Saint’s journal

Journals - Major Programs
#143

2023-05-16T15:00:00Z
Something clicked in me today and I got the next project idea for the side business. Brought it to the boss and she approved. I’m not fucking around with free anymore. From here on out, it’s at best going to be a preview leading to direct offer, and that preview content will itself strengthen our overall brand and marketing too. Otherwise, just make a product and directly sell it. People are happy to take stuff for free and participate and whatever, but it’s only when it’s time for the money to come out that you get their real opinions on what you’re doing. Social media gives an illusion of engagement, but we’re a business. Not influencers. I want to get to a real answer as fast as possible so I can keep executing on different ideas to see what actually sells. So I want to continue to engage but also push direct offers.

What I’m saying is probably unbelievably obvious, but we’ve been doing a lot of the “give value for free and they will come” strategy and I’ve now learned the hard way why that doesn’t work.

I’d rather hear a “no” to a real offer than a “yes” to something free.

I’d rather hold an event with only one paying customer than an event with 20 students who come for free and “might join our school afterwards if they like us and we do a good job.”

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#144

2023-05-19T15:00:00Z
￥9 manifestation this morning. :dollar: Seriously where in the hell did this come from? My last amazon pay transaction was in March…

Wish there were a few more 0’s on the end though… :laughing:

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I think something from K3 is starting to kick in. Because although I’m absolutely failing on the sex side of things, I’m getting an insane urge to go all in to solve my financial problems as that’s been the main action I’ve taken and biggest worry on my mind since I’ve been on this forum. And thanks to the Genesis thread, I understand how I can take some solid steps forward.

At first, I thought that I should quit Khan and go Genesis → wealth subs.

But I realized that I have already been working on some stuff that I want to work on… it just hasn’t been as easy I thought it would be. And it hasn’t been going like I thought it would go. But despite that I’ve continued to work and generate new ideas as I’ve shared in this very journal.

And I have plenty more ideas but it’s a matter of figuring out how to accomplish them. For example, when I sat down to build out my app I literally couldn’t bring myself to do it and basically threw a tantrum and quit.

On reflection I realized that this frustration and sudden urge to go all in on wealth probably IS Khan activating towards wealth. After all, K3 is total action, right? It doesn’t necessarily mean change subs, although it can, but it does mean change and focus on goals to get what you need out of the subs. Which is what a lot of you guys have been trying to tell me but it just didn’t click.

I have so many things still distracting me and costing me tons of money and energy right now – for example, working out and eating good food in a manner that supports weight gain and muscle growth. Especially in my situation where it takes ~40 minutes round trip on foot just to go to a gym, let alone the cooking that, even when minimized, takes time and energy to do, requires menus to manage and update, needs physical rest to help my body recover, etc… it’s draining too much. And teaching is my job? (uses a fuck ton of energy) And then I’m running mentally taxing subliminals on top of that? No wonder I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. This is a luxury habit that I don’t have the luxury of doing right now.

So I’m cutting it. I’m fucking cutting all of it. I’m not cooking and I’m not going to go to the gym anymore for a bit. I’m going to keep my cardio up, my core strong, continue focusing on squat holds and maybe do some bodyweight stuff at home.

I’m going to set a budget for food and buy pretty much all of it out + maybe fruits and vegetables. Keep staples in case of emergency but otherwise just stop all cooking. Pull cash out once a month for food and that’s it. Take the mental and physical burden off, because it’s too much.

I’ve already announced and confirmed that I’m done teaching by September 2024 and I want to leave this city at that time, too. I don’t want a job right now unless it’s a fully-remote and async job I can do while teaching full time. But I want to grow the side business, which is me helping to grow my current employer’s business, and I want to start my own, 100%, I’m-in-control business too. So I’m going to focus my energy on that for this calendar year and mostly forget about jobs.

