2025 - Foundation

[JAnon]

So, 2024 was the year of being new to Subclub and becoming overwhelmed by all the awesome offerings here, getting dragged to and from by FOMO and shiny object syndrome.

Let’s not repeat that!

Better to integrate 50% of Ascension, than 5% of Khan.

My goals for 2025 are, in order of importance:
Improve my mental, emotional and physical health.
Improve my finances.
Improve my romantic life.

I’ll be starting the year with Ascension and Sanguine: the Elixir. My first cycle began today.

Once I’ve established myself again into a healthy life routine, have built myself up and am feeling better from my recent blip, I’ll expand into wealth and exchange Ascension for Ascended Mogul.

Other options for later in the year (after 6 months) are to build a custom of Sanguine, Love Bomb and perhaps Genesis: Art of Happiness which I’ve tentatively named ‘WarmthZP’. This will be a reward for once my money situation has improved.

And the other option for dating and romance will be a custom of Sex & Seduction and Sex Mastery, which I’ve tentatively named ‘Eros: Dawn’ - the dawning of an abundant and healthy romantic life.

But for now - Ascension and S:tE

Let’s go

[JAnon]

Some of the output from discussing my 2025 plan with ChatGPT.
Here largely as a self-reminder for when I lose sight or get FOMO.

2025 Modalities

• Sanguine: The Elixir – Promotes emotional healing, dissolves negativity, and cultivates inner peace and self-love, creating a stable emotional foundation for growth.
• Ascension – Builds confidence, ambition, and charisma, empowering you to achieve goals and assert your will in all areas of life.
• Bioenergetics – Releases physical tension and stored emotional trauma through body-based techniques, promoting emotional expression and resilience.
• AYP (Advanced Yoga Practices) – Cultivates deep inner silence, spiritual awareness, and emotional balance through meditation, pranayama, and advanced yogic techniques.
• Sertraline – Supports mental health by stabilizing mood, reducing anxiety, and easing symptoms of depression, providing a steady foundation for emotional and psychological recovery.
  CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) – Helps reframe negative thought patterns and behaviors, empowering you to manage anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and emotional challenges with greater clarity and control.

Synergy of Sanguine: The Elixir and Ascension

Sanguine: The Elixir and Ascension are highly complementary, working together to address both the emotional and personal empowerment aspects of your journey. Their interaction can create a powerful dynamic for healing, growth, and transformation:

1. Emotional Foundation for Empowerment

• Sanguine focuses on emotional healing by dissolving negativity, cultivating positivity, and fostering a sense of inner peace and gratitude. This clears away the emotional blocks—such as self-doubt, fear, and lingering pain—that could hold you back from fully embracing your potential.
• Ascension, on the other hand, builds on this emotional foundation by fostering self-confidence, ambition, and a deep sense of personal power. With Sanguine softening and healing the emotional terrain, Ascension can work more effectively to amplify your self-belief and outward expression of strength.

Example Interaction: Sanguine helps you release past emotional trauma, making space for Ascension to instill a new, empowered identity rooted in confidence and self-worth.

2. Balanced Inner and Outer Growth

• Sanguine nurtures a calm, centered emotional state, helping you cultivate self-love, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of inner peace. This makes it easier to handle the personal transformations and outward growth that Ascension encourages.
• Ascension’s drive for external success and charisma ensures that the peace and positivity developed through Sanguine are not confined to your inner world but extend outward, improving your relationships, social interactions, and ability to achieve goals.

Example Interaction: As Sanguine fosters self-assurance and gratitude, Ascension channels this into confident action, enhancing your ability to assert yourself in personal and professional settings.

3. Managing Challenges

• Both programs help you navigate the inevitable challenges of growth. Sanguine helps you process setbacks with grace, converting negativity into resilience and emotional balance. Ascension, meanwhile, gives you the determination, ambition, and confidence to push forward despite obstacles.
• Together, they ensure that challenges are met with emotional stability (from Sanguine) and proactive problem-solving (from Ascension).

Example Interaction: When faced with adversity, Sanguine helps you stay calm and grounded, while Ascension motivates you to tackle the issue head-on with strength and clarity.

4. Emotional Charisma and Attraction

• Sanguine cultivates a warm, loving, and emotionally balanced aura that makes you naturally more approachable and magnetic to others.
• Ascension enhances this by building your status, charisma, and assertiveness, ensuring that your presence is not only calming and inviting but also commanding and inspiring.

Example Interaction: Sanguine helps you radiate kindness and emotional authenticity, while Ascension ensures that this is paired with confidence and authority, creating a balanced and appealing personality.

