July 16th 2024
Listening Day 2
AA 15:00 PZzzz 3:00
July 18th 2024
Listening Day 3
KB4 8:16 Primal 4:14 PZzzz 4:44
I listened to my custom now two times for the full 15 minutes. I felt super procrastinating the first time. The second time was much better, but still, it was there.
BUT I managed to get in contact with a few debt collectors and started finally to create payment plans. It still felt a bit like having anxiety attacks, but I managed to do it nevertheless.
So for me, it’s huge step forwards.
My health insurance accepted to handle it themselves without a debt collector which makes it much easier because I have just one rate to pay each month instead of two, also they offer to spread it over 2 years instead of one.
So now only IRS remains.
Job wise, I’m still struggling with procrastination. I guess it’s because I’m not sure what the best route would be. So instead of going the wrong way, I stay where I am. Not clever, but everything I can do atm.
I’m kinda pissed that the job center doesn’t answer. Even when they would say no, it would be something to work with.
I found a job offer as a traveling salesman for gas and electric companies 25 minutes away. But is it what I want to do?
I would prefer telesales with home office for family reasons.
But could it be a starting point?
I also noticed, that I started to open letters right away in the last couple of days.
Could also be Debt Annihilator at work.
My sexual impulses are still strong, though when I release, it’s without visual aid.
I also noticed when I look at our couple photos, the urge often vanishes. I think thats because it makes me realize what is really important: My relationship.
2 Likes
It occurred to me today, that I only felt this strong drive to attack my unopened letters after listening to AA for full loops.
I have to observe this further, but it may be, that, similar to KB1, full loops bring effects I don’t get from microloops.
I can’t certainly tell, because I don’t know what is in the script, but KB1 only had this cleansing effect only after 15 minutes. And now again, after a full loop I get a result I desired.
But again, I prepared for full loops with 2 cycles of much shorter loops, preparing me.
I think I’ll run AA only in full loops for the rest of this Cycle to see if there manifests a consistency of results.
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July 21st 2024
Listening Day 4
AA 15:00 PZzzz 15:00
After the two full loops yesterday, I feel totally spent today. I slept 8.5 hours. I woke up a few times and fell asleep again right after. Even now, three hours after getting up, I’m still tired.
But I know it’s doing something. I can feel it.
July 24th 2024
Listening Day 5
Ascension 5:00
Today I realized another big missing chunk of me. Or rather that I didn’t work on it as hard as I should have. I knew for a long time, that I’m missing the determination to take serious action.
I realized recently, that it’s missing confidence in me and my skills. Even for jobs for career changers, I felt like I will not get in, I have nothing to show for.
And I sincerely believed that lovebomb will heal this. And longterm it probably could.
But @Sub.Zero pointed to Ascension for self-esteem and getting your shit done. So I read the copy (probably the first time since I found SC and was steamrolled by the abundance and variety of subs). And it just felt right.
I don’t know yet, how things will develop, but Ascension feels like another step in the right direction. Just like the natural development I experienced this year Phoenix-> LB → Primal → Ascension.
So I now have two subs working on masculinity.
Primal and Ascension.
Plus AA for my wealth goals.
I’ll drop PZzzz since my sleep is good enough for the moment and I can make better use of my processing power.
And I think, Ascension might even be a good replacement for KB4 in relation to porn, since the main reason for relapses was missing self esteem or problems originating from me not taking the necessary action to succeed in life.
So I’m not tackling the the inner wound but I’m taking away the possible gateways for the triggers.
2 Likes
I mentioned those aspects of Ascension in comparison with LB and, mainly, since @joker asked for a specific recommendation.
The best aspects of Ascension are your values reevaluation, setting goals that align with you and being motivated to take action towards them, transgressing your comfort zones. Ascension is the most essential missing link for the vast majority of men, me included.
I would consider running it along with KB and switching to Primal after building and strengthening those missing links you mentioned as they’re the most essential - ascending beyond the “mediocre’s mindset” and holding a firm grip on your sexuality.
Primal would make me really horny when I was listening to it for the first time a couple of months ago, I couldn’t stop using porn on it. It got worse on Primal, actually. Then I ran Phoenix, SSX, PS and WB for some time, and now I only get back to porn when I really “need” it, meaning it’s not about getting horny and having the urge to watch porn, it’s more about releasing when it’s necessary.
2 Likes
That sounds like a rationalization. You don’t “release” with porn, because the short-lived relief and pleasure you get are minimal compared to the harm that comes with it, and it is never necessary for anyone who actually wants to become his best self. PMO rather reinforces the subconscious assumption that you can’t do better in that moment, and the energy drain from PMO is very noticeable compared to actual sex. Your dear friend Luther is actually right about this. There is just no way to justify porn use, especially not when you’re married or regularly have contact with girls. Even if you were isolated in a hut somewhere, it would not be worth it.