Side business is at ￥14,140/month. My goal is to get it to ￥250,000/month by the time I’m done teaching. My next step is to get an absolute stranger from somewhere else in Japan to buy our product or join our school via the internet. The money goal is my current salary, so if it can sustain that level then I know I can at least live on it. Same crappy financial situation in terms of numbers, but it would be money I don’t have to directly trade my time for and would thus free up like 90% of my time and energy once I stop teaching.

My goal with my business is to actually launch something and get one paying customer by the end of this year. I know what I want to build but the huge obstacle is sitting down and doing it. I was trying to rush it before, so I’m going to change up my mentality. Even if it’s slow as fuck I’m going to sit down and I’m going to do it. So my next step is to sit down and start. Ultimate next step is to actually launch. Because I know now from experience that marketing and selling it go way beyond just building and launching.

Debt → $0: TBD.

And my Japanese study is the non-negotiable in my life that will continue.

That’s it. I’m either not doing or outsourcing everything else and focusing on money. I’m already sexless so I’m gonna lean all the fucking way into this money thing.

Step 1: Money
Step 2: Move to a better place

Is where I’m at right now.

I’m going to go with a stack of Khan/Mogul/RICH next cycle and see how it goes.

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#145

2023-05-20T15:00:00Z
Another rainy, cold Sunday in May… gotta love it.

These new titles are tempting me so much, and it’s like I’m arguing with myself but also arguing with… Khan right now. And Khan keeps winning.

I’m getting all of these insights into action and what to do. And I have this huge thing in me shouting “focus” “focus” “focus” right now.

I stated my goals in my last post, and one included building out the app and launching it. I saw the latest release, index gate, and thought I would have to re-think my stack.

I sat down earlier to continue going over some sveltekit and something in me welled up and rejected it immediately as a waste of time. Similar to what happened when I was coding last time. It’s interesting because I get zero feelings like that when I study Japanese for 2+ hours. Couldn’t even get through literally 10 seconds of the video I’ve been working through. My mind just starting shouting “Turn it off!” “Turn it off NOW!” But it didn’t feel like it was coming from me, I swear.

So I’m just going to roll with it. I don’t want to fight myself anymore, I don’t want to waste time, and I don’t want to be stuck. I want to make something happen and my side business is what I need to focus on. ONLY. Whatever is going on with me right now, I feel like I’m caught in a tug of war but Khan keeps winning and the pull gets stronger and more urgent with each victory.

Something is crystallizing and it seems to be narrowing the fuck out of my existence. A lot of stuff I’ve read in the past such as “The One Thing” by Gary Keller is suddenly ringing loudly in my mind.

If I pick ONE major goal, and ONE project at a time to work towards that goal, and focus as much of my time and energy each day working until it’s completed, then I can finish it, automate what I can, and move on to the next thing. But if I even have two or three things splitting my attention and focus and energy… I just can’t do it. I won’t get anywhere and I’ll continue being right where I am.

So I’m going to try this again, and I’m going to keep at it until I don’t get any more of this mental pushback and can fall into pure execution.

Here’s the latest iteration:

I’m not interested in getting another job right now. I’m not interested in walking 40 minutes in the cold to go to the gym and trying to be a fucking part-time bodybuilder and part-time chef while I’m broke as hell. I’m not interested in dating, making friends, or whatever. I want two things by September 2024: Livable location-and- boss-independent money and to get the fuck out of here.

I have a side business that’s making ￥14,140/month. My goal is to get it to ￥250,000/month by the end of this calendar year. I’m shortening the deadline, because 7 months is a fucking long time if I’m focused. Plus, this business already makes money. This money will allow me to not have to teach but keep the same (admittedly low) standard of living.

How I’ll get there: Continue to work on and improve marketing. Add products and new lines of business until we get some winners. Then focus on building those out. I’m adopting a policy of only one new project at a time. The project must take me towards my goal. The process: Look at the options in front of me, pick one that makes sense, and work on it to completion. Release it, take a step back and observe, and then repeat the cycle with the next project.

