I’m so acclimated to saying or thinking “I’m in recon” when it would be more accurate to say “I’m processing”. More mentally-oriented than physically, thoughts not having words, being “out of it”, not as focused on the tasks in front of me. Not something I’d inherently regard as negative or a “symptom”, just a different mental orientation. My focus being elsewhere, less bound by words, more in sync with myself rather than the things surrounding me.
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I keep having the thought that I’ve become a lucky person lately. I’ve always had what people consider good luck in the past, but it’s something I’ve just been used to. This past month though, it’s gotten to the point even I have to say I think something’s up. My luck’s always felt unconscious, something really helpful but nothing I’m too focused on or would think about much. But now it’s something that’ll impact more parts of my day, quality of life, and generally just be good. Is it the goal of ASBR to continuously give me window seats (or have the seat next to me empty… or getting upgraded altogether despite not having status with the airline) despite not paying for them, when I used to get middles all the time (including while I was running the title)? What about things just intuitively making more sense? People being nicer? Things happening in a specific way just to make my life easier? These things serve my convenience in a way that I can’t describe it in any other way than luck (or the underlying force behind it). Either way, I’ll gladly accept just being a lucky person now.
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Many thoughts, just want to say this is my perfect stack. Every aspect feeds into the other, daily expression, etc etc. The most I’ll ever do is rotate another title in for certain specialization. Or just make it into a custom including one of these three. It takes a lot to make me stick to a title, so idk what kind of luck it was that two of them that I’d keep forever dropped back to back.
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What’s the third title?
Stark black, raikov and…
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WDB, running since day one.
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I’m glad people are starting to see the hype in WDB that I was, but RAIKOV is still being slept on imo. On top of its “what the fuck I never thought it could be used to do that” factor, it’s just so good for any area. There’s no area in life where it doesn’t help you to have better memory, be more competent, learn faster, and be more confident in what you know. I feel like stacking those two with any wealth title turns a stack into a 10/10. WDB keeping me funny during class, RAIKOV making sure I always know what I’m doing or learn it very fast. I’m utilizing SB’s fame and attention aura with those now and it’s sooooo smooth. I love how all three titles are in different build strengths too, signifying the different areas I want them to work in. Stark Black underlies everything always, RAIKOV lets me absolutely finesse anything and be like “what if I modeled and visualized that?” on top of making me smart, confident, and fluid in every part of my life. WDB adds the fun, softening those two, authenticity carrying over into every part of life, and keeping a steady stream of attraction. It’s the one title I think would cause recon if I upped the build at the moment, so I’m glad to keep it where it’s at. Plus it gives me more flexibility to process it like a normal title vs jumping into the deep end of density.
Even thinking I could handle Terminus^3 or 4 of SB since it’s just been that long and I’m able to work with the structures being addressed directly. It’s nice controlling the pace of how things progress and using it to grow internally as I start to do more. It’s less of “I want to do this” and more of “I want to grow into the person that does this.” Since I’m still in school and still in a free growth period I might as well farm as much exp as I can LOL. It’s not like I haven’t already been missing classes to do things. I want to have fun working with this strength for a little while though. Besides, once ZPU is out all the power levels will jump again so I’ll be able to get my T^4 build soon enough 
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RAIKOV immediately pulled me out of recon without me even trying to have it do that. Was in a funk for a few minutes and thought why was I feeling bad when I was fine earlier. Thought back to the fact that I was in a different mental place and bam, immediately went back to that self before I even had time to consciously understand any of it. Immediately back to the observer and guide role that Regen helped me develop.
A lot of the modeling feels pre-conscious, happening the moment there’s an impulse to be somebody rather than me thinking about it. Not limited to “mentors” and so long as there exists a commonality between me and that person, the jump just happens. Even if I’m just seeing a picture or imagining them for a second. There definitely exists a commonality between me at certain points of time and different levels of awareness, so this feels really easy and almost like a hack. Shifting states just feels like a push on the back accompanied by a voice on some level saying “Be him.” or “Be her.”
