Day 11
I continue with 2 loops every other day. I’m settling into the subliminal now, the energetic manic feeling is subsiding and I’m interested to see where things go from here.
I’ve had random people visit me at home and I’m getting a lot of texts from people who I normally would not. I like it on one level but on another level it annoys me needing to maintain all these interactions but I think that’s my old thinking, believing I need to be what people expect me to be, rather than believing people can like me for being exactly who I am.
I was reading a thread about being honest in respect to what we all want from subs and although I did not respond to the thread, it did get me thinking.
- to mentor / help others (chosen)
This is a big one because I used to be a teacher when I was younger but insecurities and social anxieties destroyed my career.
- to feel supported and accepted (wanted)
Always feeling the odd one out, starting early in life. I don’t know exactly how this happened, but I am well aware of it. I like the physical shifting of wanted too. I like working out and looking good.
- to overcome past traumas (rebirth)
I’ve done good with this over the years but there’s certain memories that still come up which affect me in a negative way.
I wonder if this will become the future stack and I wonder too if rebirth will end up in zp format. I hope so, I think it would be powerful.