like a kid needing to protect himself. Fear has been a constant reminder to “RETREAT!”
Genesis with LB. I built this before the Phoenix custom since I’ve loved imagining feeling competent with money, relationships, and life in general.
My biggest core needs are feeling safe and secure, feeling loved and loveable, and boom…trusting MYSELF. To expose the inner battle going on, I’m wondering about
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AOH. I listened for one 3 minute loop months back, and it hit quickly. I read the full sales page this morning…and it invites me. It focuses on me and what makes me happy. But true to Fire’s style, he incorporated tools to allow this. One example is the Letting Go feature. Hanging on to old sh** is why I’m in this spot.
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Emperor, alone or mixed with another sub. I did Emperor 4 months before leaving SC late last year…and the mental stability and strength affected every part of life. It affected me, and I miss that. That mindset is more like “why CAN’T I do this?”
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CFW. I reread the thread this morning…because I wanted to feel safe in my own skin. I felt (unexpectedly) safe on this one…not sure why I pulled off.
I’m even not wanting to post this since…it feels like an admission…or a truth…that I’ve failed again. (which points back to Emperor instantly. Resilience makes a big difference in daily life).
Where might I start? I’m not playing “warrior” here. I’m…just human. Very human. I want to be real here, feel secure, and feel free to move into life once again. I’ve felt it at times, and I’m seeking it.
P.S. I own DR, but I haven’t felt sold on using such a block of time to address…ahem…“unknown” traumas. I’m wanting to face life again. (I think of Genesis now, exploring and all). So I’m seeking feedback.
PS. Thanks Saint. I’m unsure how to unlock the thread.