Yeah… Definitely just my concerns for her… There were multiple moments where the energy screamed to kiss her but I had a barrier up.
I shut down really early last night and did a lot of meditation, I also use ChatGPT to lead me through some cognitive behavioural therapy around this…
Between those two I realize that I’m holding onto a little bit more guilt and blame than I thought around my past relationship.
I’m going to keep on worrying about hurting other people until I let this story go that I’m a bad person and hurt my partner by not marrying her.
Compounded by the fact that, even if I didn’t realize this at the time, short girl is the exact same age that my ex was when I met her, so some subconscious part of me was thinking that I would yet again be wasting another five years of a girl’s life and sending it down a trajectory she didn’t want to go down
Absolutely insane overthinking that I shouldn’t be listening to.
I’m a lot calmer and clearer after the meditation and journalling last night though.
Even found a little bit of my own anxious attachment coming up in this… Am I good enough based on experiences… Preoccupation with somebody else… Stuff like that to continue to work on.
It’s great how subliminals these days don’t just manifest mindsets, they also manifest experiences that will transform growth, so I’m definitely growing massively off this experience and even better. I already had a counselling session scheduled for this morning, I’m walking into that now. And basically the only thing me and my counsellor talk about is Relationships and attachment style.