When I think about it, all of the stuff that I have finished thus far has happened exactly like this. Extreme focus to the detriment of literally everything else INCLUDING Japanese. The difference is I’ve felt guilty because I couldn’t make time to trek to the gym or I wasn’t buying food, eating correct macros or whatever else. I felt bad because I couldn’t do everything I thought I should be doing. And when the project was finished I tried to get back into a “balanced” routine. I don’t think there’s any balance for me. I’m not capable of doing even a few of these things for whatever reason. It sucks, but I’m recognizing it now and I’m going to be brave, make the change, and see where it takes me.

I want my days to be:

  • Exercise at home or outside NEARBY (cardio, core, asian squat, bodyweight stuff)
  • Study Japanese
  • Do my day job
  • Work on the current project at hand
  • Marketing

THE END

Khan/Mogul/RICH still holding strong as candidates for the next cycle. :fu: :fu:

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Main Disc. Thread - Khan Black: The Crucible (Custom Core Now Available!)
#146

2023-05-21T15:00:00Z

Exercise :x:
Japanese :heavy_check_mark:
Marketing :x:
Current Project :heavy_check_mark:

Project is a video course. I’m keeping the scope and my tools dead simple because there will only be two of us working on this (mainly me) and I have no budget. I’m not putting my own personal money into these projects anymore, and I’m currently not making enough money from the business to reinvest so heavily either. So the challenge is: how do I make something worth paying for while keeping the overhead low and the timeframe to completion short?

I’ve already done an outline and rough script for the whole thing, but in terms of execution I’m breaking this project down into lego blocks and focusing on finishing each part in its entirety before building it back up into a full course. This will help me iron out the technical processes early on and get into a good rhythm, too.

I’m almost certainly going to buy a good entry-level microphone because audio is a non-negotiable. I will need screen recording and annotation, and I’m looking at a cheap tool right now that looks like it’ll be worth the money because I can use it for a lot of stuff beyond this project. We’ll also subtitle this project, so I’m looking into something for that. I’m not going to buy any video editing software, and I’m not going to include any music or anything else like that.

I have a decent webcam, but I’m leaning towards excluding video for a few reasons including the complexity it can add to the project. I want to focus on the quality of the message and contents, and FINISHING IT. This is a brand new product line and I have no clue how it will go anyway. No need to go over the top.

I finalized the script and slideshow for a part of the course today and will check out mics tomorrow. A student gave me a ￥5000 gift card so I want to buy something from a local shop so I can use it. If I don’t find anything, I may just go with Apple earbuds and hold the mic close to my mouth O_O. It would make things a bit hard, but they’re a surprisingly good fallback!

So the plan tomorrow is to get the first bit recorded so I have a clear idea on the workflow that will be involved, check in with the boss to get feedback, and if it looks good then start the subtitling process NOW so we can get a good idea on how to do it, how much work it takes, how I need to handle my scripts, etc. etc.

#147

2023-05-22T15:00:00Z
Exercise :x:
Japanese :heavy_check_mark:
Marketing :heavy_check_mark:
Video Course :heavy_check_mark:

2023-05-23T15:00:00Z
Exercise :x:
Japanese :heavy_check_mark:
Marketing :heavy_check_mark:
Video Course :heavy_check_mark:

Had to rework the material so I didn’t end up recording. It’s finished now, so I’m going to record two versions, one with face cam and one without, and get feedback to see which one to move forward with. Couldn’t find a good microphone at the store so I’m going to check a different store tomorrow.

Looks like I’ll get ~￥2800 from the sales we made from the newsletter this month. I’m so glad I started doing this side business because it shows just how powerful leveraging other people’s time can be, and how much of a numbers game business is. Unfortunately I’m the one being leveraged :laughing: From my idea, my work to bring it from 0 to 1 and advertise it, and my execution of the event itself we’ll make ￥14,000. And I get to keep a whopping 20%. I’m doing this so we can get the blueprint on how to do this more regularly and make money. It’s the third one and the second one to make decent money, so still early days but good signs. But I need to get the other teacher to start doing it so I can make money off of his time instead. In that case, I’d gladly take +2800 for doing jack shit lol. I think I’ll have an opportunity to push for it soon, so we’ll see how it goes.