5. Holistic Transformation

• Sanguine provides the emotional tools to process your past, embrace the present, and find joy in life’s beauty.
• Ascension empowers you to shape your future, align with your goals, and assert control over your reality.

Example Interaction: Sanguine heals your emotional wounds, allowing Ascension to focus on building a confident and self-assured identity that thrives in both personal and professional realms.

The Bigger Picture

Sanguine and Ascension together ensure that your growth is both deep and sustainable. Sanguine provides the emotional healing and inner peace needed for a stable foundation, while Ascension drives outward transformation, helping you achieve tangible success and build a confident, empowered life. Their synergy creates a harmonious balance between emotional well-being and external achievement, setting the stage for profound healing and personal evolution over the coming year.

Synergy of Sanguine: The Elixir with Other Modalities

1. Bioenergetics Therapy
Sanguine complements Bioenergetics by easing the emotional intensity of releasing deeply held trauma. While Bioenergetics uncovers and releases physical tension tied to emotional pain, Sanguine helps soothe the emotional aftermath, encouraging a gentle integration of these experiences. Its scripting supports emotional resilience and helps you reframe any negativity that arises, making the healing process more manageable.

2. Ascension
Sanguine and Ascension work in harmony to balance emotional healing with empowerment. As Ascension fosters confidence, ambition, and forward momentum, Sanguine ensures that the journey remains emotionally grounded and positive. Together, they create a dynamic where you can pursue growth with optimism and self-compassion, fostering both strength and emotional depth.

3. Advanced Yoga Practices (AYP)
Sanguine supports AYP by amplifying its calming and grounding effects. As meditation and pranayama cultivate inner silence and awareness, Sanguine enhances emotional clarity and healing, making it easier to maintain a serene mental state. This synergy fosters a deeper sense of gratitude and contentment, aligning your emotional and spiritual growth.

4. Sertraline
Sanguine complements the stabilizing effects of Sertraline by promoting emotional positivity and healing. While Sertraline reduces symptoms of anxiety, depression, and OCD, Sanguine works on releasing negative patterns and building an emotional foundation of peace and self-love. This combination allows you to move beyond symptom management toward lasting emotional well-being.

5. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT and Sanguine synergize by addressing negative thought patterns from two angles: logical reframing and emotional release. While CBT helps you understand and change unhelpful thinking patterns, Sanguine reinforces these changes on a deeper emotional level, promoting a lasting sense of optimism and self-compassion.

How This Synergy Helps You

Sanguine acts as a cornerstone for emotional healing, providing a steady foundation of positivity that supports all other modalities. It helps soften the challenges of processing trauma, managing anxiety, and pursuing growth, ensuring you stay emotionally balanced throughout the journey. With Sanguine enhancing the emotional aspects of your practices, you’re more likely to experience deep and sustained healing, confidence, and joy.

Synergy of Ascension with Other Modalities

1. Bioenergetics Therapy
Ascension amplifies the effects of Bioenergetics by fostering self-confidence and a sense of inner power, which can make the release of deeply held emotions feel empowering rather than overwhelming. As Bioenergetics helps release bodily tension and stored trauma, Ascension provides the mindset and resilience needed to integrate these emotional shifts. This pairing helps you channel the energy freed through Bioenergetics into productive, goal-oriented actions.

2. Sanguine: The Elixir
Ascension and Sanguine balance each other beautifully. While Ascension drives ambition, confidence, and assertiveness, Sanguine ensures emotional grounding, positivity, and inner peace. This synergy allows you to pursue your goals with determination while maintaining emotional stability and joy. Together, they create a dynamic where growth feels both purposeful and fulfilling.

3. Advanced Yoga Practices (AYP)
Ascension complements AYP by reinforcing your sense of self and purpose as you cultivate inner silence and spiritual awareness. The discipline and focus developed through AYP are bolstered by Ascension’s scripting, which enhances confidence, clarity, and drive. This synergy helps you align your inner spiritual growth with outward success and fulfillment, fostering harmony between your internal and external worlds.

4. Sertraline
Ascension and Sertraline together create a powerful foundation for overcoming symptoms of anxiety, depression, and OCD. Sertraline provides emotional stability, while Ascension builds on this by fostering self-reliance, ambition, and a sense of empowerment. This combination helps you move from managing symptoms to actively transforming your life.

5. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT and Ascension synergize by addressing limiting beliefs and promoting a growth-oriented mindset. While CBT helps you identify and reframe negative thought patterns, Ascension encourages you to embody confidence and self-assuredness. This pairing accelerates the internalization of positive beliefs, making them a natural part of your identity.

