ZP Journal (CHOSEN SOLO) - Ichiban is going up the ladder

Journals - Major Programs
#13

Dec 12:
Something I haven’t mentioned so far is that I’ve been feeling hornier than usual. This doesn’t seem like something that should be in the scripts, so I think it comes from having less mental clutter and thus more mental energy to engage in these kind of thoughts.

In a broader sense, I feel I have a larger appreciation for beauty in many forms; it can be music, art, or anything. I catch myself seeing the good in many situations. For instance, it’s happened more than once that I see a woman which I would not consider attractive, but I find myself thinking “oh, she has nice legs”, or “she has a beautiful smile, if she lost weight men would be all over her”.

Same with music. I may don’t like a song, but enjoy the voice of the singer. Or something that has happened often is that I may not like a car, but catch myself admiring its color or some aspect of its design.

I wasn’t like this before. I’ve always been more focused on “the package” than the details. Now I can appreciate both separately. Maybe this has to do with finding the good side of all things. I could see this being a way to stay positive, and it’s interesting how it works across many areas.

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#14

Dec 13:
I woke up in a particularly bad mood today, which never happened since starting CHOSEN.

Despite the bad mood I can definitely tell CHOSEN is acting because my kids broke something important to me this morning and I was unaffected. It’s like magic, nothing throws me off these days.

Regarding the bad mood, I’m pretty sure I’m feeling like this because of my diet choices this weekend. I ate all the candy in the world and then some. Like I’ve said before, I watch my diet very closely, so any deviation is rare and typically doesn’t make me feel good.

CHOSEN is making me crave sweets and also tends to make me more “balanced” in my approach to anything. My strict dieting is not a great fit for CHOSEN because I keep justifying “exceptions” to my rules. It could also do with the fact that I’m currently under my normal weight and CHOSEN is pushing me to correct this. I have been training for a triathlon and my weight has dropped significantly. To the point where I don’t like myself in pictures because I look gaunt. I feel great, but I’m definitely more visually appealing with a few more pounds.

In any case, I’m correcting this immediately. I know that results are largely the same whether I give in regarding eating sweets or not, so I’ll control myself and will go back to my regular diet. I’ll drink plenty of water and sleep as much as I can, which are the other two things CHOSEN is pushing me to do.

Also, I decided to drop RICH starting today. Reading through my posts I barely ever mention RICH. It’s probably doing its thing in the background, but I honestly don’t think I need it.

Regarding adding WANTED, I’m still hesitant for three reasons:

  1. CHOSEN and WANTED are two very different archetypes, so I’m concerned results would be diluted. Also, the combination may make me feel unstable, just as I felt when mixing Emperor and Stark. I know this has worked for many people, but it didn’t do it for me.
  2. Questionable application of WANTED to business relationships. I’m not interested in attracting the opposite sex because, being married, this can only lead to trouble. If WANTED has no business application then it’s not worth it for me to add.
  3. I want to add HOM whenever it becomes available. Seeing that Mogul was recently added, maybe it won’t be too long before HOM gets added as well. I prefer to keep only two ZP titles, so WANTED will be replaced anyway and I prefer not to switch too often.

Finally, a big change is that I don’t notice the mood uplift anymore. Except for this morning, I have been in a constant good mood throughout the day. I guess this is my new baseline and the reason why I don’t notice my mood getting better after running CHOSEN.

I’m cautious to consider this permanent change, though, because I’m still running it and I suppose my mood could deteriorate overtime if I stopped. In any case, a “maintenance” schedule whereby I run CHOSEN once a month would probably fix this.

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#15

Dec 14:
I seem to be going through some reconciliation. It’s a shame because everything was going great, but something shifted yesterday and it’s been downhill since then.

I woke up fairly ok, but my mood gradually worsen throughout the day and it’s pretty shitty right now.

Things at home are not helping. My wife is getting on my nerves. I don’t feel like getting into the details here but she is being selfish and asking for too much from me.

I’m very busy all the time, already spread too thin, so being pushed to give more is throwing me off. Particularly when she acts entitled about it.

Also, I’ve been super distracted and unmotivated at work. This doesn’t help, of course, because work is piling up at a faster rate than usual and that makes me procrastinate even more.

