A Love Supreme on Survival Instinct

Journals - Major Programs
#1

I was going to wait to post, but I keep getting more and more involved with the subliminal.

Today I had my first Krav Maga lesson after running the subliminal.

I did a few things differently than I usually do.

One, I grabbed an energy drink before I went. This is part of my being prepared, something that I will actively be working on.

Two, I automatically created a state for training. I reminded myself why I was training and how much I looked forward to it that day to get myself in the mood. I was dreading training, even thought about not going, but I pushed through and when I pushed through the inertia, my unconscious suggested, or just brought up positive feelings for me that helped.

I’ve seen somewhere that the reason why Navy Seals and other soldiers are so effective is because they enter certain states for combat where they’re in the flow that allows them to bypass their normal limits. Definitely not a super soldier state, yet, but I will be running this in the long term. It will be incredibly beneficial after a year to just have these skills so deeply ingrained within me.

During training I was able to enter a flow state and I performed really well given the fact that I’ve done less than a dozen lessons so far.

I did all of this on 3 hours of sleep.

I finished a 2.5 mile hike after the lesson too. I take hikes afterward every so often, but it will pay to be consistent as I already have the adrenaline flowing, so its easy.

I believe this may be the ultimate lifestyle subliminal for our present world and will post more about some of the mental aspects later.

Beyond relaxation, theres an element of having to know who you are, what you value and what your boundaries are and what you will and will not compromise on. Without knowing these things I’m understanding I’m open to manipulation.

Secondly theres a grounding effect where instead of spending all time indoors on my phone, I’ve found myself outside for a few hours today. I’m considering my death positively, who I want around and how I want to truly spend my last days, not just what I want to achieve.

I’m also becoming more and more aware of social dynamics, or they’re being brought back up in my awareness.

Specifically, group think and how easily the force of a group can help or hinder you.

For example, on Emperor many viewed me as an asshole at a coffee shop I used to frequent. As they all shared how much they disliked me, their dislike of me continued to grow and grow. Even small, innocent actions would be percevied negatively to the point where the environment actually changed around me and my intuition told me I wasn’t wanted. That mixture of finding a scapegoat, the social approval, feeling better than someone is a very addicting mixture and I’m growing my awareness of it.

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#2

Woke up today and hiked 2 miles.

Came back, took a cold shower, then I went to the park and read for an hour.

30 minutes of historical fiction (Slaughterhouse Five) and 30 minutes of self development (No More Mr. Nice Guy)

Compared to my normal routine during this lockdown I may have had a few bowls, a beer, surfed the web and maybe gotten some productive things done.

I’m beginning to understand my previous frustrations and why I wanted this subliminal.

There’s this deeply held belief that I have the ability to keep myself safe… IF I follow all the instructions.

When I found that wasn’t working in the midst of everything it seems my unconscious went to war with me, and this is us on the other end.

There is also significant clearing of trauma that is going on.

I had a dream where my father attempted to murder a 5-7 year old version of me.

It was an amalgamation of several events and just what felt like the truth: “I’m going to die today.”

He beat me up and then he tried to smash his heel into my jaw but I caught it and bit through the shoe into his foot and refused to let go.

Each and every passing moment I felt this strength and courage rising up within me. It felt like I was creating this reality where my survival was a fact, and if I did die, no one would be celebrating because I would have put the unlimited power of my unconscious mind and the universe onto beating the shit out of my attackers.

The dream ended with me feeling calm and clear, my dads hands folded at his side as he watched me. I felt this very, very powerful presence around me though, the result of the script making me appear dangerous and even capable and willing to murder if it would help the situation.

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#3

A really rough dream. I wish you well on this journey.

I recently finished reading Slaughterhouse 5.

I am now reading Catch 22.

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#4

Did you pass by any individuals doing this?

This is my impression while using Primal as well. I started to lay off the Alpha subs and only add them in some cyclical pattern, doing this I have had some better ability to reflect on negative patterns during my time using them.

#5

I passed by many individuals actually.

They were all very friendly except for one.