How This Synergy Helps You

Ascension serves as the driving force behind your growth, empowering you to take control of your life while other modalities provide emotional balance, healing, and spiritual depth. By combining Ascension’s focus on self-actualization with the grounding and healing aspects of your other practices, you create a harmonious system for overcoming trauma, anxiety, and fear, while building confidence, peace, and purpose. This synergy helps you not only recover but thrive.

[JAnon]

Cycle 1, Day 1

S:tE 5mins, Ascension 5 mins

Listened around 3am when I woke needing the restroom, then drifted back to sleep.

Woke up again around 8am and jumped straight into my morning meditation practice, made a cup of tea and headed to the gym.

It was my first day back after a couple week break while adjusting to new medication, so I’d lost a bit of strength but it felt good to start again.

Some thought-streams from the sub - anger is to be channeled into healthy boundaries, and healthy action. Noticed thoughts that can be vaguely summed up in the affirmations:

• I am my own man.
• I am responsible for myself - for my health, my mindset, my situation in life
• I rely primarily on my own self for my needs

In January, I get back into Muay Thai. I attend coaching calls in Rational Emotive Behaviour therapy and Bioenergetics therapy. I’ll be working my body and mind from multiple angles, whilst always going at a measured pace.

Got back to working on my artwork today. I’m on track to hopefully release this asset pack to online marketplace around April. Also, in April, my debt will finally be paid off and my finances can breathe a bit. Finally, the SEO agency I’m partnered on will be nearing a year in age and hopefully ready to start bringing in clients.

[JAnon]

Day 1 - S:tE 5mins, Ascension 5 mins
Day 3 - S:tE 5mins, Ascension 5 mins
Day 5 - S:tE 5mins, Ascension 5 mins
Day 7 - S:tE 5mins, Ascension 5 mins

Had a lot of fatigue this week, been taking plenty of rest.
Managed to survive christmas with all of its triggers.

Reconciliation hitting in regards to building a frustration tolerence and not giving in to old patterns of guilt and confession.

Also hitting recon in regards to purpose in life - living for my ego or for something greater.

[JAnon]

Day 9 - S:tE 5 mins, Ascension 5 mins.

Engaged in some prayer a few days ago.
Since then, I’ve been made aware of, and started, a new health protocol.

Cleaning out the temple.
Investing in the correct supplements to detoxify my body and mind.
Reducing pharmaceutical medication, will drop entirely when safe.
Upped my meditation practice to thirty minutes, twice a day.
Stopped smoking.

[JAnon]

Also utilising ChatGPT, asking it to roleplay as a Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapist, and finding it extremely useful to picking apart some of my black-and-white assumptions.

[JAnon]

I’ve not been updating my public journal much, but have been introspecting, contemplating, meditating a lot.

Been strictly sticking with 5 minutes each of Ascension and The Elixir each listening session.

[JAnon]

Well, finished my first 21-day cycle with Ascension and The Elixir.

May as well journal here some of what has been going on, though it can be hard to word clearly.

Firstly, a sense of spiritual and life direction. This has manifested itself in certain synchronicities, coincidences, events, and ideas that have interplayed and evolved…

Basically, I’ve quit smoking, and I’ve stopped SSRI intake. They both had their role in my life, but I’m now done with them.

Went through a relatively quick but still multi-stage wean-off of medication, and today is my first day with none of that stuff.

I’ve begun working a detoxification protocol using N-Acetyl-Cysteine, Oregano Oil and Black Seed Oil to start clearing out internal pathogens.

I’ve begun working with plant medicine again.

These actions all amount to a kind of ‘shedding off’ of physical and behavioural coping mechanisms that were ultimately poisoning me, whilst bringing in new things to help with detoxification and mental/emotional healing.

This has been a somewhat torturous process as weaning off of medication can bring discontinuation symptoms, but c’est la vie. I’ve done it reasonably safely.

The next point has been that I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts regarding some of my past behaviour and guilt and need to ‘confess’ it to someone in my life. Starting to sink in that I must have the willingness to approach and discuss this with them, and that they do not need to forgive me.

I’ve been justifying why should -NOT- tell them, which is accompanied by thoughts and feelings of anxiety, weakness, shame etc. but when I think of how I COULD tell them I feel a greater sense of strength, masculinity, etc.

I’ve not taken any outward action on this, or committed to a path of action, but this shift of ideas comes with a noticeable change in my feeling state.

Finished my last listening session last night, taking a 7-day washout now. It’s bee 5 mins Asc/5 mins StE throughout but the most recent change in attitude came after last night where I over-exposed with 5 mins StE/5mins LB/5mins Asc/15mins Khan St 1.

