Most likely.
I’m reconsidering AHJ’s place in my stack now.
Damn I didn’t expect it to be this strong without microloop.
I thought it was gonna be an easy one like Mogul/DRR1.
Well, it is easy, but unlike the other invisible subs, I must set aside a separate time to digest these changes. It’s not really healing, it’s expanding. And unlike Mogul’s external expansion, which makes it frictionless to run, AHJ’s is more internal. That brings its own set of challenges.
I gotta go back to shorter loops.
Not because of recon, but the results take too much of my focus away, more than I could afford, even after I’ve taken extra preparation for it.
Even though I can just microloop, for this month, I’ll drop AHJ first. Then I’ll pick it up again next month.
Seeing how I’ve mostly figured out my problem with the help of LBFH’s softening effect, I’ll also drop it.
That leaves LE alone in the stack.
Probably for the better too, as I need to recalibrate my focus first.
I’ll take this time to digest the new perspectives at my own pace.
I think HeO would have been great alongside AHJ.
AHJ to expand, HeO to keep the focus on my purpose.
I need to finish the 1-3 month break from HeO first though.
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AHJ opened so much in me.
This shift in my perspective in life is… really broad.
Before this, I was completely focused on my goals.
Few, but focused.
Now I feel open to more.
This is not a bad effect at all, but I gotta focus.
Honestly, I’m at a loss about what to do with this.
On one hand, I know there’s something huge to gain from following AHJ.
On another, I gotta focus on my goals.
MDFY: Freedom might be a good module for my predicament.
But I’ll see first whether microloop will bring a better balance or not.
This could just be an early shock from AHJ after all. It’s too soon to take any drastic action based on it.
That short run of LBFH made me aware of one thing:
I’ve become more discontent, easily annoyed by others’ flaws & incompetence.
Which doesn’t really go against my goals, so I don’t mind having this trait.
But it’ll only take me a little effort to fix this, so there’s no reason not to address it.
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I’m taking an early break from LE.
I have nothing in my stack anymore.
That means the rest of this month will be a long washout.
Unless they update LE this month, lol.
I want to get a better view of how it feels without a productivity sub.
I’ve been using subs with that for more than 2 years anyway.
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I was doing a deep introspection while reading my journal to see what the fuck happened in the past 30 days.
I planned to switch subs (and went ahead with some) so many times.
What the fuck is wrong with me.
I concluded that it might be recon from AHJ + the instability trying to figure out wtf i want to proceed with the new goals shown by it + too much free time than usual + the push to use that time to get as much as i can from it since i’ve prepared it & before i can’t spare my time anymore + etc.
God that was a mess.
I’m glad i journaled at least some of it here. That helped a lot with finding clarity.
I need to think things through before i start listening to subs.
AHJ is still gonna stay.
DRR2 showed me the value of what AHJ can give me, and i’m willing to take the gamble for it.
But anything else that came after it was a recon minefield.
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Hyperman brought a valuable idea back into my consciousness.
The wish to switch subs might be a signal that the sub you’re using is working on said topic.
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That’s right, i feel like something is missing, but nothing is actually missing.
My goal is the raw fulfillment from AHJ that DRR2 led towards.
I started to think that i need this, i need that, wanna try this that.
When I actually just needed to relax and enjoy AHJ’s effects. Because that’s the whole goal of this whole ordeal.
Sigh… this goes to my list of reasons to never jump straight to 15m on a sub.
I really fucked around and found out with this one, rofl.
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I have been in the same situation.
With that experience under my belt and now reading it from an outside perspective, its clear to me that in order to be able to live that raw fulfillment from AHJ, its necessary to address the inner voids, which will feel like you need a lot of stuff, while it comes to the surface to be released.
The hardest part is to actually realize that it is as easy as in relax and enjoy the ride…
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I haven’t thought about it from this perspective.
I’m using AHJ to give me extra fulfilment on top of what HeO has given me.
So it’s building more on top of something instead of filling a void.
But what if it IS a void?
I stick with what I do now because it’s the most fulfilling out of everything else I do.
Some things make me happy, but not fulfilled. I cut most of these out of my life, keeping it minimal.
Some make me feel fulfilled, but the happiness I get from them is spotty. This is what I’m focusing on.
HeO pushed me more to the latter, while DRR2 & AHJ are seemingly pushing me to the former.
What if there’s a void that I wasn’t aware of that AHJ is trying to push me towards?
I feel bad doing them, the happiness feels hollow if it’s not fulfilling.
What I’m trying to get from AHJ is to get more from what I already do, not to explore outside.
But what if gaining understanding by experiencing more can lead me towards what I want from AHJ?
What if there are undiscovered voids that, when they get filled, will lead to improvements everywhere else?
I need to do more introspection on this.
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Still no urge to listen yet.
I guess the urge to take a long washout wasn’t one of the recon back then. It was actually my intuition telling me to chill out and process things thoroughly before going back to subs again.
I feel… light.
Lighter than when I microlooped the hell out of subs + using shorter cycles.
This feels good. I need to take long washouts seriously from now on.
2+ years of nonstop sub use without a long washout is bound to strain me at some point.
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When you return, are you going to try a solo title cycle?
I doubt I’ll be able to stick to just one, rofl.
1 will give me the fastest result, but i have no sub that requires such focus.
2 feels like the right balance.
One as the main archetypal sub (HeO), the other as a booster (DRR, LE etc).
I think there’s no reason not to use a booster when i have the slot for it.
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It’s time to listen again.
I suddenly felt that “yep, now”.
It must be my intuition giving me the signal.
2+ weeks of washout. Not bad.
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Huh, seems like one of the blockages relating to this has finally melted.
Horaay HeO + DRR2.
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