As of now, there’s also a +￥5,760 recurring at hand. But if it’s successful it won’t come into effect until September :cry:

Small signs but it’s progress :man_shrugging:t5:

The numbers that I’m working with are just so damn small though! Need to get the power of the Internet on my side…

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#148

K3 Sex update. Well, I’m not social and not having sex, so nothing like that.

Today was a near-perfect day weather wise so I was able to soak up some sun and just felt really good overall. I’m telling you – good weather makes me a completely different person. And the second half of the day I found myself looking at girls and women like sexual food. The way they walk, their shape, small movements they do with their hands, hips, heads, etc. Holy shit I was feeling it today. Last time I felt like this was on Ascension/Primal:

TMI but I jacked it soon after that day.

Khan has showed me my lack of self-control and it’s different now. I haven’t done anything, looked at porn or whatever since starting Khan. And it sometimes feels like a battle but I realize it’s also not a battle anymore. This feeling is AMAZING and my only job is to embrace it.

I had a class earlier and the third girl referenced in this post was driving me crazy. I don’t know what’s under the mask, which is why I hate masks, but her build, her demeanor, her personality – my body responds so strongly and I can’t help it. I was waiting for them to finish some work, and she was focusing on the work but had one hand beneath the desk playing with her skirt, pulling it up occasionally (it’s a long skirt though), slowly rubbing her thighs, moving her hand in between her legs… almost there but not quite. If I didn’t know better I’d think it was a show. Because holy shit did it turn me on. Like normally I might look and say “wow she’s thinking about this problem hard” but today my eyes and body couldn’t help but to notice and appreciate all the subtle gestures and I was trying but failing so hard not to stare. I want to meet some normal girls that make me feel like this :sob:

But shit like this is so much better than porn, even if I feel a bit guilty for it. And the move is to KEEP the energy and appreciate it. Not dump it away as soon as it comes!

It’s making me want to continue K3 for another cycle lol. I feel like K3 is starting to fire on all fronts.

2 Likes
#149

Been seeing a TON of repeating numbers this cycle, too. 11:11 's 22:22, 20:20, etc. Lots of 2’s and 3’s. It got so bad today I had to post about it. I went to check my bank balance (don’t laugh :sob: ) 22,333. Earlier I took out my phone randomly to scroll during a lull in class:

IMG_0599

Starting to freak me out.

3 Likes
#150

Ahahaha I think it’s normal, it’s always been happening to me for a couple of years especially since I’ve been using subclub, you’ll get used to it, in fact I enjoy it when I see them

2 Likes
#151

I gave a student some homework from a textbook last week and didn’t note the page. Today they brought it and I checked it. Noticed the page number at the end… p. 111

Was having a conversation in the car on the way back and glanced at the clock randomly: 11:11PM

As we’re driving down my street, I noticed the license plate of this car (censored the identifying parts but that’s the full number):

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and then these two cars…

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It was too much to ignore so I had to go back and take pictures. And as I was taking the picture of the “…3” plates, a car drove past me with a… “…3” plate

@LovingEmperor I feel like someone’s playing a joke on me. Not enjoying it at all tbh :laughing:

#152

It happened to me too often like you so I decided to make a game of it, every time I see these coincidences I think I’m on the right track and continue my journey well, practically I imagine they are confirmations along my path.
If you see it this way it becomes fun, so we can say that you are doing great💪🏻

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#153

Alright I’ll try and be positive for once :heart:

1 Like
#154

2023-05-29T15:00:00Z

Got paid last week and found huge discrepancies in what I expected vs the check. Turns out I was right on all accounts. Boss is going to fix the issue, but I’m not working on the video course until it gets fixed and ALSO until this payment stuff gets smoothed out. Everybody is happy to get all my effort and labor up front but it feels like every damn month I have to be talking about the money and making sure I get paid for what I’ve been building here. It’s frustrating and it’s got to stop. So I’m stopping all new projects until I get paid properly for the current stuff and I don’t have to talk to anyone about money next month. I’m realizing how important it is for me to build my own thing and take more responsibility over my life. Which means I’ll focus my attention on my other project for the time being.