EDIT: Curious of the implication this has of not feeling recon being potentially perceived as a skill rather than something inherent. If I take this viewpoint considering literally anything, I can start to rapidly take on identities of my best selves and essentially master anything I’ve ever been remotely good at doing, so long as I knew what I was doing in the moment. New meaning to “if you can envision it, you can do it.”
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Dream about me entering an exclusive event. One of the people with me representing the more “free” nature I’m starting to accept. He got through the security by showing that he knew the person who owned it, currently thinking that on a base level it represents the more connections and prestigious things that this freedom allows. For me, I had a shoulder bag full of nametags I could choose from. I was able to put on the identity of someone insanely well-known and actually sponsored by the owner. We both were able to get in through our own ways, and I feel like that represents the two approaches I have access to. I myself can be free and well-connected as my own identity, or I can take on the one of someone that’s insanely well-respected and idolized.
Dreams, thoughts, and visualizations are vivid and transition to one another naturally. Subtle (and some not subtle) WDB results but I’ll be reflecting on that more. It feels like I need to “defrost” when it comes to actually talking and being witty at the same speed I normally am. The thoughts are all there, but since I’m used to thinking in more complex meanings that don’t necessarily have verbal equivalents (or I’m thinking too fast to put words to them), I messed up a word or two a few times when making jokes. The meaning still landed at least. Same concept carrying over to games and more everyday things. It’s like I have to defrost since I’m so in my head and thinking in more RAIKOV ways. After a few hours I got the hang of things though, and it felt like both RAIKOV and WDB were acting as storytelling boosters since I was able to intuit pacing and how people were feeling. It was super difficult having to put graph theory concepts into the everyday terms that an example was working in. I had to first solidify and map it in my own mental language, and then translate it to normal words, and then the way they wanted.
Currently a little destabilized so I don’t know how often I’ll post, it’s a lot of shifts with processing a Terminus sub and immediately using that to process my other ones. Very freeing though, and I know I’m bound to start experimenting with visualizing and manifesting, if it’s even conscious. Visualizing doesn’t feel like a practice or something I dedicatedly do, it’s just a natural part of life and my thoughts. If I think of a hypothetical scenario or try to simulate something, it’s in insane detail even to the point of shocking me. It’s been six days and I’m already getting all of this with a ton of setup and avenues of growth. It’s making me question just how much I’m not seeing with ASBR and how many things are going on, considering a single RAIKOV loop is targeting so much at once. Thinking that once something falls into place or sync with my deeper subconscious, that there will be insanely destabilizing growth. I haven’t been sleeping as much, which might be a good thing because I’m not waking up as tired as I used to.
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I was working on a group project and wanted to do something one way, with the three other members disagreeing. At some point my defiance dissolved and I felt like I was being betrayed since this was about something I’d been communicating from the start. I was saying and doing things without knowing why and I felt really weird consciously. All just for everything to somehow go my way in the end. It’s like I subconsciously picked up on something that would bring them to my side and I just did it while it felt like I was acting against everything I wanted. I had no idea what was going on until it was over. Confusing and destabilizing as fuck. REALLY trying to figure out how to even approach life in general if I’m going to keep getting these preconscious state shifts before I even know what’s happening.
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A feeling like mourning the old selves that came before me. The ones that listened to Stark Black with devotion not caring about whether their worlds fell apart. Maybe in reaction to the faster speeds of growth that are being tested. At what point does the current you cease to exist? Consciously, I mean. If all of how we think is influenced by our subconscious structures, then wouldn’t that mean that the moment even one changes, we’ve become a different person? Wouldn’t committing yourself to growth and achieving your goals essentially mean willingly killing yourself every day? You work towards something you want, and at the end of the day, entrust that thing to the you that exists the next day. I guess that’s why the mourning feeling is there. If anything, the emotion feels stronger when the devotion is stronger. Even if temporary, a limiting belief or structure was a part of you, especially if it helped you get to the things that you wanted. It feels like the devotion is going up. Those beliefs are willing to die so that I can get what I want, to sacrifice themselves for my happiness. It’s a little heartfelt and melancholy, since that directly means I’ll be able to move forward faster, but at the same time, it means that “I” am being valued more than anything else that used to exist. Those structures died for me, even knowing I could change my mind or decide to do something else after. That’s how special the me now is considered.
