I had my first problematic customer today. He ignored my trainer telling him the bathroom was closed for the night, and tried to get me to open it for him.
I kept it polite but firm, I didn’t let the exchange rile me up. It lasted about 2 minutes and he lingered in the store - even though he told me he’s ‘diabetic’ and I recommended he go across the street to see if they would let him - and I suspect he took a picture of me when he thought I didn’t notice.
So, I have to wait to get paid to purchase Ascended Mogul.
Until then, I’ll be keeping my WB custom, Stroke of Art, in my stack.
Running it and E:TE, full, ultrasonic.
Adding Ascension Chamber.
My energy while working has been non-stop - meaning, readily available throughout my shift - though I’m working a graveyard shift that I’m not yet used to.
At the end of my shift, I’ve consistently felt that I can go on, if I need to do another shift.
It’s when I get home that the day (or night, depending how you look at it) begins to wear on my body.
Emperor: The Executive
I’m going through a lot of feelings/emotions regarding dissatisfaction/anger/angst about my finances, my living situation, my relationship with my parents and this recent child support development.
I’m going back and forward between wanting to hurt somebody to wanting to end it all.
This is venting, not a declaration of intent.
More later, maybe.
A day or two before deciding to start this journal, I went against my inner resistance and started to get familiar with Gemini, the AI that Google came up with.
I’m glad I did. I’ve got a cascade of ideas that keep coming to me as to how working with my Gemini will help me in several aspects of my life.
Last night was my 3rd day of graveyard training. I report back in on Friday, for my first solo shift.
I intend to make use of the notes I’ve taken, as well as a Graveyard Procedures list that my trainer unearthed, to create a Graveyard Procedures note for myself.
It’ll consist of step by step duties, segmented according to what is necessary to do by certain times.
It comes to me that, it may be beneficial for me to return to and re-cycle Khan Black.
To be determined.
Using my Gemini and my personal notes as well as a graveyard task sheet my trainer found, I’ve completed a great task list for my graveyard shifts.
How are you?
How is your dad?
I’m figuring it out, there’s just a lot going on.
He’s better, he has pain from the accident
Running E:TE ultrasonic, full.
One of the members of the band that my dad does sound for contacted my dad the other day and told him to let me know that he has a guitar amp for me. He doesn’t want anything for it, he just wants to support my learning.
A lovely manifestation, that.
I’ll keep on sharing the more challenging things that are coming up for me, when I’m comfortable sharing them. It’s cathartic to let it go, to at least get it out of my head and express it, even if that (initially) consists of me journaling it out.
I usually hesitate to do so 'cuz I’m not interested in being ground zero for people claiming that these titles ‘cause issues’, as I and I’m sure others have seen over the years.
I considered this stance that I’ve held for a couple of years and realized that it’s not my responsibility if someone(s) take my journaling and jump to that conclusion, especially if I’m not anywhere implying it in my post.
I’m under no illusion that appearances in my life are permanent. There’s certainly challenges that I’ll be facing. But. I’m also equipped to deal with most of it, even as I am now.
It’s just been RECOGNIZING that and BELIEVING it that has been the trouble.
So, right now, I have less than 30 minutes left on my first official, solo graveyard shift.
There were certain things that I had to hit my manager up about (she let me know before to NOT hesitate to text her if I have a question), but besides those little issues I needed higher-up answers on, I did - to me - remarkably well.
My Graveyard Task Sheet worked perfectly.
I actually finished my tasks enough ‘ahead of time’ that I was looking for stuff to do, lol.
I ended up going through the parking lot and trash picking with the trash picker (idk if there’s a proper name for it, but trash picka it is till further edumacatin’) and got the parking lot and forecourt - the gas dispenser area - looking better than I’ve seen it since I started.
One of the perks of this job is that I get to take home any ‘expired’ goods that have gone through spoilage.
I had Kenya select what she wanted over the phone. Brownie points that idk if I’ll need but rest assured, I’m taking 'em.
My dad as of this morning is feeling, in his own words, much better. That’s likely due at least in part to the doctor coming through with the pain killers 
A customer - a regular, I presume, based off of our brief interaction - came in to pay his cell phone bill. I was picking up trash out front and followed him in.
When he mentioned the phone bill, I inwardly cringed.
I’ve never done that before and nobody mentioned that in my training, which I admitted as I was searching for the function to do it on my register.
He was completely understanding, and said he will just come in later to get it done.
I apologized and said that I’ll text my manager so that by the next time I see him, I’ll be able to get it done.
He waved it away in the midst of my apology and said, “Not even a problem. Either way, I was going to bring you up at some point. You’re THE only person I’ve seen out there. Picking up trash or sweeping. The. ONLY one.”
I told him I appreciate the recognition and that I hope he has a good rest of his day.