RICH manifestation for sure: Yesterday one of the students who I get paid commission for paid for a full year up front. And it’s not a cheap course so it’s unusual for someone to do so.

RICH manifestation: Looks like we got another signup today for one of these:

so potentially +￥7900 monthly recurring at some point.

My cycle finished today! Washout for the next 5 days and then on to the next one.

Khan Stage 3
I did feel some things pick up, but it’s not nearly what I expected from reading K3’s description. I’m definitely feeling more horny than the previous stages, and I’m finding my fire to do more but it’s not quite overwhelming… yet. I know it’s coming. I wish I hadn’t run this in a triple stack, but I felt like I had to run LBFH so it is what it is. Speaking of LBFH…

A Love Bomb for Humanity
I find myself being a bit more open and trying to be positive and that might be thanks to LBFH, but I didn’t get any healing or anything like what I experienced the first time I ran it. Given that the stuff at that time was sexual healing, I’m realizing it might have been Primal’s influence, too, and not just LBFH, since the timing of everything was at the end of a cycle in which I had run Primal every other day. Primal had time to process and maybe the time off that was introduced when I did that LBFH loop let some stuff come out… idk :man_shrugging:t5:

RICH
I didn’t manifest a crazy big job like last time, but there were plenty of small - medium manifestations and the one big manifestation that I mentioned happened yesterday. As hard as I’ve tried, I realize that my pathways for manifestation are still a bit limited. I only get paid under specific circumstances, and so I’m frustrated because students have joined but I haven’t gotten paid for a lot of them even though the work I’m doing has contributed to the overall sale. I feel like I’m seeing manifestations of new business, which is what we’re working on, but not getting rewarded by them.

I also noticed that I’m paying way more attention to money, the flow of it and how it’s flowing in the wrong direction for me, not spending on small things, not WANTING to spend, realizing how careless I’ve been with money, etc. Between Khan and RICH I’m seeing more self-control and a greater respect towards money.

I’m very satisfied with RICH and I feel like I need to open up more avenues so I can take advantage and get paid!

Next Stack
I was set on Khan Stage 4 / Mogul / RICH to continue developing with Khan, and get more focus on building up my own business. Then they dropped all of these new subliminals and they are really tempting me – particularly Index Gate: Ultimate Programmer and Khan Black.

UP because I’m mentally unable to give up on this coding thing no matter how much I complain about it. And if it could help me get into a place where I can find a good learning and literal development process, I see it as a great shot to help me with my project idea and potentially get a better job too. Although it’s not my focus right now, I do need to get another job and my only hard skill is in software.

Khan Black because it seems like it’s what I need, honestly. I’ve already mentioned some realizations I’ve had while being on Khan with regards to my sexual energy and self-control. I know my goals and actions right now aren’t focused on socializing, and I’m not having any sex. But I think having high sexual energy, being comfortable with having it and not feeling thirsty or like I “need” to release, and being able to transmute it is a huge step for me to evolve and become a much better version of myself. I think stacking this with Khan would be amazing.

With UP I’m not so torn. I can see Khan / UP / RICH or even Khan / UP / Mogul, but if it doesn’t happen I won’t lose any sleep.