Collecting authorships like they’re candy.
Interesting day and overall externally positive, although I know there’s a lot going on internally that I’m not even used to. WDB is doing its thing, SB is doing its thing, even RAIKOV is doing its thing. A lot of healing and reorienting, but they’re seeing expression already. Stress is existing less and less, since the pressure to be someone else or an “ideal” version of me is fading. The old ideal is getting updated, and without me realizing it, I started becoming him. I always had the mindset that “Future me can decide what’s right and wrong. He’s guaranteed to have grown, so he’ll have achieved everything I want. If he’s everything I want to be, then he’s the one qualified to have his worldview considered ‘objective’.” Now I’m considered an ideal in some ways, so the responsibility of having a clearer worldview falls on me. Not perfect, but it’s like the past versions of me are relying on me as a mentor, to give them what they wanted and show them what of their worldview was correct or not. I guess it’s on me to resolve that and work through the topics all three subs are hitting right now. Since my results haven’t been as in my face as usual, I’m assuming I need to work through this stuff to hit a bigger breakthrough. Whatever, I’m used to this. I’ve done more than this, I’ve done the work to get here countless times. Keep moving forward with devotion
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I have to look back at every sub I’ve run in the past six months. Me this year and last year are like night and day personality-wise. Almost everything I can remember from last semester just had me wanting to spend more time on my own. Compare that to a year before where I was absolutely dying to hang out with the same people I started putting on the backburner now. I very much value my private life and privacy more than spending time with people I’m not that compatible with. I also just like myself a lot more now and the time I spend relaxing or asleep is honestly a highlight of my day. I’m still friends with the people I got close to after my washout at least. I think it has to do with being more of my true self. The person I was back then with the old friend group was more just me muting parts of myself to feel connection. Now I’m not desperate for that, so the people I spend my time with are the ones I genuinely want to and am comfortable being myself around.
More WDB social results and SB synchronicities like seeing people around. It feels like I have a “type” in friends, where the friendship either exists for a specific purpose or it’s someone I can just talk openly with despite maybe not talking to or spending time with for a period of time. I don’t like feeling pressured to maintain things which is where some past issues have arisen before. Make me feel like I need something and I’ll drop it in a heartbeat. I like people that just let things be as they are and don’t equate it with not putting effort into the relationship, because that’s not what it is. I mean I definitely don’t put effort into some, but that’s usually after they start feeling forced to me. I still maintain ones for years despite only seeing each other a few times a year, to straight up not at all. All this to say that I think I just like my independence and freedom. Curious to see how this will play out in romantic contexts. It was an issue in the past where my interest was fleeting, so it could be that’s something being worked on now. Understanding the root of that nature for me to be more intentional with the relationships I have.
Actually, that’s probably one of the big things my subconscious is telling me right now. I like having a few intentional and truly compatible relationships more than a lot of surface level ones (unless that’s what they were established for in the first place). I should probably be looking out for what people match my values and I’d feel comfortable spending my time with. The ones I feel like I can myself around without pressure, and obviously just trust. I like people that I can ask for advice from and confide in who actually have good input, or at least input that aligns with how I think too.
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In the interest of acknowledging things as they’re being naturalized, WDB making both me and other people more social is a normal occurrence now, with multiple expressions of it happening throughout the day. Improving my relationship with my friends, people I wasn’t as close to being more comfortable, things like that. One of my early journal entries from when I first started listening was about how I’d probably start to become people’s safe space where they can relax and not feel the pressure of everyday life. I think I’m starting to feel that more, including me feeling like my own safe space. Carrying on the work from LB without the insanely strong inward pull. Enjoying socializing and enjoying being on my own aren’t mutually exclusive.