Based on how I’m feeling, I’m thinking a longer rest period is in order. Today was a rest day, but I’m going to skip tomorrow as well. I’ll return to my listening schedule either the next day or the day after based on how I’m feeling.

#16

Dec 15:
Even though today wasn’t a rest day, I didn’t run anything to limit creeping feelings of reconciliation. Since tomorrow is a rest day, I’m thinking of not running anything either, that way I can go back on schedule the following day. Even then, I’ll probably run only one loop to gauge how I react before going back to my regular plan.

Today I felt I bit better than yesterday, but far from how I felt when I started using Chosen. I’m definitely not in a good mood, but not in a bad one either.

Now that I think about it, I’m in a pretty decent mood considering today’s ups and downs. I’ve been told at work that I may need to start a project early next year, instead of being able to focus on business development. This sucks because it’s a project outside of my practice area, so it doesn’t support my career progression and will take time away from me developing business where I should. Also, it will probably require that I travel to Mexico and I’m not keen on getting back into the dynamic of Monday through Thursday travel.

On the flip side, I found out that I can already pick up my new company car tomorrow, so that is a nice thing happening. Also, I was contacted by a recruiter of a well-known consulting firm asking me to interview with them. That is also good news. I’m not particularly interested in switching companies now, but it doesn’t hurt to have an offer to use as leverage if I need to. Good timing as well. If I end up not getting promoted in three months I can take this exit instead. They are hiring for the next level, so it’d be a promotion even if I leave for this company.

Aside from that, I feel I have more energy. I didn’t sleep much, only about 4 hours, and yet I’m feeling less tired than in the past two days. Running ZP does take a significant amount of mental energy. It’s incredible considering the shorter duration and that I was running only 2 loops every other day.

Last thing to note is that, even though my mood is less than ideal, the increased confidence and gravitas has not diminished despite the reconciliation I’m going through. I’m getting the impression that results have various levels of permanency. I’m assuming this varies person to person. In any case, I’m happy to see not everything is lost.

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#17

Dec 16:
Taking time off was a great decision. I need to stop thinking that more loops lead to faster or better results. With ZP this is certainly not the case.

I’m progressively feeling better and noticing many of the benefits from CHOSEN. Especially that of being almost immune to stress, worry and negativity.

I was in a situation today where I was running a meeting with about 10 people, while I had a technician fixing my spin bike and constantly asking me questions. Somehow I was able to handle it and never felt stressed or out of control. Something like this would’ve been extremely stressful before, now it was a non issue.

With results like this it is always very weird because I can still see how I should feel stressed, yet I don’t. It’s not like I’m a different person who doesn’t think of a situation like that as stressful. I still do, but I don’t feel it.

As planned, I’ll return to my schedule tomorrow, but will only run one loop. I’ll keep it at one loop every other day until I am consistently free of reconciliation. If all goes well I may increase to two loops every other day, since I’m only running CHOSEN. On the other hand, if I go back to feeling reconciliation I’ll follow the latest listening instructions Saint shared today and take two rest days instead of one in between loops.

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#18

Dec 17:
Great results today even though I’m yet to run the loop I had planned.

I was at the dealer because my car was having issues with one of the charging ports. As always, thanks to Chosen I was not even a little upset, although I had plenty of reasons to be.

Also, the treatment I received there was like I’ve never had before. Everyone was super helpful and treated me with a level of respect new to me. This is even more shocking considering I was very casually dressed, so nothing in my attire would indicate that I was a person of high status.

Oh, and I noticed much more attraction from women too. Especially an attractive lady that must’ve been in her early 40s. I was waiting at the dealer minding my business when I realized she was shamelessly staring. By the way she looked at me, there was only one thing in her mind and it was rated R :wink:

So, again, very happy with how things are progressing. After a three-day rest, it seems I’m finally out of the woods. No more signs of reconciliation.

I’ll run a loop before going to bed and will report tomorrow on how that goes.

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#19

Feels good to have the treatment without needing to look the part doesn’t it?…subclub sure knows how to bring the respect flowing from others and consistently too.

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#20

For sure. People should respect others regardless, but the reality is that wearing a suit typically makes a difference in how you get treated. With Chosen it doesn’t matter, it must create some sort of aura that triggers these responses in people around you.