It was a security guard who harassed me recently and boy was he mad. I looked him dead in the eye and slowly looked back to the view that he had interrupted me from seeing. It didn’t affect me at all, and I didn’t even see the point in engaging in it, when otherwise I would have been angry after the fact.

–

I continued browsing the internet for some time today before deciding to stop. I noticed a pattern this time, when I’ve done it throughout the day with this sub, I stop when my emotions peak.

As in when I start to get really, really into the activity, thats when the complete disinterest comes. So the subliminal is doing this intentionally to really break that habit. Interesting.

I’m still collecting data but I notice that after so many hours subliminals will begin to sink in and I’m sure this is where the deeper changes come in, which is what I’m excited to report on.

Edit: Oh yeah, seeing that old security guard must have been a manifestation. A 5 minute delay, or hell, even a 30 second delay and we may have never crossed paths.

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#6

Yeah that makes sense. Guess we will see if he maintains his hostility.

Interesting. This might be something specific to balance out the healing.

#7

7.30.20 Progress

Landlord keeps bothering me on purpose, making noise at all hours of the morning and night, so I’m going to be moving soon.

Already found several good homes in a short period of time so maybe this is a manifestation? I know that the housing market is in a weird state so I didn’t expect my search to be so fruitful and easy.

A job I had applied for a very long time ago called me, which rarely happens. I’ll have to follow back up soon.

If finding a new place to live/job isn’t in the script directly, then these two things must significantly help my chances of survival to come up.

Also, my sister checked up on me, another friend checked up on me, I checked up on my brother and two friends.

I’m beginning to understand the bigger picture that we need others around us for our success, survival and thriving. I’ve been so adamant about being a lone wolf these last several years I seem to have forgotten.

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#8

What specifically does this revolve around? Skill/knowledge building or resource/opportunity shuffling?

I don’t want to probe too far, but there is something key I want to clarify. Are you devaluing this idea of lone wolf, or are you simply leveraging resources/opportunities from multiple angles without compromising your beliefs/values.

Anyways, good luck and

#9

What I’m feeling is that I checked up on these people and it fueled me.

Where I otherwise would have been miserable I put some energy outside of myself, selflessly and I feel like its returned to me.

Feel free to probe, it helps us both learn and grow.

Definitely the latter.

I still intend on being a lone wolf, but I don’t have to only be a lone wolf.

Being a lone wolf was partly inspired by it being my personality type, reinforced by the subliminal, but there is also an aspect of fear. Fear of letting people in that is completely separate from the spirit of being a lone wolf.

I’m seeing these little ways of keeping in contact that give me a lot of happiness, don’t cause me much stress, and help me grow.

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#10

I agree it’s probably best to be a jack of all trades, as long as you pick something to be a master in (Jack of all trades, master of none)

My issue is manifestation of certain people, and If I take the “Easy” way out, I will only attract others that have also compromised.

Probably, I imagine the lone wolf has to be powerful enough to not care about that fear, so it’s not a fear of people, but loss.

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#11

What an inspiring and unexpected effect of beefing up your survival instinct.

It’s pretty cool. And you got there very quickly.

I’m noticing that when a person does an honest self-review and focuses on the areas of life that are truly most important, meaningful, and relevant, the subliminals seem to have rapid, incredible effects. Explosive growth.

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#12

That’s an important point and something that I’ve been pondering.

I set my clock to military time and was driving to a friends house when I intuited something bad happening. The time read 20:20 and I had the thought “Hindsight is 2020” and felt I shouldn’t go.

I pushed through because he’s long been my friend, but now I regret it.

It was a good, fairly innocent lesson in trusting my intuition, and helped me break the mold of what I think friendship should be.

I’m noticing the same. I’ve been told time and time again to do STEM in school, only to put in all my effort and hate my work and myself.

Its not for me.

I started looking into career fields that I like such as psychology and I find myself effortlessly doing work.

Then people who support my dream also start popping into my reality and it seems like the entire road has opened.

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#13

Another manifestation of Growth Through Pain:

When I joined my Krav gym, before I signed the contract, one of the coaches gave me the wrong date to cancel. A month after when I should cancel, which would have automatically started another 6 month subscription.