If you feel unbearably horny and seek out porn for release, it means two things: your subconscious still assumes that it is the best way to release sexual energy, and you don’t have creative outlets for the accumulated energy, i.e. artistic pursuits, ambitious plans you seek to realize in life, the general drive to become a better man.
Khan actually helped me the most with it, especially Khan Stage 1, but Khan Black is indeed useful as well. Love Bomb for more self-love(so that you will feel like you’re actually harming yourself through PMO instead of feeling like it is a legitimate form of release). If you have the time, try to get into an energy sublimation practice like Qigong or some form of higher yoga that involves pranayama and meditation instead of just asanas. Anything to keep you from simply accumulating without circulating and refining the energy.
Edit: I am not attacking you, but I recently found your review of Limit Destroyer in the shop, where you state that it finally helped you break out of the PMO habit. That was in 2021. So what happened on Primal? Are you sure that the habit is gone for good? 30 years of PMO use is sure to leave a deep imprint that might take lots of work to overcome, but that’s got to be one of the most rewarding things out there, given how central the sexual drive is for men to get anywhere in life.
3 Likes
I don’t want to hijack his journal, mate. I got your message, and I appreciate your being concerned.
However, let’s say it’s still relevant to the journal as he’s listening to Primal.
Yeah, it’s gone and I can control releasing this way. You might be right about finding more creative outlets for the accumulated sexual energy in me since when its level is really high and I’m bored I use porn and release. However, it’s not about being super horny or feeling the urge to use porn, therefore, the habit got broken.
It was a kind of recon stemming from not aligning with the scripting when it comes to taking proper action, that is going out, having fun with women and bedding them. It got resolved when I started doing so.
3 Likes
So after my initial 5 minutes of Ascension I experienced a boost in my drive to do the boring and simultaneously challenging stuff I procrastinated on for so long.
I made a to do list with 10 points and worked my way through 8 of them until I headed for work.
Work was crap. A colleague dropped some bottles of coke earlier, so I had to mop the floor 5 times and it was still tacky. I managed my work with just 45 minutes of unpaid work, so that pretty good.
But when I was falling asleep I suddenly felt like I forgot to activate alarm system. So I drove back to work and it was activated.
Still I lay awake for a long time overthrowing this. Did I miss it? Did they send police? Will it cost me lots of money? Etc.
Dreams circled around this as well.
Today its still starting slow, since I’m super tired and groggy.
Sub wise, I’m considering pausing Primal for two cycles until I’ve build a masculine base with Ascension before pursuing the Primal way of life again.
1 Like
July 26th 2024
Listening Day 6
Ascension 5:00 AA 3:00
One important question I found today for choosing subs is the following:
Do I need to add or remove?
Do I need to add certain qualities to my personality? Like self esteem, a sense of adventure or charisma?
Or do I need to remove certain limiting factors?
Like trauma, guilt or shame?
And can it be, that I already have a certain quality in me, but it’s blocked by some trauma? So I would need to remove trauma to actually activate the quality I already have?
Or the other way round, do I need to add a certain quality to actually tackle a trauma, I can’t get myself to let go?
Also, when I need a quality, do I actually need another quality first to be able to live accordingly? Like me discovering I need self esteem from Ascension to be able to use so much financial scripting I probably have already ingrained from 10 months of GM, Emperor, HoM and The Golden One.
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July 28th 2024
Listening Day 7
Ascension 5:31
Interesting day.
Worked with my fiancee on my procrastination on getting a sales job.
It seems I dropped the phrase “I’m not good enough” literally dozens of times.
So when it got dark outside we lit a bonfire, I wrote “I’m not good enough” on a piece of paper, thanked the belief for keeping me safe all this years, told him good bye and burned it.
Then I integrated two new beliefs.
- I’m good enough
- I’m valuable, an enrichment and I have a lot to give.
It was an intense process. A lot of pictures popped up in my head along the way. Contradicting this new beliefs, from my past life and possibly past life’s.
In the beginning the new beliefs felt strange and still wrong. But now, 2 hours later, it feels already much more natural.
3 Likes
July 30th 2024
Listening Day 8
Ascension 4:53 AA 6:10
Did some more research on how to get into sales after the job center is still blocking my voucher.
I found this one company that offer a free training to get into sales, but only to people that have the right spirit and mindset.
When I first researched about sales and closing I had three companies on my radar. The one that offered the voucher thing, the one I spoke about above and a third, smaller one.
Today I registered for a zoom call tomorrow. I rescheduled my work shift tomorrow (also more hours, so more money) so I can participate.