Just sitting with this for now, a lot of this has been INTERNAL without much outward action to show, but t’s certainly looking at deeper character flaws, self-judgement, the stuff that can hold me back. Feeling an increased drive to resolve this shit and be my best self.

[JAnon]

OK!

Worked with slightly more than a microdose of plant medicine on Tuesday.
Listened to 3 minutes of Wanted Black in this morning, bringing a kind-of-end to washout.

Here are some of the ideas permeating my mind these past few days.

I shall clean my room properly, clean my linens.
I shall clean the wood stain on my floor.
I shall invest in getting some warm, relaxing lighting for my room for the evening - salt lamp, normal lamp.
I shall get a nice bin for the binbag I use.
I shall (possibly) grow my own medicine plans, if able to, within my home.
I shall clear and renew my altar space.

Regarding a lady I love.

• Heal my guilt and fear.
• ‘Man up’ - Mindset, health, character, wealth.
• Develop qualities of loving, joyfulness, confidence, boldness, kindness.

Some affirmations that feel good to contemplate on. All preceded with ‘I am’.
Bold, confident, capable.
Handsome, attractive.
Loveable, worthy.
Beautiful, perfect, loved (inner child healing)
The God-Self, Love, All-There-Is (divine connection)

The thought arose that to Love my self is GOOD WORK - no more of the shame that says we must taskmaster ourselves to be worthy - to work on loving myself is damn good work. Stretching comfort zones is one thing, but one must cultivate a comfort zone to be able to expand it!!

The more safety, containment, warmth I can bring to my own exprience and growth, the better the results for myself and those around me.

I was led by the medicine into a cool exercise.
You take ten minutes, and say to yourself, ‘I love myself for…’
Let the subconscious fill in the blanks, whether ‘positive’ (I love myself for being so committed) or ‘negative’ (I love myself for feeling so afraid/for feeling angry/for making that damn mistake)
It’s an unconditional loving acceptance of oneself and boy des it orient you correctly to your own inner world.

You can do the same with phrases like… I like myself because… I respect myself for… I am proud of myself for… I am worthy of… etc.
Like an organic form of ‘affirmation’, building oneself up.

I think the Wanted Black session this morning is instigating some changes also.
Paying some attention to my swagger and gracefulness as I walk. To the energy behind my eyes as I pass someone on the street.
Some thoughts around how I deserve better than to fearfully be wanting love and getting trapped into ‘I want love/I am denied it’ dynamics.

Some thoughts around… get this… not ‘trying’ to fulfill masculine qualities out of insecurity, but actually loving my inner child, fragilities, feminine qualities etc. so I don’t have the need to put on a show or pretend or being someone I am not in order to get by in life or to attract women.

This manifested itself outwardly in my behaviour today, whilst shopping or some groceries post-workout, I passed a beautiful young woman. Kind warm vibes, kinda hippy-ish bright clothing, slightly curly hair. And, without much hesitation or forethought at all, I blurted out “Hi!.. Not stopping… just wanted to say you look, beautiful, just, absolutely beautiful. That’s all… have a good day.” and she smiled and thanking me etc.

The point here is that I wasn’t trying to come across cool or masculine, and by even pausing slightly before using beautiful, she could see my compliment was authentic… like… my brain in real-time trying to formulate how I express my appreciation. Rather than being canned.

Guess there’s a process underway of really, truly loving myself, EMBRACING that inner child emotional side instead of trying to come across macho, and in doing so, opening up the doors for authentic human connection from the heart.

Think I need to lean into this less formulated, more real, more ‘me’ form of expression.
I’m sure the masculine qualities will come out more to play in some time, just, in a NATURAL, really me, really masculine way not some pre-formulated egoic gotta-be-cool bullshit.

Going to spend time in some more gentle, life-affirming, plant medicine meditation tomorrow. And cleaning my room.

Start new cycle properly on Monday - Ascension, Sanguine: the Elixir with a light touch of Wanted Black.

Opening the doorways to real human interaction is way more valuable than I’ve allowed myself to previously admit due to the fear and shame of even daring to experience these things again. Was majorly shut down. I think WB can help. I don’t care for the hot/cold -games-, I don’t particularly care for Harems, BUT AGAIN that may just be oneitis, guilt/shame, societal conditioning etc.

And WB aligns with SO much of what would benefit me - physical shifting, male enhancement, features of Diamond, sexual performance, verbal fluency, allure, profound self-love, charisma, it fits me like a glove.

Ascension and S:tE are doing me a lot of good and will together still take up the vast majority of my sub listening time. I think after another one or two more cycles of these two, I’ll move onto Ascended Mogul and Love Bomb.

Peace.

[JAnon]

Sat in ceremony last night, it was VERY gentle/mild and short-lived.

