Stark ZP: Life is Good

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Feb. 14, 2022 - Start of 21-day cycle
1st day using Stark, 1 loop
I stacked Love Bomb with it

This is my first day using Stark after running Chosen, Regeneration, then CFW for a few cycles. I’m desiring to run this at least a couple of months.

My main goal presently is to find out how I want to live with this mindset. Lots of unknowns presently, and I felt a lowering of confidence about myself, but I’m running it presently.

And @Simon, I’m sitting here wondering what I can actually measure (measurable goals). I’ll keep looking. I’ll find something, as I told you that’s definitely not my norm. I’ll find at least one goal today.

:+1:

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#2

While showering this morning, I thought of a remark someone made, and I’d taken it personally. I grew angry while cleaning up.

I’ve not run an alpha title continuously for a while, so I find this good. It didn’t linger, but it did make me aware of my boundaries. It’s empowering.

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#3

1st rest day almost over
I’ll continue my 2 rest day pattern

I’m seeing a lot going on internally. An awful lot. But I’ve decided something.

I’m thinking of @Malkuth’s recent analogy of opening the oven up continuously just to see if the cake is actually baking. This is me getting in my own way, trying to understand everything as soon as I’m aware of it. I’m going to go through my thoughts and inner battles alone so I can face what I must and know I made decisions for me. I know I have help if needed.

Otherwise, I’m just trying to appear I’m really that together. I’m human, and being all together seems like some social myth to me. I’m tired of that merry go round.

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#4

Feb. 19, 2022

This would normally have been my 2nd rest day, but I really craved more Rebirth loops, so I did one of Rebirth and one of Stark when I got home from work today, around noon. I did only one day of rest, and this is an experiment for me.

Rebirth seems to pull me out of fantasy thinking, and that makes me feel stronger internally. 2 days back I did Stark and Rebirth in the morning, and I caught myself checking myself a couple of hours later. Like Rebirth caught me giving some expected reaction to others, and it very obviously checked me. I realized I wasn’t being honest, so I began paying attention to my habitual responses and reactions around people.

I realized I was playing safe again, hiding in some expectation I had put on myself. Rebirth quickly helped me see the unhappiness I was creating in myself, and being more genuine and honest was a more desirable and easier option.

Results for Stark are fewer, but they’re very evident. The first day I used it, I was working in the shop alone, and I was imagining myself doing some comedy skits both online and on stage. I had that thought “I could really do this”, and I was creating skits in my mind as I worked. I found myself laughing at what I created.

I didn’t stick with this since I wondered if it was a stress reaction to so many outside issues popping up in work and finances. I’ve learned that grief (from change) can often come out via tears or laughter, and that answer seemed to fit. On the other hand, I’m wondering if I’m shooing away some creativity coming out of me. I’ve never even seen myself doing standup comedy, but I’ll continue to follow this.

And lastly, Stark has been showing itself from day 1 since I’ve found myself waving at people numerous times during the day. I’ll be across the shop and I’ll wave at guys I see regularly. I’m normally one who inhibits himself around others…and now I’m waving to people every day. I smile at how it looks kind of childish…so yeah, that’s Stark showing itself. I guess I’m just more open to relationships. I’m enjoying myself :slight_smile:

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#5

I wrote this yesterday.

This is my listening day. I’m listening to DR ZP St1 right now.

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