I didnt expect this but i seem to be completely changing my style with clothes. I never paid much attention to clothes but that slowly seems to be shifting a bit and im actually starting ti really like the clothes im wearing and buying completely different style clothes.
i noticed that with the stark too nothing too mind blowing just small improvement in the social aspect more flowing with convos and some minor stuff too
been running it for a week so still new
Lmfaooo so i was reading the journals here and i saw “negative self talk” mentioned. And i just remembered “oh yeah, that was a thing i had”.
That shit has been completelyy removed in its entirety due to DR and wanted to the point that i even forgot i had that problem to begin with lol.
Its crazy how a sub can do that to you, it can allign you so much with a new reality that you even forget that there was ever a point where you had a certain problem. I guess this is also why people tend to change stacks so often, they just forget the problems they were dealing with that made them choose their stack to begin with.
I just came to a very toxic realisation. If i look back to all my exes, and even just my close female friends, theres one pattern that is usually always there. I lovee trying to be some girls hero when shes really down in the dumbs. This has resulted in so much misery for me, for instance when i got with a schizophrenic girl that eventually tried to keep me from leaving by threatening with suicide.
This. This is the thing that got me in all the shitty relationships ive had. This is something i need to change, although im not sure how.
Weird, tonight ive mostly been having bad dreams that were wanted related. In my dream there was some dude, kind of old pedophile like type, that told me with the creepiest look in his face “i want you”. (For the record, im a straight 18 year old dude so for me this would be really creepy). This kind of freaked me out and than a naration litterly came “this is happening because of my subconscious misinterpreting the scripts of the subliminals”. This has got to be one of the weirdest dreams ive ever had, im gonna assume it means mothing though lol, if my dream can recognize that this is not what i want than im gonna assume my subconscious can as well.
Im not sure if i can solely attribute this to stark since the lessening of corona restrictions also greatly helped, but i went from not seeing anyone for a month to hanging out with different people and different small partys (with a lot of precautions like tests beforehand and all that to prevent corona ofcourse) every day for the past week or so since i started stark. Im noticing improvements in how in being welcomed, even among people ive never met before in my life, every day. Stark is truly starting to shine (WANTED really seems to stack extremely well with it).
A QUICK REVIEW
I really like stark thus far. The social aspect and intellectual aspect are already really pronounced, and that after only 2 weeks (it happened kinda gradually too lol). It does kinda feel like it punishes me for relaxing though, i feel the constant need to either find something to learn or socialize or something like that.
With wanted i see quite some results in my behaviour. The loving life is a real big one that i got from the first loop way back and is still very much present. For this alone its probably my favorite sub ive played and i dont think ill ever stop running it. This all said, so far i havent seen to many actual physical manifestations. It got me to but some new clothes i guess, but i dont notice any physical changes just yet nor much overt attraction from girls.
Its okay though, i have pnly been running it for a little over a month thus far so im not expectin gigantic results just yet. Im in it for the long run. I expect that WANTED has quite a lot of conditioning to overpower. Im still a virgin (mind you im 18 and the past year and a half have been quarantine so its not that weird lol), so going from being a virgin to becoming the most WANTED man surely is a big change. Once college starts though this change should be able to happen a lot more gradually wich should help a lot.
i think im finally getting what DR ultima is for. So my experience thus far is that DR ultima basically does what DR ST4 does, but than specifically related to healing things associated with the stack youre running, whereas ST4 just heals everything in general. So since my stack im running right now is stark and WANTED, DRU has mostly been healing things romance and social related. This is why I suddenly got all these romancerelated realisations that i typed out in my previous posts. DR ST4 on the other hand, seemed to work in a far more general and broader sense. The realisations i got on that stage basically affected my entire being, they were more realisations about myself in general.
@TheDerpinator great to hear. DRU definitely has a place in my long-term stack; I likely won’t include much healing titles or custom modules in the future.
Im reallyy loving wanted and stark. As time goes on i just seem to love them more and more. I think i might at some point just make a custom of these two and run them permanently.
I honestly dont have much to report. I very easily seem to have gotten sued to the changes, to the point where i dont even notice them that much anymore. I kinda wish i could throw in heartsong in some way cuz i won it for free and am very curious on how it works. Not neccessairly looking for a “soulmate” or something, but an amazing fwb type thing would be nice.
Alas though, i dont wanna mess to much with the already dense stack that im running, so for now i wont listen to it to much.
Idk why but lately i really seemed to stop caring to much about woman. Idk what it is, this may be because due to stark ive been jerking off way to much for a few weeks. But rn I just kinda… stopped caring to much and started focussing more on myself.
On the stark side of things, ive been socializing a shitton lately, any remnant of social anxiety really is gone. I know this is physically impossible, but it kinda feels like i turned from an introvert to an extravert. This has also automaticly resulted in me spending a lot more time out of my confortzone, wich i love. Ive started taking up bouldering with a few of my friends and its really fun! although really taxing on my muscles. It could be that suddenly taking such a physically intense sport can be somewhat attributed to WANTED? Im not sure. Wanted really hasnt been giving to many noticable results lately, it feels like stark is greatly outshining it. I might start adding an extra loop of wanted in a few weeks to see if that gives it more room to shine. This all said though, the initial results wanted gave me havent faded, i still find myself feeling amazing basically all the time! And at the end of the day, that really is the most important result of all, i stIll LOVE wanted.
Yesterday i said this, and i may have kinda jinxed it lol. My energy kinda came crashing down after so much socializing these past few weeks and im now really socially tired despite today once again seeing a bunch more people. Its okay though, ill soon be going to my forest house and there ill have all the rest in the world.
On a different note, ive been having a lot of recon lately, mostly in the form of wanting to change stacks. The drive to change subs has been insane. Does this mean that a big change is about to happen? I hope its something like that, the drive is kinda insane, and im not sure how much longer id really be able to keep this going if it continues without giving in and adding some new subs.
Are you getting recon on the same routine you posted above?
Yep, still that routine, Qv2 is so intense.
What you mentioned above is the most common symptom of recon but how about some others symptoms? Any feel of overload? Being zoned out? Exhausted? Irascible maybe? Sort of social anxiety?
A bit of a feeling of overload and exhausted, maybe a tiny bit zoned out. But its not to bad
Social anxiety is a huge issue I’ve been having how do you get rid of it?
I was planning on waiting till the end of the week to start a washout, but due to the recon, im starting it early. Ill be taking a washout not, a washout of 11 days to be exact. From what ive read a lot of people during a washout truly start to realise how far theyve come and start seeing even more, greater results. Cant wait to see what ill be experiencing on my washout!
After my washout im planning on changing my schedule btw. I ran into an old post of @Hermit that said that he noticed that even when youre listening to another script, the sub you listened to the previous day goes into “processing mode” as if it were a rest day. Because of this ill be testing out more of a split schedule. So that would be something along the lines of:
Monday: WANTED + DRU
Tuesday: stark
Wednesday: WANTED
Thursday: stark + DRU
Friday: WANTED
Saturday and sunday off.
Aside from this same results would apply off, 3/4 weeks listening, 1 week washout.