But I’m really really really drawn to Khan Black :confused: If I can develop a stronger, more controlled and healthier sexuality, I will have basically mastered myself on a physical level. I don’t have any other vices, but this one is unbelievably strong. Having balanced, not thirsty, not desperate, consistent energy levels and being able to use my drive towards my goals and work would be amazing. Without planning to, I’ve ended up on a nofap streak since a little bit before Khan stage 1. And I’m now starting to find it hard to go to sleep again thanks to K3 and the overall timing of the run. The energy feels so chaotic and frantic… like it’s trapped in my [NSFW] and begging to come out. I know from reading the copy that Khan Black isn’t about nofap, but it seems like it could help me deal with this part of myself quite well and put some stuff behind me for good.

So I’m thinking about taking a step back and doing Khan Black Stage 1 solo + meditate 15 minutes a day for the month of June :eyes: See if I can’t get my mind and energy under control.

As always, I’ll continue to observe the thoughts and things that come up during the washout and will make a final decision at the end.

2 Likes
#155

2023-05-30T15:00:00Z
Today was bright and sunny, and I made sure to soak up as much as possible. And holy shit – the energy! Been working nonstop since I woke up but feel calm and energized. I realized the other night when I was doing some Japanese that I’m too easy on myself and that I need to push sometimes and demand more. It’s all about my energy and my mental state. K3 might be blooming too because I feel so locked in. I decided to give it another go and I found a great program to go through DSA called structy and I’ll combine it with the last section of execute program. Using the principles from atomic habits, I’m doing the absolute minimum per day. So literally one part of one section of structy, a study session on EP, and 30 min - 1 hour on my app. That’s still a bit of time, but it’s enough to force myself to sit down and focus and then be finished. And it’s a balance of learning and doing, and it’ll help me get momentum going.

I got another newsletter done for the side business and it made me realize how things can develop over time. This is my fifth one, and although it hasn’t evolved much from the first it is way more polished and it’s really catching some speed in terms of involvement and feedback from students. The first issue was all generated by us (the school) and this latest issue is 90% student-generated content. I’ve got some of the systems smoothed out and we’re tackling some other stuff right now.

Teaching English is not really the work I want to be doing, but damn if it isn’t satisfying to see something I’m doing actually have some impact. It feels so nice when I print out the finished product.

I could continue blabbing on but I’m gonna stop, go home, eat and do a little bit more work. Fucking hell I have big energy right now.

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#156

This is my norm as well.

1 Like
#157

Notice your thoughts before you see the numbers.

It’s a synchronicity!

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#158

Notice thoughts and do what? It’s a response to thoughts?

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#159

To whatever you’re imagining :wink:

It’s a “sign” of your conscious state.

If you don’t like if, shift it. :heart:

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#160

2023-06-04T15:00:00Z

Started my next cycle today. Ultimately I went with a double stack of Khan Stage 4 and… Heartsong! I was going to run stage 4 solo or with RICH and forget about Mogul for now since it has some wealth scripting already, actually, but something in me has been pushing for HS for the last few days. Maybe it’s impulsive, but I listened to my first loop of K4 today and when I asked myself “second loop of K4?” “No, buy Heartsong and give it a go” was the answer. So I did :heart:

I listened to HS and fell asleep almost immediately after. Just woke up – about 4 1/2 hours later. Feeling refreshed but a little bit worried about how I will get back to sleep in a little bit. :man_shrugging:t5:

2 Likes
#161

2023-06-05T15:00:00Z
Since I woke up after yesterday’s subliminal-induced sleep I’ve been horny as a mfer. This is what I thought K3 would feel like. To spare the gory details I’m just gonna say I’ve been in a heightened state that has only grown since then. I’m amazed I managed to sleep last night. Also it’s only one loop but I think something from Heartsong is already activating. I feel more at peace somewhere inside me that I’m going to find at least some semblance of love and acceptance.

I’m happy with this first day so far.

3 Likes
#162

Felt absolutely fantastic today. Genuinely content and happy. :heart:

Used my time well and got a bunch done. Awesome!

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