Road to AEON - KB x2 / Alchemist X1

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#21

I am becoming better at receiving the " intuitive nudges " that is the action taking response to the NSE at work. Again, time is fragmented. I am doing things both large and small, like making a random call to an old friend to posting on someone’s journal saying something that feels like " it just needs to be out " but not in a cathartic way… but for " some reason " i have yet to understand, might never fully understand, due to it playing it’s part for " something "…

A more apt analogy would be a video game character and the player… From the player perspective, he is playing the game for the story and experiencing the world… The player, however, is doing things that would make little sense to the in game character they are controlling which ultimately contributes to the desired outcomes for both

I am the in game character, my subconscious is the player. My custom KH sub seems to have given the player the agency. I don’t claim super intelligence, being chosen or superior to anyone in any way shape or form… I am not living on the surface of my identity… I am curious of what lies deep beneath

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#22

The desired life. Its benifits, ease, perks and results… condenced in the now

A feeling… of having it all now… so full it runs over… an over abundance of it… it spills and leaks

It is so full looking anywhere else becomes near impossible

That feeling… knowing there is nothing better, it couldnt feel or get any better… and even if it could, it makes no damn difference…

Whats an ocean when flowing in an abundant sea? This is the new ground zero… the real one

Struggle feels foriegn. Hard work? An old relic of a mind addicted to struggle… seeing nobility in it any nothing else

Looking on the right… through the trains windows… i see life… i see nature… i see god… i see the sun bathing our beautiful world

Looking to my left… i see an equally beautiful brunette chugging a sugar free redbull

Oh how she keeps looking my way… constantly crossing her legs left to right, flipping her hair once every minute… shes been at it for the last 10 minutes

To my right i see the world… To my left a beautiful lady… i feel like saying hello to both… the world and it’s magic… served to me on a silver platter

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#23

This is pretty cool, it looks like your pdf link isn’t working anymore though. Would you mind sharing it again?

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#24

How did you get that analysis?

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#25

I dragged pdf for all subs & custom modules into GWEN 3.0 and i asked it questions about my progress regarding my custom.

It was able to give details contans info on entire title with all its 20 slots

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#26

Do not confuse how someone treats you for the current person you are with who they are!

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#27

For some reason, I’ve been getting recon in the exact same manner of how i used to on Total Breakdown which was almost half a year ago… Nothing like the recon post Anti Recon Tech which I’ve been using in some form since release.

It’s like all the progress, growth and control I’ve slowly and patiently build & cultivated for so long has collapsed before my very eyes. I can’t make sense of my emotions or what to do about them. Anything i do feels like the wrong move… Everything i do somehow makes things worse.

It is what it is i guess. The more i understand, the less i do. Progression is never linear for too long i suppose. Is that logical? relevant? a cope? makes no difference. I care little about control or logic anymore… I did hope for a sense of stability… Something i can hold on to. Yet everything crumbles as fast as i grab hold on it. Unable to hold onto anything, unable to fully relax while floating aimlessly.

Trapped in a matrix within a matrix within a matrix within a matrix within a matrix within a matrix… It stops making sense. Yet i am oddly at peace with that. Perhaps that is enough, even if fleeting

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#28

Perhaps the lesson hear is humility. While i truly don’t see myself as somehow still having an ego, real humility is acceptance of your limits, imperfection, and humanness, even after deep personal growth. I merely forgot to treat myself as a human. That will still have bad days, tempers and fuckups regardless if i was 1000x better or worse than i currently am.

There is no outgrowing, out smarting, out training or out-letting-go of this. Just like going number 2 in the bathroom. It has to happen. This ought to be where self love comes in. Sometimes, you fuck up regardless if you do everything else right. Don’t confuse your very nature that requires grace, self acceptance and forgiveness with perceived feedback of your journey…

  • Ego-free: Not identifying with superiority, pride, or control.
  • Humility: Embracing imperfection, mystery, and dependence on forces bigger than yourself—without collapsing into victimhood.

It’s so dumb, so silly, so cring yet it feels so right. Im proud of myself and my fuckups.

3 Likes
#29

Recon got resolved. Feeling pretty chill and comfortable. Life can be unfair but thats not all there is to life

Im embracing simplicity and neatness again.

#30

I’ve known about this for years, but only recently have I been able to feel it.

For example as a metaphor, when someone acts rejecting towards me, it now feels more like a spongy football hitting me on the shoulder rather than a cannon ball hitting me in the stomach.

Have you read about the Taoist concept of wu-wei?

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#31

First time from your post but i’ve been doing something similar for a long time now. Since effort, logic and understanding stopped doing it for me long ago

#32

In Taoism, Wu Wei (無爲) is a concept meaning “effortless action” or “non-doing,” emphasizing aligning one’s actions with the natural flow of the universe, or Tao, rather than forcing outcomes. It’s not about laziness but rather about acting without ego-driven desire, trusting intuition, and letting go of resistance to allow things to unfold naturally. Key aspects include patience, present moment awareness, and responding to situations rather than imposing one’s will… I want some.

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