I ignored it because I figured most salesmen would do some sort of sales tactic, but I should have gone with my gut instinct.

I had 10 days to cancel the contract through no fault of my own. The first 10 days I was there were quite good, but after that 10 day period things started going downhill.

The place felt… racist.

I wasn’t sure if I was bringing it in on my own or if it was the place itself. I gave them the benefit of the doubt only because I figured a number of reasons could make the situation awkward. I’ve posted here before about racist things happening, so I thought I was just on high alert.

Since then there have been a number of weird psychic disturbances and nightmares. I figured this may be something I had just tracked in from one of numerous things I do concerning energy and my unconscious.

I confirmed with a friend of mine who’s much more skilled in this that the coach had been attacking me psychically. He had been intentionally trying to destabilize me from coming to his gym and negative entities were also involved.

Pure what the fuck moment.

I never thought I’d encounter anyone able and willing to do that in real life.

I’ve since told my bank not to authorize any transactions to them and will be seeking a new gym.

My city is in lockdown, but they’ve been able to skate around that by saying its a private gym and its “members only” although new people have been signed up.

If its an issue that they want to press, I’m here to press it legally and will use every tool in my toolbox to destabilize the staff and the business.

I’m so fed up with this shit at this point. I believe I’m attracting these things and have been working to change my viewpoints on such. Things have gotten much better, and with the ending of this, should hopefully be much more stable.

I’ll be looking for a new gym as well. The other one that I toured, a Muay Thai gym, had a huge “Don’t Tread On Me Flag” hung up, and while I don’t see why that should stop me in a rational world full of rational adults, its likely forecasting more trouble so I’ll have to find somewhere further from home.

My living situation has also become worse and my landlord and I are not seeing eye-to-eye. For context, she has pictures of Trump on her fridge. Believes the government created CoVid-19, I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this lol. So I’ll likely be moving at the end of August.

#14

Ouch, I canceled my gym membership for a lot less than that. Definitely get away from those guys!

Good idea to move, that does not sound like a healthy environment to be in. Having hostile feelings with people you live with/near/etc is a bad situation. Back in college I rented a basement apartment for a few months and there was all sorts of weirdness there. No political stuff, as this was nearly 20 years ago now, but some weird… almost sexual stuff? The landlady was a single mom, seemed nice at first but as soon as the lease was signed she got aggressive and weird.
It was a basement suite, and that’s where the storage room and washing machine/utility room was. We had an agreement as to what time of the week she would come in to do her laundry (weird situation in and of itself, but my options were limited in that area) but almost immediately, she would just start coming in at almost any time of the day or night.
Sometimes she would be wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties.

Sounds nice, right?

Nope.

There was a maliciousness there that everyone who came to visit picked up on. Like a “go ahead, try something… see what happens!” (I’m not sure if the perceived threat was police charges, or if she’d have got her bf to beat me up… either way, I did my best to ignore her as I didn’t want to find out) She did multiple different things to try to get me to move out, which would have meant forfeiting a big chunk of my lease (again, limited options…)

I even tried to be nice by shoveling ice out of the driveway one day, and ended up slipping and breaking my ankle. Her response? Couldn’t you at least have finished the driveway first? :rage:

I stuck it out until the end of the semester and then my parents came to help me move out… hard to move out of a basement apartment by yourself with a broken ankle!

Anyways… a home should be a sanctuary. If it’s hostile like that, probably a good idea to move to somewhere more appropriate.

Good luck!

#15

Thank you.

Despite the tone of this post things are going quite well.

I know very likely where I will be moving to,

I’m working on getting new employment that should be the most profitable I’ve ever had,

There’s a new relationship brewing in my life that I’m certain I attracted into my reality as well,

New friends,

New passion for martial arts that I will be able to fulfill at a new gym

All of this stuff is falling away to reveal something better.

I have the money to move and the intelligence to handle the situations in my path, so they’re annoyances at best.

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#16

A Love Supreme,

Just wondering if you’ve continued with Survival Instinct and how things have been going?

#17

Any updates or anyone else been using SI?