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#21

Dec 18:
Yesterday I ended up not running the loop at night as I had intended. I was too tired and didn’t want to fall asleep with it on.

I ran it this morning instead, so I ultimately took four days off subs. As I said before, it was a very needed rest. ZP certainly takes a toll and less is oftentimes more.

So far so good. It’s still early in the day, but no signs of reconciliation so far and my confidence and mood are on point.

I’ll rest tomorrow and will run my next loop on Monday if everything keeps going well.

#22

Yea society in general is still about style over substance half the time.

#23

I’m feeling my patience slipping. I can’t blame it on reconciliation, though, that couldn’t be…I ran one loop of Chosen this morning after four days rest.

What I think is going on is that I started vacations today. I’m off work until January 4th. This should be good news, but lately I realized I feel better when I have work to do, otherwise my day gets pushed around with family commitments and an unending list of chores.

Today I have not stopped doing shit for others since I woke up at 6.30am. It’s after 10pm and I’m too tired to do anything I’d actually enjoy now that the day is finally over. This is very regular, by the way, and it pisses me off like few things do.

To end with something more positive, this morning I was in a very good mood, positive and confident. Typical feelings I get from Chosen, and they lasted until 5pm or so. This is why I think it’s not reconciliation this time. It’s simply that my home responsibilities are too much for me too handle sometimes.

#24

Are you the type that has an issue saying no?

#25

Depending to whom. When it comes to my family I have that issue 100%

#26

I have the same issue. I’ve been finding it easier to say “no” since I started listening to ZP.

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#27

Yeah, I’m hoping that’s what it does for me as well. What I struggle with is that I spend so much time at work that is difficult for me to say no when I finally have the time for them.

#28

Stretch yourself too thin and you’ll end up being torn (figuratively speaking). Try and balance that out with at least one act of self care daily

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#29

Dec 19:
Slightly better mood today, although a bit on edge at times. I was able to control my emotions better, say no occasionally, and take more time for myself.

It was a much less stressful day anyway and I managed to take time to exercise. That always helps me cope with everything better.

I have a job interview tomorrow. It’s with the management consulting company that reached out earlier this week. As I said, not looking to change, but it doesn’t hurt to have a conversation. Often, not wanting something is the best way to get it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the call tomorrow goes well. In any case, this is just a first touch point. The entire process typically involves three or four interviews and takes north of two months. That should be enough time to see if I get promoted at my current company, so I’ll probably be able to make an informed decision if this goes well.

As planned, I didn’t run anything today, but will run a loop of Chosen as soon as I get up tomorrow to be in the right mindset for the call. Not a big deal if this doesn’t go anywhere, but at least I want to be at my best.

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#30

Dec 20:
I ran a loop as soon as I woke up. Not a lot to share. If anything, I’m noticing that I don’t feel the effects as clearly as I did at the beginning.

This is nothing new. The first few days of running a sub I always feel a lot of euphoria and notice significant change around and within me. After that it all becomes normal again, probably because I get used to the results. It doesn’t mean they are not there, but it all becomes less interesting.

Having said that, the call with the recruiter went really well and they want to take me through the recruiting process. I’m still not sure this is the right opportunity for me, but I’m willing to keep interviewing to find out.

Aside from that the day was uneventful. I’m still not feeling any signs of reconciliation, so I’ll continue with one loop every other day and will consider adding another loop after a week or so if nothing changes.

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#31

Dec 21:
I felt pretty weird today. Less thinking than usual and mostly content. Reacting to situations as they come, and not dwelling on anything when things don’t go as planned.

At the same time I have trouble feeling excited or enthusiastic about anything. I’m mostly just ok. Even my wife asked me if there was something wrong because she thought I was pissed at her or something.

The best way to put it is that I feel somewhat detached. Is not a bad feeling, but I wouldn’t consider it a good one either. Again, just ok.

Reading the forum reminded me of the washout period after 21 days. Even though I did an extended rest recently to deal with reconciliation, I think I should follow procedure and do the washout. So tomorrow I’ll be running a loop at some point, and then will take 5 days off. I’ll probably start with two loops after the washout to see how it goes.

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#32

Best advice I can give when you have those “meh” type of moods, just let it pass without trying to force your way out of it. It could also be a good opportunity to approach any issue in your life rationally and clear headed.

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