I also might be worse at telling when people have feelings than I used to be. I used to pick up on signals immediately and make full use of them, but I started being harder on myself and stopped giving myself that “benefit of the doubt”, at least subconsciously. So while I may not feel any difference, I know the things I unconsciously pay attention to have to have changed a little. Nonetheless, something I need to work on and am glad I’m running this for the foreseeable future. There are quite a few things I need to confront when it comes to deservingness and attachment. It’ll be uncomfortable, but the moment I get used to it, I know I’ll start flying through those barriers like I do with everything else.
One thing on RAIKOV and some of WDB is that I’ve become very okay with open loops. A lecture I need to catch up on, something that isn’t 100% done. A lot less stress. My friend literally said it sounds like I’m in retirement the way I’m mellowing out. I don’t feel guilty for taking breaks, relaxing, or waiting a little later than I should to finish something, which is a lot different than I was a few months ago. It’s how I used to get everything done and has been there for probably 6 years now. Poof. Now I’m just confident things will work out and that one small thing won’t change my whole future. I already made it here, at a point most people in my life would already consider successful, it’s up to me to consider what moving forward and growth mean. So I’m comfortable being uncomfortable. There will always be things to do, I can’t wait for my schedule to be clear to feel “safe”, that won’t serve me in life. I’ll enjoy as I exist now, and know that everything that’s important is already getting my effort. I’ll grow and do even more things anyway. If this is the amount of growth I’ve made in my first few years of adulthood, I’ll be absolutely fine after now. This is the worst I’ll ever be at being the best version of me.
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Insane emotions flying across the forum lately. More concepts I can go back and address in myself later to make sure I’m being the most refined version of me I can be.
Just found out about another project I can do with a conference to present it at next year. With all going well, this means I’ll have been an author on 4 separate publications before I graduate (with two being first-authored). Absolutely insane as an undergrad.
My results all have a flavor of every sub in my stack, and that’s how I like it. ASBR is my overall framework, WDB takes care of the social and inner confidence, and RAIKOV ensures I’m staying smart and able to pick up on things really fast. I had a meeting today where all three of them showed themselves. WDB kept the conversation fun and flowing, ASBR in driving the direction and new opportunities coming into my orbit, and RAIKOV helping me with learning some data things on the spot. Incredible stack.
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I think I’m feeling this. I’m interpreting a lot of the results as increased friendliness, when it very much could be attraction. Not interpreting these kinds of things as attraction is like a defense mechanism against getting hurt. Instead of letting things be vague, they’re ignored with the thought that even the consideration of it being romantic would lead to getting hurt. I’m already processing RAIKOV to get comfortable with things that are unresolved, this is a direct application that could see benefit. Feelings are what they are, why am I jumping to try to define them so fast? That goes against my philosophy of letting things be. I’ve quite literally been going against my own nature. Everything is fluid, something could be platonic today and romantic tomorrow, why should I care? It’s not impacting my main life goals, so I should stop holding these things in such serious focus. A WDB result is a WDB result. When I like someone, I’ll spend more time with them. None of that changes. Just accept how I naturally am and let things come and go like they always do, the title’s all about authenticity anyway.
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I’m really happy that I’ve found a stack that works for me. Typically I need a more aggressive listening schedule to keep up results, but now that I’ve buffed the builds and found subs that cover every area I want to work on, I’m able to still feel processing and see results days after my last loop.
Also very much loving the LB run that I did a few months ago. Just a few weeks and my inner world changed completely. Now Clear Sight can take advantage of it and keep everything flowing nicely. This is the second day in a row where I just feel happy and excited to rest again, since I know it’ll feel so good to be asleep. Part of my mind is still relaxed, manifesting, and feeling happy thoughts from the dreams I had last night. They’re less like dreams now and more just following trains of thought and hypothetical scenarios, yet they still feel so good. And they connect back to the subs too.
Even classes and just talking to people today were fun. Everything is smooth and it’s like I found the way to best make use of the place I’m at right now. I think I definitely worked through some stuff I was processing a few days ago. Tomorrow will be good too, and the day after, and the day after. I just enjoy what I’m doing, and this is only one part of my life. After I’m fully caught up I’ll get back to doing everything I usually do on the side.