While working I watched a few of their videos whenever I had no customers. And once, a customer entered with a poloshirt with the first part of the companies name. I see it as a sign from above.
Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
August 2nd 2024
Listening Day 9
Ascension 6:40 AA 3:00
It’s getting momentum.
After the webinar, we were invited to send an application video. So I did the next morning.
And like 90 minutes later I got the answer that I’m invited for an onboaedibg call to see if I can confirm the impression they git from the video.
So I’d say, coming Thursday, I’ll officially have a spot in a seriously cool companies sales training.
I’m preparing myself with watching lots of videos from their YT channel. And I like it. Whatever I ever didn’t like about sales people, they criticized: Pressure, just reading scripts, etc.
A part of me still is doubting that it’s finally starting, but deep down I know, that’s it.
On another note, today an attractive customer asked me, if I’m a dubbing actor because my voice sounded so professional and trained.
I noticed it myself more often recently, that it’s has a deeper timbre without sounding dull (I have one customer, an 18 year old boy, whose voice is extremely deep, but he sounds like he can’t get it out of his throat).
Also, I noticed, that I have very decent customers. Some colleagues are complaining often about rude or annoying customers. I have that only very rarely. And then it doesn’t bother me to much.
Tomorrow, I’m visiting another Ren’fair with my fiancee. Excited
About the sales job.
I know, its the typical structure: first acquisition, then setting and finaly closing.
When intried to start a coaching business, acquisition was my nightmare. I think it was also because I was basically the product.
This time, I can sell a high class product.
Still, I have a slight pain in the stomach when I think about doing acquisition again.
But simultaneously, I’m super excited to go through this fear. Because deep down I knowthat fear is just a signal, that growth awaits in that direction.
training
3 Likes
August 4th 2024
Listening Day 10
Ascension 8:30 AA 5:55
Whish you good luck for your interview tomorrow!
1 Like
Hey brother, I hope you’re doing well, I have a question for you, how would you compare the influence of Ascension compared to other subs you ran?
I am trying to decide if I should go for Ascension or Godlike Masculinity OG.
I’ve never ran GLM before so I can’t compare them.
Ascension for is super fast acting. It pushed my self esteem in so far that I acted on my desire to start in sales a few days later. A decision I postponed for months.
It made me realize that deep down there was still this believe of I’m not good enough. So I tackled this consciously and bam.
Besides that, I didn’t notice to much of it.
Let me rephrase. It made me realize more clearly what I want and actually work to achieve it.
From what I remeber reading the GLM description, I’d guess Ascension is a good foundation for running GLM.
I think it’s a good foundation for every guy that feels that masculine qualities are missing.
1 Like
August 7th 2024
Listening Day 11
Ascension 5:02 AA 0:51
I’m posting this a day after listening.
This time I was very straight forward with my subconscious, very detailed in my descriptions of what I wanted it to do from the subs:
- best preparation for the interview
- I’ll listen to both subs
- Stop once it’s enough
- keep in mind, I’ll listen to both subs
I prepared myself intensly for the interview. I watched a hundred tiktoks from a German career coach to find the best for interviews. He even had a longer one on using ChatGPT for optimal preparation. After that, I watched 3 videos on chatgpt from the company I had the interview with. Then I put all my knewly gained knowledge to the test and worked a few hours with ChatGPT. I even found a GPT for mock-interviews and did one. Lol. Speaking with a GPT HR manager.
Slept 10 hours tonight to be in top condition today. Then prepared some more and did another mockinterview with my fiancee.
And I noticed that I was much better. I barely used any filler words, I spoke fluently without any breaks, I came up with examples way easier then the day before (I guess Ascension and AA worked intensly over night).
Speaking of night. I dreamed strange stuff. Both about military. In one, I discovered an old loft that contained mutated spiders, belonged to third reich officer before. And the heating was done with a nuclear reactor. Strange stuff.
Today, I realized, when I entered the zoom room, that it’s not an actual interview. We were like 22 people and it wasn’t very personal.
But I have a trainee position now. I have a job, so to say. No salary, only provisions. So the beginning might be a bit hard, but once I’ve mastered the basics, I can start making income.
A question for our sales people in here:
@Jouissance @Azriel @Niles
I’m running a two sub stack:
Ascension
Abundance Architect (GM, HoM, NWE, Carpe Vitam, Winner Overdrive, the Golden One, Tale of the Dragon, Cosmic Navigator for wealth modules)
And I’m considering adding a third sub after washout. As I’m gonna start in sales, what would be a good addition?
I’m considering RICH for obvious reasons. Or perhaps Minds Eye or True Sell?
I have true sell module in The Tale of the Dragon already…
I don’t want something heavy and archetypal Ike ASBR, rather something light and fast acting. That’s why I’m leaning towards RICH.