Sometimes, I’ll sit in front of the fireplace, turn on some rain sounds and will just meditate, thinking about who I was before. While I don’t necessarily “miss” the past version of myself, I do miss the sense of innocence and lack of responsibility I had. There’s a bit of magic in those younger years, then you start to learn about what the world really is and your role in it. Before the relentless march of time reminds you of your mortality.
I was looking through some writings, and I found a line of dialogue that resonates with me now:
“Mom used to say that Heaven was hidden in the ‘dots.’ Pieces of a memory – the memory itself didn’t matter. Dot. Smell of a fresh cookie. Ain’t about the taste. Dot. Your stomach crampin’ from laughing at your Dad’s joke. Do the details even matter, or is it about the spirit? Why else do we fight so hard to hold on to so many fleeting moments that seemingly mean nothing?”
I dunno. I just feel movement within me today and I’m not sure what it means. I’ll just let it continue to unfold and enjoy the growth.
Mood music:
To treasure gold is fun
Brother, drop your bag at once, oh
From the air to the people, a mass to take you on
From a clock to the past, a future that I own
And to find just one, other
Seems to be the goal of everyone
From the search to the hurt
I believed I could take you on
We would drink, we would dance
And you would watch me whenever you want
And can you give me
Everything, everything, everything
'Cause I can’t give you anything
And if you wait, if you wait
I will trust in time that we will meet again
If you wait
If letters spell out words, son
You chose to put them in order, didn’t you
From their meaning, the moment
You tried to take me on
From the air to the room
A bed that I own
And can you give me
Everything, everything, everything
'Cause I can’t give you anything
And if you wait, if you wait
I will trust in time that we will meet again
If you wait