Currently excited to just get back to sleep and to the mental places I was last night. Even just winding down and relaxing too. I’ve been reading a few chapters of slice of life manga before I go to sleep to help relax myself and put me in a positive place, and I’m loving it. I go through phases on and off of reading and the Regen + LB combo shot it through the roof, but I’m doing it of my own volition now. The RAIKOV embed and WDB are doing a really good job of keeping what I liked from those titles prominent in my life.
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Hehe am I making you dream about LB now? 
Would love to hear more about you’re past LB cycle.
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Lol, it’s more like I’m appreciating the long-lasting effects I’m having from a run that wasn’t even a full cycle long.
I’ve mentioned that I became a bit less social and more in my own bubble in the past few months. The SB upgrade started that. Regen made it feel better to be in my own head and processing, but didn’t necessarily pull me completely inwards. LBfH and LB (I switched to LB after a few days since I wanted more of the self love effects, and LBfH for some reason left me sleepy every time I finished a loop) then started a bit of recon city. Since I was already used to that kind of thing on SB and Regen upped my ability to introspect and resolve recon consciously, I immediately jumped inward to all the self love blockages. One of my biggest weaknesses was that I valued preserving relationships over my own freedom and happiness. So while I didn’t necessarily value the other person higher than me, that’s how it played out much of the time. I’d brush off issues I had since I wanted to keep a friendship. The LBs showed me that and my subconscious decided the best course of action was to say “fuck that, I’m doing what I want.” Ghosting, stopping to talk to people where I felt there was more effort put in than benefit received, cutting off people that felt incompatible. All my inner child has ever wanted was to be happy, and over the years that turned into many complex equivalents of “if you do this you’ll be happy” or “if you do this then this may happen which can make you happy” and things like that. But why am I sacrificing my own time and energy on maybes and what-ifs when I could make myself happy right now? If I don’t want to talk to someone I won’t. If I want to be alone I will. If I want to relax and not explain myself to anyone then I’ll do just that.
So basically, I’d run LB, get shown a way I was neglecting my inner child and immediately resolve it within hours, and then feel really good for the rest of the day. After a few weeks this turned into me enjoying my alone time just doing what I wanted to do, reading manga, watching youtubers I liked, catching up on shows I wanted to catch up on. Basically freeing me from anything that kept me from showing myself love, so that I’m the priority of my life at any given time. Now my stack makes use of that, since just my thoughts are a comfortable place to be, and now I have a dense name embed reaffirming that I can do anything and making my thoughts clearer, and a sub improving my self worth and attractiveness to the point that I got results just hours after running it for the first time. Self love makes everything better tbh, and that’s why I’m coming to appreciate it more. Without those few weeks of inner work, I might not have gotten to this place until far later.
I won’t count out the you or other people influencing my focus thing though, a lot of you have started your LB runs recently. A ton of things are contagious subconsciously, especially love.
EDIT: Of the people I stayed close to during/after the social purging, I’m finding that WDB is working very well to better my relationships with. Both male and female. I know I had my whole realization about me not caring about the nature of feelings, and I genuinely don’t care if people have feelings for me or not. But I’m just hoping that even if feelings are there, it won’t impact or change the relationship unless I want it to. Some of my closest friends have been girls that liked me, but some people don’t know how to not make things weird. I think my values indirectly screen for that with my current friends, so even if I detect a little interest there shouldn’t be much change to the relationship. Tbf I also purged a bunch of them to the point that the only female friends I have left I wouldn’t mind liking me a little
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Great to hear the results stuck around even after such a short cycle.
Love bomb for Jelly
I had alot of thoughts about this last night. Its quite hard to put into words, but ive had the revelation that Love as an energy potentially is like an engine for living in a state of non-duality/unity with all. Im gonna play with this idea abit.
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Just you wait until I start RAIKOVing results after I’ve read them once
I’d love to see your own thoughts and rambles on it LOL
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