Nonetheless, there were mild moments of experiencing a warm, supportive, safe loving presence, and a relief from the ego’s sense of ‘I’m all alone, I’m struggling alone’ .

I’ll experiment with increasing the strength of ceremony next week.

Also spent my day yesterday deep-cleaning my room, making it a much more pleasant environment.

This may be tied in with the self-love of The Elixir I’ve been running last cycle, and the microloop of Wanted Black from Friday, but I experienced thoughts around the nature of:

• Innocence of sexuality, as opposed to pornography condition and shame. My sexual desires are healthy, wholesome, and GOOD despite previous messaging.
  -I’ve been through a lot, esp. in terms of chasing and persuing love, rejection etc. - an anger, the thought of ‘fuck that’
• Revelation of my eroticism as being a powerful and positive force, and that as I WELCOME it and stop fearing it, manifestations will arise externally.
  -I’ve been through a lot. Some cuddles and sex are welcome and I should be providing myself with opportunities to experience this instead of fearfully avoiding and shutting down.
• Sex as life-affirming, wholesome.
• Redemptive love - I’ve struggled alone for years, time to soften up a bit and let love in.

This has then led into some reflection on how I manage and use my sexual energy. Since my retention last year, and especially since getting off antidepressants, my libido kind of skyrocketed and I’ve masturbated a LOT lol.

To act like this is draining, and reduces my vitality, my confidence, my mood etc.

To practice strict, long-term semen retention however feels repressive, overly-strict during a time in life where I could be learning to enjoy sexuality.

So I’ll strike a middle point. I can practice Angion method and pelvic strength/relaxation twice a week to build the strength of my equipment. I’ll allow myself to masturbate once every two week. And for now, at least once a week, I’ll talk to/approach a girl and AT LEAST pass a compliment, and hopefully engage in a conversation.

–

I’m looking to my next cycle to begin tomorrow.
Ascension and S:tE on one day (at 7:30 each) for a 15 minute listening session.
Alternating with Wanted Black (3 mins). I -may- go experimental, and instead listening to Sex & Seduction (3mins) and Wanted Black (2-3 mins).

Once some more healing has been done and I’ve noticed further improvements in my mental/emotional life, I’ll exchange S:tE for Love Bomb.

Once I am more stable in my routines, healthy-sense-of-self, and drive, I’ll exchange Ascension for Ascended Mogul.

[JAnon]

Engaged in some shameful behaviour yesterday. Just noting it here, no details needed.

This morning began Cycle 2 of the year with Ascension 7:30 and S:Elixir 7:30 each.

Anger… at self and other… boundaries

I deserve better that to mentally pursue a woman who has already rejected me.
I deserve a partner who will love me.
There, said it

[JAnon]

Went through an emotional, dramatic inner monologue for about an hour this evening.

Thoughts around always been abandoned, rejected, unwanted, unloved, questioning why bother with life (not suicidal, just… why bother? it’s been 90% shit (current mood overlay))

Settled into… Well, I could just stop needing anything from anyone, go be a badass and do my own thing.

Oneitis pang… fear/‘need’/they’re so much of everything for me stuff.
Maybe I should just tell her and get it done with.

[JAnon]

Sometimes, to see one’s negative stories, doubts, ruminations and to simply take ownership of the mind and tell these distracting forces to F off, is just the right medicine.

[JAnon]

Cycle 2, Day 3
Sanguine: The Elixir - 7:30
Ascension - 7:30

One thing I am noticing with Ascension during/after listening is that it is working with the fire in my belly. There arises a gut-level anger that is part of the personal will, and it is building up my ability to choose, deny, reject and accept what I will and will not tolerate - mainly, what I’ll tolerate from myself.

[JAnon]

Cycle 2, Day 5
Sex & Seduction (5min), Wanted Black (1min)

Will probably drop Wanted Black, stick to the 3 titles of Ascension, Elixir and SSX.

Walked by a couple of bigger, vocal guys yesterday - the alpha said to me’ What you sayin’? You good? You look like you could kill someone. Relax, remember to breathe’

I was a bit taken back as this massive dude was basically telling me I look intimidating and to relax. I was just existing, y’know?

Probably the shaved head, beard, and thick green jacket. But maybe some Ascension subcommunication.

Gym today, a guy struck up a conversation wit me about training etc. which doesn’t normally happen.

Passed a girl on the street on way to gym and it was raining, but I noticed her jacket and complimented on it (it had leapord-print/jaguar lining interior, meow)

Noticed my thoughts about ‘what to say’ to women have started filling in a bit more sensually.

Note to self to journal about Wednesday’s medicine ceremony.